Ashley
VIP December 2018

How did you arrange your bridesmaids?

Ashley, on August 23, 2018 at 11:43 AM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 26
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I'm stuck on how to arrange my BM once they get up the aisle. I don't have a MOH- I didn't pick one because the girl who would have been my MOH and I didn't speak for a year due to a spat, however we made up early this year and it's like nothing ever happened. But since there was that gap year, I thought it would be best not to have her as my MOH- but she's a BM and I'm very happy. So, any one of them could stand next to me. My first thought was just randomized and I'd pick any order, but I had one BM (not the one that would have been the MOH) make a joke about how if she wasn't the one standing next to me, she wouldn't "help me pee" in my dress. I laughed and said it would be random, but then she said it again, and then once more later on- all as a "joke." While I don't think I'll need help going to the bathroom in my dress (I have a hoop skirt that I've found should actually makes this very easy), I was caught off guard by this, since I thought not having a MOH would make it so the order wouldn't matter at all?? I don't know if my other BMs are thinking this way- I really don't think so.


So now I'm stuck on how to arrange them- my thoughts are either by height or they all draw straws- no hurt feelings. Has anyone else had anything like this?


TL;DR: How can I arrange BM to avoid drama of who stands next to me because there's no MOH?

26 Comments

Latest activity by Cynthia's and Robert Wedding Day, on August 24, 2018 at 6:34 AM
  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    Does your FH have a best man? Do any of your bridesmaids know the best man?

    I just ask because the way we arranged our sides is based on people who know each other. We do have a MOH and best man plus 2 bridesmaids and 2 groomsmen. So obviously MOH and best man are next to us but here’s how we figured out the rest of the order.

    Best man is next to FH. Groomsman #1 is also friends with best man. He will be second in line so he can stand next to the best man who is his friend, making Groomsman #2 third in line by default. Then between my 2 bridesmaids, Bridesmaid #2 is friends with Groomsman #2. So she’ll be third in line so that she can walk down the aisle with the groomsman that she knows.

    Not that it really matters who is friends with who... but it’s a way to choose an order without offending anyone.

    Then if someone were to ask “why am I third and not second?!” Because we thought you’d enjoy walking down the aisle with the groomsman who is your friend. 🤷🏻‍♀️ None of our bridal party really seemed to care either way lol but it was our way of just deciding for ourselves since we really can’t even rank our friends!
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  • SB
    VIP March 2019
    SB ·
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    We chose to go with family first, then friends. My cousin who is MOH is first, then my sister in law, next is FH's two sister in laws and then my last 4 are friends and they really aren't in a certain order. We just lined them up. Granted each person in mine and my FH's party is either married to each other or dating, so that made it way easier.

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  • Ashley
    VIP December 2018
    Ashley ·
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    No best man, either. One BM knows one of the GM, so I can pair those two together. No one else knows each other Smiley xd FH also doesn't care about the order of his GM- so ugh. BUT, FH's brother would be an obvious choice to stand next to him (best man or not), and he's the tallest of everyone. So that could segue into an easy height thing?

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  • Ashley
    VIP December 2018
    Ashley ·
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    That would make it easy- only one person is family though (a GM, FH's brother). And no one knows each other outside of one BM knowing one GM lol

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  • FutureStephD
    Super March 2019
    FutureStephD ·
    • Flag

    I'm going by height this way no one gets their feelings hurt and I'm not ranking them! I'm lucky b/c my MOH is the shortest anyways. Haha.

