How Can Anyone Afford This!?

View Quoted Comment I agree with all of this. Also online invites like evites.

We are paying for our own wedding as well. We are new homeowners and plan to have kids very soon,so a budget wedding is the only option for us. Ive been researching for 2 years now and Ive found great ideas!

#1 guest list. Just like everyone advised. Immediate family only. No aunts/uncles, cousins, college roomates, coworkers, best girlfriends. They love you, they will understand. They want the best for you and they dont want you to go into debt.

#2 Have a long engagement. After years go by, the questions about your wedding stop, the nudges for invites quiet, and the over all hype wears off. People start to understand a big wedding isnt your top priority and start to lose interest. I have found this is helping us alot. We have a huge, close family that spends alot of time together. 4 other couples in the fam have gotten engaged and married since we got engaged and its helped lessen the attention on us. The pressure has been dieing down and I rarely get asked about our wedding anymore. This has erased the anxiety I felt over planning my dream wedding and feeling like it has to be a secret.

#3 Lock down your priority vedors early! For me, its photography. Get a contract signed early to lock in a price. Often people will raise prices throughout the years as they grow. Get someone new who is looking to build their portfolio. By the time your wedding rolls around, theyll have dozens of weddings under their belt and an entire year of experience to better their craft. This goes for make up, flowers, decor. Whatever is your priority, book them today!

#4 Restaurant take out. No seriously. Chain restaurant take out. I couldnt find one caterer that would do a party of 25 during wedding season here in San Diego. The lowest minimum I could find was 40. But local restaurants can provide trays of food for a small group at a really reasonable price. Hire a server to set up the buffet and a server to do drinks. Simple. People will be fed and it will be no where near $100 per plate. Olive Garden, PF Changs, Bucca Di Beppo, BJs all offer catering.

Your local church might offer to rent you chairs for a small donation. Your neighbor might have a garden you can take photos in front of. Grandma might have a ring she wants to pass down. Just keep your head up. It will all come together! Get the Weiss wedding planning book. I got so much value out of it! Good luck with your planning!

We waited 15 years to do it so that way we didn't have to reduce/settle etc... lol
There is no way we could have done it when we were in our early 20s. Right out of high school, we were on our own and by 20 had our 1st daughter.

Unfortanely, a realistic budget has to come before the guest list. If you don’t sit down and think about how much you can spend there’s no way of knowing how many people you can host (especially on the east coast where things are crazy expensive). I’d start with a comfortable and realistic budget, then rebuild the guest list based on how much you and your partner really want people there, not out of familial obligation. You could start with immediate family and best friends, and make groups from there. Once you find more information on pricing and if you can afford it, you could add these groups but its probably easier to start with a core list first. Like other people said, smaller and unconventional may be your best bet. There’s absolutely nothing “wrong” with having an intimate wedding, and something it’s out of necessity rather than desire. Personally, I’d rather have a smaller wedding than carry around loan debt for years.

We are paying for our wedding 100 percent ourselves and are in the process of buying a house as well! While we had our own savings prior to the wedding, we decided not to touch that money for the wedding. As soon as we got engaged, we started a joint savings account and transitioned to pouring any and all extra money into there instead of personal savings (while still contributing a little to our personal savings). We’ve cut back on a lot of every day spending and we are just trying to stay focused. That being said, it is still so expensive. We are in NY so probably quite comparable to what you’re dealing with in NJ. We searched for an all inclusive venue (including all vendors) and that has saved us tons, since vendors add up way too much in pricey regions! We have also just stayed focused on what we really need and try not to buy into all the wedding extras!

If your families cannot chip in, I would cut the guest list regardless if some of the guests are friends of the family. I would possibly look into doing as much DIY as you possibly could, and buy bulk flowers from Sam's Club, and look into doing a fun food option for your reception like pastas.

You could have a small civil ceremony and have dinner with family afterwards. Then you could save up if you wanted to do a larger ceremony or vow renewal down the line.

We are only getting about 10,000 from our two sides of parents and it is looking like our venue is just under 20,000 with the amount of guests. I keep urging FH he needs to cut down his list cuz hes taking a chance on if they will say they can come or not. I have been diligently trying to find the cheapest possible for things like dj and cake, while not skimming too hard on flowers and photographer. We are getting married next October. I start student loans in december and will be paying the bare minimum on that for the time being. I wanted all the pieces for the actual wedding to be close to 20,000 without my dress, boots, hair/makeup. It is possible for us to save up this amount but I am looking to get a different job so my income is more matched to my degree level.

We're paying for our own wedding. $5,000 budget. We went over by like...$200 I think. And only because of unexpected dress alterations.

We're ordering pizza for about 60 people. Bringing in our own alcohol (beer and wine only) and having a bartender serve it ($300).

Our venue is for ceremony and reception in a local art gallery that is STUNNING ($1,500).

No DJ. Using a laptop and a friend.

Friend officiating.

Dress from David's Bridal.

Flowers form Hobby Lobby.

