How close is too close?

People on here say that everyone gets one day, but in my family, that'd be a problem. It makes it hard for guests to travel to both weddings, it puts an additional financial burden on guests and families, and IMO, it just seems attention grabby (but that's just my opinion).

Have you booked anything yet? Because having a date in mind doesn't necessarily mean you are able to get married that day. If you haven't booked anything and they have, I'd personally move the date. But my family is more important to me than an arbitrary date.

It depends on if all of your family is local or not. Our families are all over the country so this would be difficult for aunts/uncles/cousins/grandparents etc. I would want to space mine out more so my family could be there but it comes down to what is most important to you.

I don't think you've technically done anything wrong, but morally you have. Your FSIL only gets one day for her wedding and you can absolutely choose anything outside of that, but you should be ready to deal with the repercussions of it. I would choose a different date.

I also agree it depends if your guests are local or not. If you’re inviting a lot of family from out of town they’ll have to choose one over the other. Since your fiance’s sister set her date first I’d imagine most out of town guests would go to hers.

If her date is set first the that unfortunately puts you in the position of changing your anticipated date. 3 weeks is pretty close, especially if you have OOT guests that would have to travel to both in such a short time.

I know your date is sentimental, but keep in mind it is just a date. It essentially means nothing - the marriage is what counts, and your wedding day will be just as special no matter what day you have it.

If you haven't booked anything yet then you are perfectly fine to change the date, and I think you should - especially if it is causing fights within your family.

Do i think you've overstepped? No.. But for the sake of both weddings id either push it up or out. Even if a majority of your guests are local its still pretty expensive to attend wedding festivities and having only a three week gap may mean that some may have to opt out on one or the other. Plus id assume your fiance..and potentially you? are in the wedding, and would you really be able to enjoy theirs with yours a few weeks later??? That pre wedding stress kicks in high gear right about then

Any date you choose to have your wedding on will become sentimental because it will be your wedding anniversary. I would move your date since it sounds like they set theirs first.

3 weeks is closer than I would be comfortable doing. My brother and I had weddings 6 weeks apart and that was comfortable, but much closer and I think it would’ve been hectic for my family. I could be wrong but it sounds like theirs is booked and you’re just choosing a date now? If so, and you’re not booked yet— I’d advise listening to your families. Bear in mind , those are the people it affects the most. If my parents argued that it that would be too much for them, I’d respect that and shift the date — if it’s not great for my family, it’s not a good date for me. My brother only proceeded with planning after they chatted dates with us, and we were all on board.

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What's morally wrong with this? At most it could be inconsiderate if a lot of the same guests have to travel.

Daughter has been planning her wedding for 18 months now. Last week we hit the 3 week mark, and I have to tell you, no matter how organized and on-top of things she is, we both freaked out because suddenly all the "last minute, we'll get to that when it's closer" stuff hit full force. If I was fiance's parents, I'd be really annoyed to be put in the position where we'd basically be in hard core wedding mode for 6 weeks or more between the two weddings. If it were me, I'd change your date because I think you're asking a lot of people. (And, I wouldn't blame FSIL for thinking you are being kind of jerks. Yes, you each get a day, but there are also LOTS of other potential days you can pick. Especially if the current date is really July '19, that's only 6 months away which is a pretty short time to plan a wedding in the best of circumstances....

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I don't think it's ethical to host a wedding 3 weeks after your sibling. It's an inconvenience to any mutual guests who may need to travel, purchase two wedding gifts, possibly attend two showers, pay for a sitter twice, etc. all within the same month.

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Ethics and morals don't enter into it. Those are pretty strong words. Inconsiderate is as far as I'll go in a situation like this. Causing an inconvenience is not immoral or unethical. A guest invited to two events one after the other like this doesn't HAVE to attend both or either and likewise doesn't HAVE to participate in all related activities. Would it be inconvenient? Possibly. Expensive? Maybe. Is the host putting the guest in the position of deciding what to do acting unethically or immorally? Absolutely not.

View Quoted Comment Did the OP ask for opinions? Yes. Did I give mine? Yes. You’re welcome to have your own opinion, but I wasn’t the one asking for advice here. Please direct your comments to the OP, not me.

If it were me, I would change my date to something further away. Primarily I would do it to be considerate of all the guests that will be invited to both weddings, especially if some have to travel. Your wedding is second and you scheduled it knowing it was very close to the other wedding... as a result I would predict if people could only attend one, they would choose your fiancee's sister's wedding. I wouldn't want to risk having family unable to attend mine. For that reason alone (and my future in-law's sanity) I wouldn't choose a date so close. Unfortunately I do think you've overstepped.

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Ma'am, YES, Ma'am!

Then again, you might have noticed that posters responded to each other, not just the OP, with alarming frequency on these boards.