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Just Said Yes May 2014

How do I tell a bridesmaid I no longer want her in my wedding?

Jessica, on August 7, 2013 at 2:23 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 6

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So I have a BM that is I am wanting to tell I do not want her in the wedding anymore. The reasons why are well I met with all my BM's and MOH the other day to talk about things, and we all have some drinks. First she is being loud and completely cutting the girls off when they are talking, on her phone not paying attention the other half of the time. Then she goes to say she got engaged the night before which I had no clue about and says her wedding is NEXT MAY, my wedding is in MAY! How stressful would that be, everything we have is going to run together or might conflict dates. Weddings are expensive and being in weddings isn't cheap! I'm scared she is going to back out at the last minute or even not show up to my stuff because she is caught up in her wedding planning, bridal shower, etc. Why would she try to do it the same month as me! I didn't even feel like she was all in or excited about helping or anything when we all met! I don't want to be stressed out about this but I am.

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6 Comments

Latest activity by Alycia, on August 7, 2013 at 3:42 PM

Master December 2012
Just Reenski · on August 7, 2013 at 2:33 PM
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Is this a good friend of yours? Someone you love and care about? If so, I'd suggest first having a conversation with her.

"I'm so excited that you are engaged! You mentioned you are planning for May 2014 as well, so I just wanted to check in if you still think you'll be able to get ready for your own wedding as well as being a bridesmaid in mine. I know weddings can be expensive, so I don't want you to stretch yourself thin."

This gives her an out if she wants to take it. If she insists she can still be a BM, I don't think she's done anything to warrant kicking her out (like brides on here that have written that at BM has tried to break up the relationship or hit on their man.) There's still time to your wedding, so you shouldn't fear her not showing up to things that may not even be on any of your BMs radar yet.
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Master December 2012
Just Reenski · on August 7, 2013 at 2:33 PM
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And welcome to WW! I hope you'll update your avatar (the rings) to ANY unique picture from Google we can remember better. Here's how: https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/welcome-to-the-weddingwire-forums-please-read-if-you-are-new/b433c40c1a62b96a.html
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VIP August 2013
Mrs. Butler · on August 7, 2013 at 2:48 PM
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I agree with Reenski. Have a talk with her alone and see what she wants to do. Make sure you are honest with her and give her an out. If she wants to stay in and have her wedding later that month, just make sure you are ok with that and hope for the best.
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Master June 2014
TooManyMistys · on August 7, 2013 at 3:17 PM
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I agree with Reenski... Personally, I wouldn't care if the weddings were the same month but more so the fact that if it's too much for BM to be in mine she lets me know.
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Master October 2014
FutureMrsP · on August 7, 2013 at 3:35 PM
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I wouldn't get upset that you are getting married in the same month (if I read that right).

My cousin and her BFF got married 3 weeks apart so my cousin could do her honeymoon

If she is a good friend, have a talk with her - no drinks involved - and see where her head is at. She maybe super stressed about her wedding & wants an easy out. Don't force her out of the wedding party.
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Expert October 2013
Alycia · on August 7, 2013 at 3:42 PM
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You each only ge one day. If you have to decline being in or attending her wedding because of the dates then that's her issue nt yours. But you shouldn't kick her out, thi is your friend and she's done nothing wrong. So unless you're okay with ending the friendship entirely please don't do this
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