How did you handle even sides?

Without knowing everything, I immediately want to think you both should get a fairly even guest list. Having said that if it would result in cutting family members, due to covid, just to allow non family member guests, then absolutely not. How uneven are we talking here? And how many extra people do they want to add? Are there restrictions due to covid? Sounds like a tough situation.

Hmm I don’t really think that is too uneven. I do see their side of it. I would be ok if they were close family friends, almost like family. But I think it could be perceived by Some of the other friends like they didn’t make the cut, ya know. And where do you draw the line. I wouldn’t be happy about it but I think I would allow a couple more guests on his side, as long as they were “like family”

I totally understand where you are coming from. Maybe you can sneak a couple people in without it being a problem. I think it would be unreasonable for them to request adding 8 people to make it perfectly even, but a couple seems achievable ☺️ Good luck!

41 vs 33 is not really all that uneven, and I think your FMIL is being unreasonable. Stick to your guns with this one!

How ridiculous! I can't believe they actually think its 'rude' you have more people on your side? What do you even say to that?! 'sorry my family pro-created more than yours'?

8 extra guests isn't many, and if your FMIL will pay for them, it'll be fine, but I think she does need to be reigned in that it's ok to have uneven numbers. Lol she'd be filthy about my wedding, I have 120/150 of the guest count because FH is from a tiny rural town!

My family was technically nearly 30 people.

2 came, and that was pre-pandemic.

DH's family was technically 14 people, and 7 came.

Honestly, this feels a little petty and rather concerning. If your FMIL is worried about "fairness" now, how is she going to behave when it comes to holidays?

This is your wedding, and you and your FH need to figure it out without her input.

I honestly don’t see the point in arguing over 8 guests. If FH & FMIL want the 8 guests I would invite them.

This exactly!!! I was thinking the same thing!! (on the top section) I was thinking grow up lady (to mother in law) as it stands now, my boyfriend has more on his side than mine of family coming and i don't care... it's not about who has more on who's side..!!!

Your MIL is being extremely petty. And while I don't disagree with other PPs that it would be easy to just give in since it's only 8 people, I would be very concerned the precedent that it would set for your future marriage. For example, "Well you spent 4 days at your parents last Christmas, so I expect you to stay 4 days here this Christmas," or "Why didn't you tell me your mom was giving our grandchild 3 gifts when you knew I was only bringing 2 gifts." I realize those are extreme examples, but I could just see this being a very slippery slope, and life isn't always going to be "even-steven." I would hold your FH accountable to what you already agreed to - family only.