How Do I Stop Comparing Myself/Wedding to Others... :(

I just went to the most beautiful outdoor ceremony and now I really wish we were having an outdoor ceremony....instead of in a church. She posted some pictures on Facebook and they turned out breathtaking. The lighting is beautiful. But when I look at pictures taken from past ceremonies at the church we're having ours at....they look so dark and dull in comparison.

I feel like I'm being so complain-y lately. Which is why I haven't really said anything to any of my family or FH. I've just kind of bottled up my feelings and now I just need to vent.

The only thing I'm SURE about is marrying FH....but everything else I seem to want to change my mind 24/7. I was IN LOVE with my dress when I bought it...now I see other dresses and wish I had something different. I was IN LOVE with my venue when I put the deposit down....now I wish I had chosen another option.

Anyone else this wishy-washy?? How do you make it stop and just BE HAPPY? I'm mad at myself for being like this but idk how to not feel the way I feel.

Probably a natural feeling. Try to remember the goal is the marriage - not the wedding. Best wishes.

Everyone has a vision of their day. I can appreciate and enjoy someone’s day without it taking it away from mine. Your wedding is special because it’s your wedding. Stop comparing because it’s silly and will drive you crazy for no reason. You made the choices for your wedding because they are a reflection of you as a couple. Focus on that.

I remember going to two weddings this summer and second guessing if we made the right choices

Piggy backing on what Keisha said... This is your day, not who has the most glammed up wedding contest, leave that for TV. FH and I are on a major Budget compared to what other people in our city spend for a wedding (we live in a major city) even compared to ppl on here we're spending way less. And I say that, to say this: there are times I wish I had a better this and a better that but then I remember I picked what I picked because I know I love it. I know regardless my day is going to be wonderful and at the end of it all, once the final guests leave, I've accomplished what the whole this is for anyways, marrying my best friend. Don't let other people's vision make your vision seem small

I deal with the same things. Thankfully I haven't gone to a lot of weddings since we've gotten engaged, but when I see pictures of everyone's weddings I start to second guess everything. The important thing to remember is that the day you get married, those other weddings will be the last thing on your mind. Marrying your FS and being surrounded by your loved ones will make the day perfect in your mind.

Thanks so much guys!! This is exactly what I needed to hear.

Yes! I feel you girl! I'm there right now. Stay away from Pinterest for now. It will only exacerbate your feelings. Take a breath and think about the feeling you had when you first made those big decisions. Keep those in mind when the comparing monster comes your way. Every wedding is beautiful and different and like they said above a reflection of you and your FH. I know you're wedding will be stunning

I've been to 3 within the past month and 2 taught me what I absolutely don't want and 1 was gorgeous and has me thinking about it a lot. I see a lot here and start to wanna incorporate everything so I also took a little break. I now realize my wedding is a reflection of my FW and I.

Ever since I started reading forums, I've felt the same way. Gorgeous dresses and people bashing ideas that I had liked. It's all part of it, I think. Like Melody said, do the wedding that reflects you, not whatever worked for somebody else. The only thing I'm sure of at the moment is my venue and I'm only 3 months away.

I'm two weeks away, all is set to the last detail. As I look at BAM's, I had the same feelings. One even had a horse as a bridesmaid, and the background was a castle! My wonderful FH brought me down off that ledge by simply whispering this morning : I can't wait to marry you in 13 days" I can't wait either, and it will be OUR day. Just the way WE planned it together.

I feel for you. I'm really grateful that the next wedding I attend will be my own. The last weddings I've been to were last spring and last year, New Jersey and Vermont respectively. So very different from the San Juan wedding I'm planning. But I do get venue regret. But I have to remind myself that it's beautiful, wheelchair accessible, and the best quality for our money. I also purchased a ballgown which I still adore but since the hurricane has devastated my island I'm concerned that our wedding will be in poor taste when so many people still don't have electricity. Then I have to remind myself of all the local businesses we're supporting and the fact that my family wants to celebrate. They're taking about how they're going to celebrate a low key thanksgiving and Christmas. Regarding more practical wedding stuff I've changed my color scheme a thousand times. Somebody stop me. And yeah, if I had to go to a bunch of weddings in the same city as mine I'd be freaking out. Hang in there! Every wedding is special because of the people that are happy to celebrate the couple. It'll be amazing.

You have to be true to yourself about what styles and approaches of each provider, and style of venue and decor...decide what is your splurge and what to do without.....and the experience you wish to have as a whole. In the end, nothing else matters. Everyone is different. THIS is where Pinterest isn't necessarily a good thing. Do you, keep it healthy and be careful who you discuss it with. Be sure about the choices you make and let it be that.

This post is why I'm glad my wedding is first out of 3 other cousins who got engaged this year. I didn't want to be constantly comparing especially since Each one of us has very different styles, tastes and budgets. Don't worry about it too much. I'm sure what you've chosen will be great and your guests will have a good time.

Your wedding should reflect who you and your future husband are. I am on a tighter budget (around 10k) but everything I have picked so far is truly a vision of who we are and what we like. In the beginning it was so easy to see pictures and want it all and then I really thought about MY vision and what I want our guests to feel. I imagine the other weddings you have been to have been reflections on who they are, as well. Trust that the decisions you have made so far have been made because they are what you love, a reflection of who you are, and what you have envisioned for your wedding!

I think it's totally normal to feel this way and start comparing yourself to everyone. I've been to some very expensive weddings that were stunning but by far my 3 favorite ones were casual and fun. Sometimes I think when it's an over the top gorgeous wedding, it feels more like a Broadway production and less like a marriage. I like real and genuine over glitz. Not that you can't have both sometimes.

Maybe share your concerns regarding the church with your photographer. They should be able to work around some of the features that concern you. In the end you have to do what reflects you as a couple. Im marrying an outdoorsy kind of guy. Im a minimalist and try to keep what I own to what is beautiful or useful. We are having our wedding in a state park in a beautiful old hand hewn log CCC cabin. For some people that would be awful. For us, its perfect. You do you.

I have the opposite thinking - I go to others weddings and think how ours is going to blow theirs out of the water. FH and I claim all of 2018 as our year and feel sorry for others that have to compete with us (in our family or friendship groups).

I'm in the same boat! Feeling like I rushed a lot of decisions without really considering all of my options. Just keep reassuring myself that everything is what you make it! I know that when it comes down to it, we'll be together, surrounded by all of the people that are important to us, and that's what really matters.

Your day will be wonderful!

There's definitely a lot of pressure to make fast decisions. I booked my venue sight unseen bc when I called 3 of the 4 dates I wanted were booked. I really need to get a move on it with my dj and caterer. It's hard taking a lot of time making decisions with things booking out more an a yr in advance. And that's where some of the second guessing comes in.

Focus on your relationship with your SO because it doesn't matter how extravagant the wedding is if the relationship isn't strong. The wedding is one day that many years from now won't matter as much as the life you build with your SO.