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Amanda
Beginner June 2020

How Can Anyone Afford This!?

Amanda, on October 30, 2018 at 5:07 PM

Posted in Planning 70

Im losing hope. Idk how we can afford this within 1.5 years time with student loans and credit card bills out to wazoo.. any tips?! Both of us may need 2 jobs and that'll barely be cutting it.
Im losing hope. Idk how we can afford this within 1.5 years time with student loans and credit card bills out to wazoo.. any tips?! Both of us may need 2 jobs and that'll barely be cutting it.

70 Comments

  • Mrs.Whooooo
    Master May 2017
    Mrs.Whooooo ·
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    Rather than “cutting”people... try this instead.

    Start a new list.
    add yourself and your SO
    add parents siblings and grandparents.
    if you have the budget for more then you can keep adding people you CANNOT imagine not spending that day with. Close friends, aunts, uncles, cousins etc. but only those you can afford. It’s not worth going into even more debt over one day. So if that means you and your SO, parents siblings and grandparents, that’s ok too.
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  • FutureStephD
    Super March 2019
    FutureStephD ·
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    PP's were trying to say that you can cut the list to you, FH, parents, siblings. Depending on your family size that's anywhere from six people to IDK 30 (people are going to laugh at me for that... just thinking both parents divorced and remarried, plus five kids each x spouses).

    It sounds like you don't want to do that but it's an option!

    Other options are elope, or all-inclusive resort/ DW.

    That said, it's expensive, and annoying, and I feel like the moment you say "wedding" the price doubles. We're older and have been saving for quite a bit, and we did get help from our parents. That said, I really wanted to elope anyways (my parents even offered us money to elope so they didn't pay allll of what they said they would for a wedding), but FH didn't want to.

    You'll figure it out. Just budget budget budget, cut, DIY. Good luck!

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  • A
    Dedicated November 2018
    Alma ·
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    You should have something small rather than not have anything at all. I too am drowning in credit card debt, student loan, and other bills so I know in my right mind that having a huge wedding is NOT an option. We found a venue that had a "Ceremony only" option for $600 for up to 150 guests so I will still get to wear a dress and walk down the aisle then take pictures with my family at the same location. Our reception will be at a restaurant that has a private party room and we can take cake, have a DJ, etc.. I am happy with this decision because even though it's something small, at the end of the day I will be glad I didn't get an outrageous loan to pay for a huge wedding. You can still have a wedding party but just know if it's not in your budget you will have to settle for something that works with your budget. Don't get yourself into more debt for the wedding, trust me, there's plenty more options like a backyard wedding, or restaurant reception. Good Luck!

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  • earias
    Champion December 2017
    earias ·
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    Many of us had to make serious cuts to our guest list. We only had immediate family and closest friends. Period. No aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. We had 40 guests. It can be done but you need to be serious and firm about your list. 162 is a large guest list. Start by removing at least 100 people. We paid for everything ourselves so I get it.

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  • Courtney
    Dedicated August 2019
    Courtney ·
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    Those were my exact thoughts until we decided to elope... so worth it, much cheaper and less stressful... and we aren’t going to be in debt. If you want to still have your wedding, reevaluate wants and needs and what is more important, location, venue, food, guest, etc
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  • Courtney
    Super December 2018
    Courtney ·
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    When we finally get married, we will have been together for 7 years, engaged for 3. We had a long engagement for several reasons (new jobs, move, other new job, etc) but it allowed us to purchase slowly in order to get just what we wanted.

    #1- Cut the guest list. If you haven't talked to Aunt Ida in the past year, cut her off the list. You really need to be ruthless if you want this to work.

    #2- DIY everything that it **MAKES SENSE** to DIY. Meaning check prices and look for sales. Take into consideration that you need supplies and space for many DIY items.

    #3- Have the wedding at an off-time. Depending on where you are, a winter wedding, a Thursday night wedding or even a wedding in the morning (brunch reception) or afternoon (lunch reception) may work best.

    #4 - You can always do just cake and punch afterward as long as you plan the ceremony at the right time. A 2-4 p.m. Ceremony/Reception would be OK with just cake and punch.

    #5- Bargain hunt on Facebook Marketplace, Amazon, local wedding groups, etc.

    #6- If you have a good size backyard, you can always just do an "I Do BBQ" -- you'd probably cut out the venue rental cost, but you'd have to bring in a caterer and maybe some portable bathrooms.

    #7- Have it at a local park. I love the picnic wedding idea. There are some truly LOVELY ideas on Pinterest. Bring in the caterer, have it in a pavilion near the restrooms and you're done.