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  • earias
    Champion December 2017
    earias ·
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    I had 3 BMs and no MOH. I arranged them by how long I knew them so the one I knew the longest stood next to me.
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  • Ashley
    VIP December 2018
    Ashley ·
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    That works out a little funny because that would actually put them in order by height now that I think about it lol. I couldn’t say it was by time though, the BM that made those comments is the one I’ve known the least about of time- by a few years. And she’s the one that’s most likely to cause me drama.
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  • Alexis
    Dedicated April 2021
    Alexis ·
    • Flag
    I don’t have a MOH either and I’m going to be doing shortest to tallest. Same for the GM as well. but we have a Jr BM and jr GM and they will be at the end. It’s easiest that way, and plus we have some giants in our we’d party lol they need to be at the back.
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  • latasha
    VIP September 2019
    latasha ·
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    I similarly have had some issues with my former best friend and despite us not being as close as before I still am not at the point that I want her out completely. Despite wanting her in it I also don’t want her as my MOH tho. I have two sisters who I’m super close with but one is my planner and DOC (she’s amaaaazing!!) and my other will be singing (also amazzzzing lol) and she also hates being in weddings. The singer may end up as the MOH so she and FH’s best man would stand next to us and the rest of the bridal party would be lined up by height. If my sister isn’t the MOH I will have my BMs line up still by height. FH will have his BM and rest of bridal party lined up by height.
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  • Santiago/Bowe
    Dedicated June 2019
    Santiago/Bowe ·
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    I don't know what to tell you because I have 3 daughters ages 20,13 and 9. My maid of honor will be my 20 year old. Then my 13 and my niece who is 14 will be bridesmaids, then my 9 will be junior bm Then my best friend will be Matron of Honor who will be next to me.

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  • B
    Devoted September 2018
    Bri ·
    • Flag
    You could put all of their names in a hat then line them up in the order you pull their names out, then of they ask you could say it truly was random.
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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    My MOH is next to me, but then after that it will be by height, shortest to tallest. I not only think it looks best in pictures, but then it's less awkward telling people where to stand.

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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    ^this is a really good idea! I'd definitely do this, no one can argue with that logic and hopefully no one will be hurt by it!

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  • JustKidding
    VIP April 2018
    JustKidding ·
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    We did it by height. The shorter ones next to us, taller outside. It just great.

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  • Ashley
    VIP December 2018
    Ashley ·
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    The only problem with this is the one who made the comments is the one I've known the least amount of time, and the only one who would actually cause any drama -.-

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  • alwaysWright
    Devoted October 2018
    alwaysWright ·
    • Flag

    I had to jumble mine up because we now have a split couple on each side of the BP. They absolutely cannot walk down the aisle together, and FH gets top priority in line-up because he's known his friends longer than I have. So my girls are totally random apart from the MOH. No one has said anything to me about being upset over it, so I hope it all works out! lol

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  • earias
    Champion December 2017
    earias ·
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    The good thing is you don't really need anyone to help you pee. It's really easy to just sit backwards on the toilet.

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  • Ashley
    VIP December 2018
    Ashley ·
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    This is a really good piece of advice, thank you!


    And yeah, my first reaction was to put her last just for saying that to me! I would never actually do something like that out of spite, but I was just like uhhh what? If she had come to me and said something like "hey, I know you don't care about the order, but it would mean a lot to me if I could stand next to you" that would have been a totally different story!

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  • April
    Super November 2018
    April ·
    • Flag

    So I wanted to have my Sister be my MOH but I didn't think I could really trust her with that responsibility for various reasons and then my best friend, she was just a MOH for our other friend (my other BM) and she also has a million things in her life so I didn't want to put that on her either. So I went with no MOH.

    I have 4 Bridesmaids: My sister, niece and 2 good friends. I decided that I would arrange them shortest to tallest and since I am super short it made sense.

    So standing next to me would be my sister, one friend, my niece, and then my other friend. This way no one can be offended by anything and I won't look as short with my sister standing next to me who is technically like half inch shorter than me.

    While I think drawing straws sounds fun, I could see someone getting hurt by this. But if you just say tallest / shortest first and so on... then it is more about aesthetic than it is about relationship.

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  • A
    Dedicated September 2018
    Alexis ·
    • Flag

    I honestly don't think it matters...I have my MOH right beside me, then one of my childhood best friends, my fiances sisters, another friend after that, my fiances cousin, another friend and then my cousin (shes 10 and a junior BM) so kind of a random order but maybe it helps? lol

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