How Do I Stop Comparing Myself/Wedding to Others... :(

I'm at that age too! We have had 3 weddings this year, ours will be the 4th, and we have 4 next year, and still have friends engaged who haven't picked dates. One wedding was my cousins and everyone has been comparing them. I keep telling myself and everyone else, her (their) day is PERFECT for her (them), and my day will be perfect for me. The only thing I have changed since paying is my dress and that was due to fit. Sure I see things I want/love but then I remember, why would I want the same thing from this wedding at mine? And what I have planned is what FH and I did TOGETHER and that's what matters.

Trust yourself and your intuition. You'll be fine, look great and everyone will cheer you one. I think a little weekend or spa day is in order out of town with your husband to be. Best.

I am on both sides of this. We are in our late 30s so not many weddings happening here. But I see a lot of pics and posts on social media of "friends" and then creep on others who've used our venue.

On one hand I feel like there is part of me that just doesn't think what we are doing is "big" enough. Like, we could have easily doubled our budget and gotten all of the extras. A friend got married a couple years ago and laughed at only spending 15k on our 83 guests. She had over 300 and they spent well over 60k. I remember the spectacle of it all. I let myself get a little down about the comparison for a moment and then remember that I didn't even get to talk to her that night, that their parents paid for most of it, and that it was entirely over the top. And she was incredibly stressed out and didn't seem to enjoy her day. I remind myself that ours will be much more relaxed and fun.

On the other hand, though, I do find myself being a wedding snob to other people. Like "omg I can't believe they're doing this at their wedding". FH and I made bets as to whether a friend would have drink tickets or a cash bar. I'm disappointed in myself for acting like that. Instead of just being happy for them and enjoying watching and helping them plan, we are being assholes behind their backs. I would die if they ever found out.

I have been better about trying not to compare either way. Our day is going to be perfectly us and that is all that matters.

Yes!! I know the feeling all too well. I like my venue but don't LOVE it. I think that's the biggest part. I was totally loving my centerpieces now I feel blah about them. I think it's just stress of planning everything. I know once the day is here I'll be perfectly fine

Can't wait for the "magazine spread" that will be yoomie's BAM.... @OP listen to Keisha... she gives the best advice and hers is spot on for this.

I have been SO wishy washy that I just quit wedding planning and quit coming on here back in the summer. Had a nightmare last night that I went all the way to our wedding date without committing to details and the wedding turned out a mess. So now I'm back to planning, but trying to stay focused on what FH and I want and can afford, without comparing it to other weddings.

I totally understand how you feel. I need to stop worrying about what other people will think of my daughter's wedding. If they're happy on that day and hopefully forever - that's what counts. I've been watching 4 Weddings obsessively and the one thing that stands out from those weddings is the love and joy between the couples not how big their centerpieces are. <3

Wise words MrsMitch

In the day and age of the internet and social media, this is totally normal. I think humans always naturally want what we don't have. I didn't have dress regret exactly (I still love my dress), but I definitely saw some other stunning gowns and thought "hmmm, what if?" I also have major picture envy. I don't love any of our photos and we don't have any truly beautiful or creative shots, so whenever I see some on facebook or instagram I'm like UGH. What I have learned is some of the happiest couples I know (including our own parents) hated their weddings. I mean, in 10 years we'll probably all look back on our weddings and the trends of this decade and say "OMG WHAT WAS I THINKING?!" but hey, hopefully we'll still be married and not think "WHAT WAS I THINKING?!" about our spouses...

I totally feel the same way. Thanks for posting this. There are a lot of helpful posts in this thread.

I feel so many people put so much on the wedding but remember this is about your marriage. You are marrying you're husband and what you have chosen for YOUR wedding is for you and him.

I've found myself doing the same thing recently as we just attended my FHs sisters wedding last month and my sisters wedding this past June. A lot of our guests will obviously be the same so I'm worried that they will compare and therefore I am too! But at the end of the day we picked what we did because we love it and how we feel about our day is what matters...that's the energy people will remember! It's still your prerogative to change your mind..I've changed my mind about certain things only because I found something I fell in love with more, not because I'm trying to impress or compare! Stay positive and try to remember what your wedding is really about!

I feel that way when it comes to the pictures of our spectacular day. We had a fairytale day, but I feel like the pictures we had done don't do it justice and I sometimes I get so upset I feel I'll still, esp after looking at other people's BAMs on here and wishing I had pictures like that. It's your day and about the marriage between you and your partner. You still have time to change things if you don't feel comfortable with your decisions, but I'm sure your wedding will be gorgeous.

Wow. I was feeling this way too, and I just read that and it just immediately helped me. Thank you for the reminder.