    Picnic idea 1 How Can Anyone Afford This!? 1Picnic idea 2 How Can Anyone Afford This!? 2

    Picnic idea 3 How Can Anyone Afford This!? 3


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  • PurdyAikey
    Super January 2019
    PurdyAikey ·
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    I like the work outward strategy instead of cutting.... Sometimes if you add a group at time in it will make it easier. You and FH are going to have to make tough choices... Essential people You + FH.. work out from there...

    Parents... Grand Parents... Aunts/Uncles [Mom side] then Aunts/Uncles of FH [Mom side], Aunts/Uncles [Dad Side], Aunts/Uncles [FH Dads Side] ... That is how we group people and we made it to Cousins from both our Mom's sides, but not our dad because we don't really know them. Also consider adult only to avoid extra mouths!
    With friends do this: 1) Talked to this week and ABSOLUTELY CAN'T SEE NOT BEING THERE, 2) talked to this month, 3) talked to this year... Start truly thinking about who you spend time with.


    Also have you weighed the pros and cons of big vs small wedding? A small wedding you can spend more quality time with each guest. At a large wedding you may not get to spend time with everyone, so it won't matter if they are there or not...


    Whatever you do don't plan for more people than you can afford. That is not fair to your guests, but that is also going to make wedding planing/budgeting super stressful.

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  • starsinwaves
    VIP November 2018
    starsinwaves ·
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    Like PP said, cut your guest list.

    Also, look for an empty space you can rent where you can bring in your own catering and alcohol instead of traditional wedding venues. I'm in NJ too and traditional venues are insanely expensive. This will be more work but can easily save thousands. And consider getting married on a Friday or Sunday and/or in the offseason.

    Don't make your guests sit on the ground.

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  • K
    Expert September 2021
    Ka-Rina ·
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    Which part of nj? I'm finding really cool loft spaces (kolo club in Hoboken or art factory in Paterson) that will provide the space and cater an event for under $100! Of course it wouldn't b the usual type of wedding but thats what im doing. We are paying ourselves (house, 2 kids and student loans) so our budget for venue was $7k and we have under 75 ppl. Any decent wedding hall would be double that in this part of the country.
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  • Jordan
    Dedicated June 2019
    Jordan ·
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    People just go into more debt. If you can't afford it, you shouldn't do it, regardless of how much you want it. Wouldn't it be a better start to a future to get two jobs and then hustle down the loans and credit card debt? Have a small ceremony at the courthouse and then when your debts are paid off, have a massive blow-out renewal party.

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  • Farrah
    Devoted September 2019
    Farrah ·
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    We are paying for our wedding ourselfs. 21 & 22 yrs old with a 4 year old daughter. It's tough. We got engaged in July 2017 and are getting married in September 2019 with around a 160 people guest list. I took money out of my taxes this year and we plan to take most of our taxes next year to hopefully pay for the majority. Good luck and happy planning!
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  • Mcskipper
    Rockstar July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
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    We planned the wedding we could afford with what we had and could save by our desired date (pushing the date back to save more was always an option.

    Budget came FIRST and determined everything. Budget determined our guestlist. A previous poster’s advice to work up to create a guestlist versus cutting down is a great and helpful idea. When we were first planning and figuring things out, our list of names or people we’d like to invite was way different than who ended up on our ultimate guestlist. There were plenty of people who I would’ve loved to have had there (and then some people that other people would have loved if we had included), but, it just wasn’t what we could afford.

    We made a list of the things that were most important to us, and then sacrificed on the things that weren’t (cake [skipped], flowers [ordered wholesale and DIYed, and went minimal — only bridal party members had flowers], photography [we’re not big picture people but we knew we’d want SOME adorable the memories — and our parents— so we negotiated a partial day package with a photographer, and skipped reception photos). So, some parts are a matter of figuring out your priorities and focusing your spending wisely. We cared about throwing an awesome party, so food, drink, music and guest comfort got all the money. Decor and frills did not.