Invites on Shutterfly with a coupon.

Small bridal party (2 on each side) and they're doing their own hair and makeup. A friend is doing mine for free, although I'm going to tip her.

Photographer was our only "splurge" and it was $1,200 on bridal show special.

You can do this!!!! Especially over a long engagement. You have time! Just budget when you are going to pay for things

Hello,

Honestly I feel the same way I broke down on Saturday to my fiance after looking at the venue. It will only be me and him paying, we support majority of my parents finances my mother is sick and I take care of her and she moved into our home with my father who does not make much. SAVE!! Our biggest thing, is our wedding will cost nearly 18k+ by the time it rolls around in Feb 2020. That seems impossible now however please do not panic as I realize I did. We cut our guest list in half from 250 to now 130 and if I can do lower I will, that is less money we realized who really is there for us and supports us and is in our lives and realize they should be the ones at the wedding. That cut off alot of money for us. We also are searching for the most affordable vendors and referrals that are lot less in money. We are going to do most of our own decor and go to downtown LA for the decor it is a bargain score! I say after you get your venue, find the most affordable vendors and pay off slowly every 2 weeks or every check you get so by the time the year ends all vendors are done. That way you worry about the venue, slowly save..even if it is hard to do so. Cut off some things you want in the wedding if you can or make changes if you can. SEARCH EVERYWHERE for different options, find referrals for vendors when I say search, search you could be paying half of what it really is.

Cut out as many plus-ones as you can! We are planning ours in just under 10 months and were able to cut the list from 115 to 102 just by allowing random people to bring a date. All bridal party members get dates but, other than that, if they are not married/living together/engaged/in a serious relationship, then sorry- we just don't have room for them! Most people are understanding of that

We are in a similar situation so we decided to postpone and tackle debt faster. We are paying off our credit cards and loans as fast as possible and figuring out the most realistic budget. Once we are able to save 30-50% of our estimated budget, we will move forward with the planning stage. If you aren't able to make that work with you timeline or aren't wanting to postpone the date and you aren't able to get financial support from family and loved ones, I would look into a more reserved ceremony option. You could do a brunch, hi-tea, cocktail reception, some food options are generally less expensive like Italian or BBQ, or you could do a small wedding by narrowing it down to just immediate family and closest friends.

My fiancé and I are paying for our wedding ourselves. I just graduated from college so I hear you with the student loans.
One option you can consider is a intimate destination wedding. My fiancé and I are having a big wedding. We’re paying for things with only extra income on a 1.5 year time frame. Which means working a second job, renting our home basement, Tax returns, any odd jobs. You have to look for something that you can gain an extra income.

Change your expectations & get everybody to pitch in doing something. You can have it in your house & backyard or at a friend’s place. Don’t be afraid to buy secondhand or get creative & crazy!

My 1st marriage was right after college graduation and we had no money. We did everything ourselves. I made my wedding dress. My mother partially made the bridesmaid dresses, then they were responsible for finishing. Mom made silk flowers. We kept the decorations very simple. My aunts made finger food & my MIL made our wedding cake. One friend was the officiant, another played the music, & another sang. We didn’t have a band or dj, just played recorded music, talked & hung out. Our friends played a few tricks on us. It was held at the friend of a friend’s church & the reception in their fellowship hall. It wasn’t fancy but everyone had a nice time & we had no debt.

Don't let people tell you how & what you have to do/have.

We are renewing our Vows at church and then taking the reception to a forest preserve shelter.(picture attached) we are renting round tables and White garden chairs( I don’t like picnic tables cost around $350) our guest list is 70(shelter holds 300) and we are having Mexican and Puerto Rican food as that is what we eat(buffet style no servers) It will cost around $1000 for food and alcohol will be around $600 estimated.

When all is set and done it will be around $9,000 and our budget is $10,000.

Remember that the most important things is getting married to the man you love and to have the family celebrate your love.

View Quoted Comment This is nice. Where is this?

View Quoted Comment This is in Illinois.

We cut ours down to 20. We don’t need a DJ, hair/makeup, etc.. look at the articles on here about how to do a wedding on a budget. They have 5k, 10k, etc.. y’all have to look at what’s most important to y’all. Stay focused on the end game of saying I Do, not all these things that are a want for one hour of your life.

I understand what you're going through. Me, my mom, and my fiancé are paying for everything so far. He's against asking his own family and my father is just a bit complicated. I would recommend postponing the wedding and saving some money. If not, look to see what you can diy and find cheaper venues, vendors, etc. If you have any friends or family who can help out, I'd accept the help. I hope everything works out for you!

I'm in the same boat. We have rent, 5 kids, bills, credit cards, student loans. Im in school full time, working full time as is my fiance. I hinestly have been starting to buy things slowly now. I stsrted on wish as they have quite a few items I like for the wedding, aliexpress for bridesmaid dresses and flower girl dresses. My wedding dress too. Oeriental trading for items and decorations, afloral for my flowers. Lots of price shopping honestly. I set a budget for each month on wedding stuff