How do you ask/tell bridesmaids about hair and makeup

Honestly, before WW, I had never heard of BMs not paying for their own hair. It just came with the territory like buying the dress. I would say send them a message and tell them that you're making an appointment at x place and the cost is x amount and is that okay with everyone.

I have never been in a BP before and now I am the MOH in my besties wedding and planning my own. She hasn't really told us if we are paying for our hair or not. This wedding is going to cost me a fortune! Traveling from Phoenix to chicago and hotel cost alone. But it's the things we do for our closest of friend right?!

If your requiring them to have an up-do, then you pay. I "had" to get an up-do for a wedding not too long ago. I HATE my hair up and then to top it off I had to pay for it on my own. If it would have been up to me I would have saved myself $50 and done my own hair.

I emailed my girls and asked if anyone was interested in hair and/or makeup. I told them the prices and that it wasn't required for them to do it, but to let me know if they wanted it.

I'd always thought BMs paid for their own hair. I asked one of my BMs who has been a BM in more weddings than I've even attended, and she agreed. However, I tend to agree with the WW majority on this one... if you require something (other than dress and shoes) you pay for it. I'm requiring my BMs to have hair and makeup done and I am paying for it.

The average around my area for hair and make up runs 130-150. I'm not requiring my girls to get it (some of them always have short hair so there isn't much to do anyway) because I'm not going to be able to shell out 750 for the 5 of us to get done. However, most weddings that I know or friends that have been BMs were never told they HAD to get it specifically, but all the girls got it anyway and paid their own way, especially if they came onsite to do the bride anyway.

And I'm with some other comments..I had no idea before WW that it was faux pas to ask your BMs to pay for..well..anything. Thought it was an unwritten rule/agreement when you agree to be a BM that there are costs involved when you sign up. Within limits, obviously.

I just told my girls that I was having my hair done and the stylist was coming to the venue. I let them know that I was totally 100% OK with it if they wanted to do their own hair/makeup, or go to their own stylists if they wanted, but let them know the pricing if they wanted to get ready with me. I left it up to them, and they are all going to get hair done and do their own makeup.

Just because it may be the "norm" in your group to require specific looks but not pay for it, doesn't make it any less rude. Sorry, if you require it, you should really pay for it. Kind of just the nice thing to do.

Before WW I have never known for a bride to pay for the wedding party hair styles. Every wedding that I have been in or known for others to be in the wedding party paid for their own hairstyle and we got whatever style the bride told us that she wanted.

I emailed all my girls and told them I was looking into hair stylists & Make up artists that are in a certain range and asked them to let me know if they were going to be getting their hair & make up done so I can have an accurate headcount for price quotes. They all said they were in, and actually one of my BMs (FSIL) has offered to pay for the make up for all the girls & me. I told her she did not have to do that but it was very generous but both my FSILs are so excited about the wedding and that I asked them to be BMS that they keep saying they want to help & contribute something so FH said to let his one sister pay for the makeup if thats what she really wants

My mother and myself (and a bridesmaid or 2) are staying at a hotel near the venue the day before the wedding. We wanted a hairstylist and makeup artist to come to the hotel when we woke up to do our hair and makeup (to have less stress that day), and there was a minimum number of people needed for the stylist to travel there. We needed all 4 of our Bridesmaids to be getting their hair done by the stylist for her to come to the hotel. I am letting my bridesmaids pick their own dresses as long as they are purple, knee length, and not shiny material, and I have been relaxed about everything so I thought it was appropriate to ask for them to pay for their hair and mandated that they get their hair done by the stylist I picked. I am however covering the first $15 of the hair, so the girls are only paying $50 for their hair...they are also choosing their own hairstyles. I made the makeup optional and I still had 2 out of 4 bridesmaids opt in which was great. My MOH didn't want to pay for her hair, so to defuse that situation I am paying for her's as her MOH gift. My other 3 bridesmaids had no issue at all paying the $50 for their hair to be done in our hotel suite. Good luck!

If I were you I would tell them about that place like "If you guys want to have your hair and make-up done I found a pretty cheap place that will do it". I bet if one decides to do it the others might, just so they don't get "up-looked". Don't "require" it so they pay for it.

ETA: The others are right, if you require it, you pay for it.

Ok so I have been in a ton of weddings and I have never had the bride pay for me .... But I did have my hair be part of the bridesmaid gift.. What means more to you saving money or everyone looking the same ... that might help your decision

If you are requiring them to get an up-do, you have to pay for it.

If that's not in the budget, you can say something like this... "I would like you to wear your hair styled in an up-do or half up/down for the wedding. I will be getting my hair done at xxx Salon at (time) the morning of the wedding if you would like to make an appointment! They also offer make-up services. Otherwise, please plan to be at (venue) by (time)." That will give them the option to make an appointment at that salon, at a salon of their choice, or do their own.

I am paying for hair but letting the girls choose to do their own makeup or use the MUA we are hiring for myself, my mom, sister (MOH) and FSIL. I think about half will take advantage of the MUA and half won't. I'm going to let them know all the details of the day of in an email and I'll include that info, as well as the cost if they want to use the MUA, so they know in advance!

@Athena if you're trying to get numbers for a quote you could ask your girls who would want to have their hair and/or make-up professionally done if you booked someone. That's what I did and to my surprise all my girls wanted to have their hair and make-up professionally done. I think the option is considerate, I would have appreciated the option in my case as money was tight and my mom could have done a much better job than this hair stylist. Everyone is different but as a BM it's nice to have a choice.

I hired a girl and told my BMs this, "I hired my stylist, and if you'd like to use her also, she charges $75 a person. Just let me know so that I can get her for more time." 2 opted for her, 1 did her own. Honestly, I trusted my bridesmaids to do whatever because I knew they wouldn't look bad regardless. I've had my hair done in weddings when I was a junior bridesmaid and for my sister's (my mom paid, I think), but the two weddings I was in as an adult - I did my own hair.

Thanks guys! This has really helped!

I have to say, I'm in a wedding right now where we are obligated to pay for dress/shoes/hair/makeup and nothing is optional. It's a bit frustrating as a BM because we have spent A LOT of money so far... I think focus on what's important to you and leave the rest optional. If hair was optional I'd still get it done, but I wouldn't feel resentful about it in any way.

I was a MOH and I paid for my own hair. I think if you are requiring it, then you should make sure they are okay with it. If you don't care what they do, then you don't have to pay for it.

If you are requiring them to get it done you should really be paying for it. If it's optional just tell them that they have the choice of paying $x or doing it themselves. If you are only requiring hair I would say something along the lines of I will be paying for hair and if you would like to get your makeup done it costs $x. I don't really know of a good way to phrase it if you are requiring but not paying other than telling them hair is going to cost $x so please have money with you. Also, if you would like to get your makeup done it will cost $x.