How do I ask for gift cards or money instead of gifts?

I think it depends how well you know your guests. it's a smallwedding I think it's fine large weddings id say no if its not traditional ( like in some other cultures for those who so vibrantly find giving money as offensive). I personally wouldn't find it offensive if you don't have a registry, have all you need • are moving , Id want to qive a gift, and its not assumed you want money because it usually "impersonal" to give money unless you say its ok , ill buy a gift. .You may not need say it if it a small wedding. As a guest, Id rather know i find it more offensiveand less efficient or toss or return a gift after I spent my valuable time and money buying a gift- I wouldn't assume that you'd want money unless stated-because gift cards and money are seen as lazy and impersonalwhen they are not asked for. Ironically all of these ladies graced but such high moral and etiquette standards are the ones being the rueddest in their responses.

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I love that I found this post - even if it's almost 3 yrs old. I am recently engaged, my fiancé and I recently moved into together, and we honestly weren't planning to register for gifts because we don't need anything (for the house). However, money is ALWAYS needed, regardless of your circumstances so I plan to forgo the registry completely and just may include a cutesy poem and wishing well instead :-)

Being a Guest of About 16 weddings in the past year I've seen both cash and registries referenced on invitations. And as I guest I take 0 offense and 100% appreciation for it because it makes it WAY easier for me to know what to get them, and it's cool because with wedding registries at stores, Brides and Grooms pick things in all price ranges, and with Money Trees, wishing wells, etc. I always give what I can and every gift is much appreciated. It's common sense that My friends and loved ones being married aren't trying to offend me, It's a time to celebrate their happiness and I'm Happy to gift them things that THEY WANT, rather than spend hours walking around a store trying to decide what to get, and wonder if it's something they'll even use/need, and waste their time taking it back to the store returning for store credit. I was born in the 90's and all the weddings I've been to in the past year are also individuals who were born in the 90's, I think times have definitely changed, and I think it is not rude at all to reference preferred gift. I also know for a fact being a Bride for my upcoming wedding as well that if someone showed up without a gift, it wouldn't be the end of the world, It's no big deal, if they can't they can't i will not sulk or loose any sleep over it, I will only be thankful that they were able to make it out, as I'm sure other brides are. the reference on the invite to me, is for those who WANT to give, and it is to make it easier for my guests, not only to save the time from jumping from person to person asking what to get, but from feeling bigger satisfaction as I do in knowing they gifted something that was preferred. And knowing all my guests so well, I know if I don't add reference on my invites I'll have all my tias and tios asking, why I didn't put it on, I'm making it harder for everyone. I guess it just depends on culture & age as well, As I said all weddings I've been to have thankfully had reference on the invite. If people throw a fit over a simple reference on an invite to help others who do want to gift, then they really don't have to be there more food for everyone else.

Love this forum! First, cash, money, & checks have almost always been great gifts and that definitely applies to weddings. Today it applies more than ever as,” About half of couples agree … that the gift they’d most like to receive is cash, according to another Amex survey released in April.” Today it is much more common to see, “The gift table also often goes nearly empty.. “It is the social norm now to give gift cards or cash,” said Casey Reese. Nina Vitale in charge of Events at a NY location said, “During the past two years, guests have been bringing mostly envelopes, no gifts, ” and, “When it comes to registering for gifts, a generational sea change has developed.” This is not a fad,” “Jason Dorsey, the chief strategy officer and a millennials researcher at the Center for Generational Kinetics in Austin, Tex., sees this as a change that is continuing to accelerate”

Ok, we got it, money for a wedding gift is not ok but it is the gift most wanted. There are Wedding Registries offering E commerce platforms, you should look at and find the one that fits what you want and need the best that facilitate couples and guests to get & give money. Some even do provide the mechanism for the couple and guests to do this easily with wediquette and taste. Some registries also include charitable donations. Money is freedom to get what you want when you need it.

1. Freedom from wasted time and stress caused by other registries, lack of transparency, or disguising money as actual gifts

2. Freedom from Unpleasant feelings and guilt

3. Freedom for the emergency coming that you are not aware of.

So if you can:

1. Get or give the gift actually wanted

2. Do so in a way that doesn’t cost anyone any extra time, stress, or negativity

3. Fosters love

4. Makes the couples life easier before, during, after their wedding.

5. Gives a gift that is anything on the registry, anything not on it, and anything the couple is not even aware of yet.

The question we want to know is, why would you not give money and use a site like The.Wediquette.com , Newlywish.com, etc.

There are a few ways to politely indicate that you would prefer monetary gifts!

- You can simply not set up a registry, your guests will get the hint

- Or set up a very small registry with a few items

- Or use a cash registry website like Newlywish

Your best bet is to set up a cash registry on a site like Newlywish, which allows guests to contribute to a particular large purchase, like a down payment on a new house, or a car. Know that some guests will want to buy you gifts instead of cash, so you should probably set up a traditional registry in addition to your cash registry.

You can also check out our Registry Guide for tons of tips and ideas!