How do i kick a bridesmaid out?

Unless you want to totally sever your friendship with said coworker, there is no way to kick her out. It's also seriously rude to replace her.

Honestly Follow your heart.

Considering you work with her I'd keep her. Yes, it's tough, but out would make the workplace even worse. She cares about you now, what will happen when she doesn't care anymore?

This is not advisable even if she was a friend outside of work. It is a friendship ending move, but here, it could potentially even be a job ending move. I think you should be civil and keep things status quo.

You can add the other girl to your wedding party since your wedding is so far away, but don’t kick your coworker out. It would be so awkward to work with her after that!

Why would you feel obligated to make a co-worker your bridesmaid? What makes you think she wants to steal the show at your wedding? Are you guys friends outside of work? Was she dramatic before you asked her? Sounds like you made a bad choice. You can't kick her out. You work with her now your going to make a bad relationship at work. You should have picked close friends and family from the beginning. If you choose to kick her out just know you may be ruining your work environment having to see each other everyday. If you want to add to your party feel free.

Yeah that's tough because you work with her. If you didn't, I'd say just be done with it if she's that terrible, but the work thing adds an extra layer. If you did kick her out, would she make your work life terrible in terms of your job performance? If she doesn't have that control, maybe I'd risk it.

I’m dealing with a similar situation, I have a BM who I really have no interest in being friends with any more after we had a falling out and she doesn’t get along with my other BMs but her BF is the best man and if I don’t continue to include her I know she won’t let him attend the wedding out of spite! So it might sound terrible but I’m sucking it up and putting up with her until we get through the wedding...

Ship may have sailed for you but for people reading - don't ask someone to be in your bridal party out of obligation. That being said, just because she is dramatic and makes relationship choices you find questionable doesn't mean she is going to try to steal your day. Other people are right when they say this is probably going to cause you issues at your job. Not worth the risk. Just try to focus on what matters, it's easier said than done but your getting married to your fiance is what this is really about. Not if someone in your bridal party is dramatic.

View Quoted Comment Couldn’t agree more, OG. I chose my bridesmaids because I truly couldn’t imagine getting married without them by my side, not out of obligation.

This is a tough spot to be in. If you kick her out, there will be no friendship and work could be extremely awkward. Good luck with your decision.

You made this bed so I feel you have to lie in it.

From what you have said, her behaviour seems to have always been this way so you know what you were getting into when you asked.

Truthfully you knew what you were getting yourself into by asking her. It's a bad spot to be in but she will be a bother either way but by having her stay then it won't be a bother at work

Just nicely say that you feel that you two are on diverging paths in life and while you enjoy her company and your memories together, you feel your friendship has come to an end. Wish her the best of luck in life with her new boyfriend and offer to repay what she has spent (dress, travel, accommodations) for your wedding. If this other girl is a true friend and you explain to her the situation then I’m sure she’ll be happy to be included in your wedding. The people on here act as if this is the first time they’ve ever had a friend show their true colors or made a new friend they’ve clicked instantly with, but this really isn’t that big of a deal. It’s not the end of the world and you deserve to be happy on your wedding day and look back at the photos with joy, and not resentment towards internet strangers that convinced you to keep a toxic person in your life.

Why don’t you confront her about your work issues and not even address the wedding? Perhaps the situation will solve itself. And if you feel strongly about the other friend, ask her! No need to “replace” the drama queen. If it ends up uneven, so be it.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. I know etiquette says no. But let's be honest. You need to be happy and you should have those close to you stand next to you on that day.

Kicking her out will probably be more trouble than it is worth having to deal with her every day at work

Everyone sees their coworkers at work every single day. Why did that make you feel obligated to ask her to be in your wedding?

Kicking her out will be a friendship (if you can call it that) ending move but it will also make it super awkward because you work together. You can’t just wish someone the best in life and tell her the friendship is over if you will continue to see her every single day.

I went to high school with someone who’s dating someone 20 years her senior and I dated someone before H who was significantly older. 23 is a bit young but don’t judge her relationship.

I’m not sure why you think she’s dramatic or going to steal the spotlight on your wedding date. All you’ve written is she was in a toxic relationship, she found someone else, and she has a bad work ethic.

If she is significantly hindering your ability to do her job, confront her about calling in and having you do her work. If you’re not comfortable with that, talk to your supervisor or HR about the challenges you’re facing and how you’re always getting screwed over (don’t use those words) so they are aware of the situation. If what you’re saying is all true, she should be put on notice or a probationary period if she constantly calls out and has someone else doing her work. The situation may right itself by going this route. She can handle it how she wants to but you every right to report her to management about her work. Better than you getting fired. If she doesn’t want to take responsibility of her job, that’s on her.

Dropping a bridesmaid will for sure end the friendship, but it sounds like you want to end the friendship anyway, so asking her to step down is better than having her in your wedding photos. But I think it's going to be difficult to go about. Most people don't drop a bridesmaid unless BOTH of you decide to not be friends anymore. By your post, it's not sounding like she has a problem with you so it's not like you can mutually go your separate ways. So I say go for it if that's what you really want, but best of luck because I can't imagine that it'll go smoothly

Also, only add your other friend if you are SURE of your friendship. You should never ask someone to be a bridesmaid unless you can picture them being in your life for the long run. A bridesmaid isn't just someone that physically stands by your side on your special day, it's someone who you would want to share many more special moments with in the future. So make sure that you aren't considering asking this other friend for the sake of numbers or out of obligation.

I don’t understand why you would feel obligated to ask someone just because you work with them every day. Now that youve asked her I think it would be a very bad idea to “kick her out” because that drama will definitely interfere with work. You kinda made your bed with this one. If you want to ask the other girl, just be aware that it honestly sounds like she would be an after thought and she may take offense to the fact that she wasn’t initially included.

You dipped you pen in the company inkwell (not a dating situation but close to it) and now you are stuck. No need to go over why you asked her in the first place, but I would look for another position in another department and get her the hell out of my life and my wedding.

You made your bed on this one and it WILL cost you professionally, on way or the other.