How do you feel about non-gift giving guests?

My father paid for our entire wedding so we didn't pay for it (just to start this off). We had several guests that attended & didn't gift anything. We didn't care at all and had no emotions about it.

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Thank you for sharing how you felt and your situation. You are one of the few people on this forum who has refrained from judging and preaching.

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Thanks! I personally think it's a little odd to not give a gift at a wedding BUT I know a lot of people can't afford it. My husband and I are super lucky and weddings aren't financial burdens (unless someone decides to get married in Hawaii in 2 months and we get very little heads up) so we do the whole "cover your plate" cash rule at every wedding we go to. But I know a ton of our friends could never afford to do that, and just driving and staying overnight for our wedding was hard for a lot of people. We did keep track of who gave us gifts for thank you cards, and were surprised at some who didn't, but in the end it didn't matter.

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Thank you for taking the time to leave a well thought out message. Just to be clear, it's not an issue of tit for tat. Several of the people are close friends and though I don't know their overall financial situation, they all have 6 figure jobs, in some cases more, so it's not an issue of money. At least five guests who didn't give anything I know have modest means, so I didn't think twice about them not giving a gift. The one's I am referring to are people whose weddings I went to and bought a gift for, while I was a student and broke. A couple of them are people I've really gone out of my way for. So, what it makes me think is that I am confused about my friendship with these people. Meaning, I can take care of their dog for weeks, and buy them wedding, baby shower, gifts, but they do not think of me in the same way I think of them. Perhaps I have set the tone for the relationship that is one sided.

I'm not going to lie but I was bothered AHAH. I mean the idea of inviting them is that their presence is the gift because they're celebrating with you but I sure as hell know I'd bring a gift to someone's wedding purely out of etiquette. But I am not going to lie though I really was bothered by some of my friends not bringing gifts or anything. Even a nice card would be ok ya know? But at the end of the day it is what it is and they're still your friends because they came out to celebrate with you. So it isn't that big of a deal.

It doesn't really change the relationship I just keep it in mind for whenever those friends get married. The best man and one of my bridesmaids didn't give us a gift. The flower girl's parents also didn't. The mom gave me a gift at the shower which ended up being a duplicate which she returned but then never got anything else (I thought this was strange and a little rude). It didn't make me hate her though. In fact, I let her borrow my cricut machine for awhile. Many other guests didn't either, but the VIPs stand out the most. I think for me personally, it'll just be tit for tat at their future weddings.

I feel a gift is not mandatory. I don't expect my guests to gift me anything except their presence at my wedding. It's a celebration of love, not a birthday party. I specifically put no gifts in my invite because I don't want people to spend money when they aren't obligated to.

I've read similar discussion boards on here where people point out explicitly how much they spent on specific aspects of the wedding, the overall wedding, how much other people gifted, how much the couple gifted at other weddings, etc. and personally....I do NOT think any of this matters when it comes to receiving gifts.

For our wedding we did make a registry and received some lovely gifts from it, some gifts not from the registry, and several thoughtful cards/checks. We made a list of who gave what, solely for the purpose of sending thank you notes; we did not think about "oh X and Y didn't give us anything, those jerks" but rather shared the positive feelings about "how thoughtful/generous Z's gift is". My BIL wanted to see our list because he is very into comparing what he got for his wedding vs what we got, and we politely told him we would not share it with him.

A gift with expectations is really just a business transaction.

For us, both sides of families had to travel and pay for lodging. so i didn't expect one gift. didn't want them to be honest. Them making the long trip and staying was gift enough for us. we were very thankful and surprised for what we did receive.

sometimes people are struggling financially, can't afford the travel AND a gift. so we have to also be understanding and empathetic to our loved ones. we shouldn't do things for the sake of getting things in return. I understand its a wedding but they made it there to celebrate. To me, that is a wonderful gift.