How Close is Too Close?

I wouldn't plan my wedding around birthdays, so April is still an option.

You really only have to give them their day/weekend, but from experience I know it can be tricky. We planned our wedding to be six weeks after another wedding in my H's family because we felt that was a respectful amount of time. They got engaged a few weeks before we did and set their date before we started looking at venues. Did we have to do this? No. But it was so much easier to just do that and not ruffle feathers.

You can still have a March wedding, just not on the 14 or the last weekend of March (unless you want your cousin to have to choose between his friend or you).

February is fine too. It's your limelight too, don't forget.

It'll be interesting to see if you choose a February date, if they move theirs up.

I would plan for February. They can't tell you when you can get married. If it is before their date so be it. They bumped you out of your "month". Did they consider your feelings when picking a date? No.... Shoot for February!

Well..... in terms of etiquette it would be more polite of you to book your wedding date for after theirs, since they got engaged first. You guys got engaged after them and then called dibs on the most desirable month for a wedding in your region.... of course they're going to want to get married in the same month, and they moved on booking their date before you did. I understand you're upset (sometimes our feelings are not rational, I would know!!) but this is something you should really let go of.

That said, I don't know that it's in great taste to go ahead and now plan your wedding right before theirs. If I were you, I would find a date in April. You can't worry about everyone's birthdays when choosing a wedding date. I almost booked our wedding for my Dad's birthday (and he was completely on board), but the church and venue didn't wind up working for that date anyway.

Honestly, you can't lay claim to a month and everyone only gets their one day. My brother and I are getting married 5 weeks apart, his in August and mine in September.

End of February would be fine. Also, as far as family birthday's go...unless the wedding is going to be on their actual birthday, what is the big deal? April 4th would probably be fine.

I think people always really look at this so negatively. Honestly, I couldn't be happier that my brother and I are getting married a few weeks apart. We talk about how we'll go on an anniversary trip together. Its a really exciting time for our family!

Will you have a lot of family that has to travel to both weddings? If not, and most people are local, I think two weeks or so is fine. I also don't think you have to avoid a whole month due to birthdays. I would look at either 2/28 or 4/4.

I agree with Allyson--your only worry here should be the comfort of your guests. If there will be a lot of overlap between the two weddings, it might be hard for some guests to travel, get time off work, afford gifts for both. You don't want to make guests feel they have to choose between the two of you.

I don't think there's anything to the argument that they got engaged first, so their wedding should be first. Clearly, the cousin's best friend was engaged first and the cousin is having his wedding two weeks before, so the cousin won't really have much to complain about.

Pick a day that works for you and your family and be done with it!

They were originally planning for the end of this year and that's why we wanted to be sure to be open with them about our plans for the March date. It just sucks because his cousin knew this was the only month we were considering and they still decided to plan theirs then. I understand that I can't "claim" a month but it just really annoys me that this happened.

We were going to do April 4th but the 5th is Easter...