How do I tell someone they aren't invited?

If they say it again just shrug your shoulders and say " there are so many people we would love to invite but space and monetary restrictions are really getting in the way of that. I feel terrible I've had to cut so many guests already". they should get the picture.

I don't know other than to just not send her an invitation.

I think I would go with the explanation... becasue even if you dont send her the invitation she can probably still show up and think of it as "she probably forgot"

"We are having a hard time with the guest list, budget and size limit is pretty small. We won't be able to invite everyone." Anytime anybody brings up wedding stuff..lol

Thanks so much everyone.

I'd probably fake a breakdown at work one day and say something like "oh my goodness we had to cut down our guest list to FAMILY ONLY because of money!" and faux-cry about it.. you'll know if they comfortyou they wont be too angry with not being able to attend and they'll get the idea. course.. i'm pretty scared of confrontation at work, so .. i take the weak way out!

I'd say just be as straight forward about it as possible. Tell them that you wish you could invite everyone but unfortunately due to (budget/space/catering/venue restrictions, etc) that you can't. Don't leave any room for them to misunderstand and think they are invited. They may not be happy but hey, what can you do!

I have a similar thing going on! I have people asking me all the time if they're coming to the wedding. And most of them the answer is no. I mean I've known them growing up but we're not close and it just seems like a ridiculous question for them to ask. I had someone tell me today that he's really looking forward to my wedding and we rarely even talk so I'm not sure why he's wanting to go so badly.? And I'm also not sure how to not hurt people's feelings about this!! grr!!

It's a tough situation but really the sooner you let them know the better. I just told them the truth, that due to budget and the fact that we are paying for our own wedding, we are keeping it to family.

I actually had one of my sister's friends tell me "i kNOW i'm on the invitation list". uhhh no......you're not. now here's the thing, between her and her 2 sisters, all 3 of them are married - one of them as recently as this summer. i wasn't invited to any of their weddings now all of a sudden they expect an invite to mine. i don't think so. i didn't hesitate to tell her we already have more people than we can accomodate.

I have a girl that stalks me pretty much (long story, she's crazy)... Anyways she has made many comments while stalking my websites like "oh my god your cake sounds amazing, I can't wait to have some" to "yes you got a DJ! Can't wait to dance the night away at your wedding"... etc

About a week or two ago she "found me" eating lunch and came up to me and blatently asked me if she could "please come to (my) wedding"..... even though I wanted to tell her to go f*** herself I decided that a) she was crazy and could track me down and kill me and b) if I was mean she would be more likely to crash my wedding...... I pretty much just said "Well right now it's looking like we're only having family but if space clears up I will DEFINITELY let you know".... she bought it. If someone as crazy as my stalker can accept it and somewhat move on, then I'm sure the people you are having issues with will, too.

If you dont want to be straight forward with it make it an invitation only wedding. Hire a couple of bouncers and make it plain that NO ONE gets in without an invite. Make sure that you tell your wedding party and the guest that you want to be there so that no one that you want at the wedding gets a lock out. Then just dont send them an invite! To ensure that they dont use other peoples invites have your guest RSVP with the names of thier guest then make a guest list that security can check as people enter.

Wow NAB! sound like you got a gen-u-ine crazy on your hands! I hope she doesn't get too much crazier!

I'm with emily on the bouncer idea because you have some people who dont care if they didn't get an invite they will show up anyway and say they thought you forgot to send there invite, we haven't ran into that problem yet but our wedding is invitation only and we will have security and ushers with a guest list at the door.

I really don't care about the ceremony. anybody and their mama can come to the ceremony b/c there will be plenty of room. but the reception is a completely different story. there just isnt' the room!

Facing the same issue.....I've simply have had to tell people that because our family is so large....there wont be too many friends

This is soooo frustrating. I have a "friend" well more of an acquaintance that has had herself invited to my wedding even before I was engaged! It's too bad not everyone understands the agony that goes into making the guest list and then having to cut from it. It's probably my least favorite part (ok, next to budget)!

Lol yeah ladies glad to hear I'm not the only one with a crazy female stalker... funny how people think you can't have a girl stalk you unless she's a lesbian (though with some things she's said to me I wouldn't be surprised if she had a crush on me)...

But yeah ppl were like "omg she really came up to you and put you on the spot like that?" Someone asking you to be invited to your wedding/assuming they are invited to your wedding is REALLY rude, but I think how you handle it shows what you're made of. I think some of the people almost expect you to explode on you so that gives them ammunition later to do something stupid, like crash your wedding. Even though I'm not one for being fake, you can definitely nicely tell someone they aren't invited to your day or add in a little white lie like I did about not having space, it just being for family, etc... GOOD LUCK I KNOW THIS SUCKS

I've somewhat got the same issue...i guess my grandma didn't know we'd changed our date, since we cancelled the october wedding. i guess she didn't know we just moved it to march. no big deal, right? she's happy excited whatever. then goes on telling me about all these cousins whom i hate, where they've moved, etc. granted they wouldn't show up anyway, BUT i'm not inviting them! or my uncles! (my moms 2 brothers, i'm only inviting one!) so i just told her i was doing "family invites" just one to each name, but the inside would be for all...not true, but she ain't gotta know! PLUS, my soon to be step sister, saw my myspace status that said i needed relatives addies, and she made a comment "oh ask ur mom she has mine! can't wait!". a)the b*tch wanted my stepdad to pay for it, b)she and i do not get along! c)she thinks she's a high priestess of a wiccan group and she'd come wearing black! nothing against wiccans at all, she just has no class! mom said she'd take care of it lol