    But realistically, budget was all in the guestlist. Every decor cut savings is super minimal compared to the dollars saved or spent per person. Fewer guests is the most direct correlation between fewer dollars spent. At a certain point we realized we wanted quality over quantity. Instead of squeezing every single member of our families in and stretching everything thin to accommodate, we really prioritized people we were closest too. There’s a whole section of family and group of friends we chose not to invite for this reason— we’d love to have had them, but it didn’t ruin our day (or theirs, quite frankly) to not. And we were probably ALL better off, because to have had the few more there, we would have had to have compromised something else, across the board (less booze or less apps or something). Most people can understand that their are limitations as to who can be invited to the party. A close step aunt&uncle didn’t make the cut for me. I adore them, but the invites were a slippery slope with that side of the family, and then, I haven’t seen them in years anyway— my wedding was not a family reunion, and it occurred to me that if I want to catch up (and I do), finding a separate time to see them independently is even better than a fly by at my wedding! ANYWAY point is, they were super supportive and not begrudging that they didn’t make the guestlist— instead they sent me a message that they were raising a glass in our honor ☺️
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  • Emily Plush
    Dedicated May 2019
    Emily Plush ·
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    I’m doing my own makeup and hair and having my girls do their own too. That’ll cut costs down. My fiancé wants me to look more natural on our wedding day than all dolled up
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  • BrandiWeds18
    VIP May 2019
    BrandiWeds18 ·
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    Exactly. We knew our per person amount and once we got to the number we wanted to pay for we stopped! My FH has a huge family but we have to make cuts so some of those aunts and uncles will NOT be invited they will understand we are having a smaller wedding. If you cannot cut them you need to work really hard to find a cheaper venue or wait until you have more money saved. Your guestlist is what creates the large total, outside of the vendors. You limit it you lower the amount you are indebted to pay. If we don't have a personal relationship or wouldn't pay $100 for their plate at a regular dinner they weren't invited. We also didn't invite people because we felt we needed to for any easy. We are paying alone so i couldn't invite anyone solely based on another family member saying they needed to be invited.

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  • M
    Dedicated June 2019
    Mariah ·
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    I would cut out unnecessary vendors. Do you really need a DJ? Could you possibly do your own hair or makeup? I'm doing my own hair, but having my makeup done. Our venue has a sound system set up so we can just plug in a laptop or iPod and my little brother is going to be in charge of playing a playlist for each section of the reception. Instead of traditional flowers I am renting silk flowers through an online company called Something Borrowed Blooms. it is significantly cheaper for something that I would otherwise just throw away after the wedding. Check out their website! We are not doing wedding favors. I am printing my Save the Dates through Costco ($86 for 125). We're not having menus or programs printed because only a few people will even look at them and nobody will keep them (except maybe parents). I used our engagement photos and put together a guest book for $45 on Amazon Prints. There are plenty of money saving hacks. I think the only thing we paid "full price" for is the venue and the photographer.

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  • Kayla
    September 2020
    Kayla ·
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    I felt the same exact way!! Seeing people here with $30,000 dollar weddings when we could barely afford $3,000 made me slightly emotional but for me it was all about priority. I didnt want to max our credit cards. We didn’t have family that could help a ton. But we also planned our wedding in 10 months. Had we planned longer we could’ve afforded more but neither of us wanted to. We were cut throat with our guest list! We did our own decorating and did a lot of DIY things from our flowers to our favors. My cousin officiated our wedding for free!! That helped a lot!! And my Wife got her attire off of Amazon and it was amazing!! Think outside the box as much as you can. Don’t get discouraged and remember your wedding is one day but your marriage is for a lifetime!
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  • Stephanie
    Super June 2019
    Stephanie ·
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    FH and I are paying for it all ourselves, I was just changed to working 35 hours a week from 28, he was laid off in the process and now has another full-time job however he took a small pay cut, he lives on his own and also has a car payment among other debts and I have a student loan, etc. I live at home with my sister so right now I'm carrying the weight of small bills and most wedding purchases. We took out a small personal loan from discover to pay off our debts from when he lost his job and we try to save from each check to use current cash versus our credit cards if it doesn't have to be a major purchase. It is extremely hard but cutting corners, doing DIYs, purchasing items on clearance, 50% off and coupons have helped a whole lot! I have spent so far less than $2,000 towards our wedding and I have many items off our list checked off. Hobby lobby, Wish and Amazon have been my best friend.
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  • Alejandra
    Super March 2019
    Alejandra ·
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    Amanda, I hope you're doing well! My FH and I will have been engaged for about 15 months We've paid for everything ourselves, we both have bills and school loans that we're dealing with. With a guest-list of 162 people I don't see it becoming any easier to pull this off. You need too be extremely realistic about your guest-list and your budget. Push your wedding back to save the right amount of money, cut your guest-list by like half and really think about the day you want. It seems like you want to have an over the top wedding, considering that I am from Cali (one of the pricier states to plan a wedding) you def can make things happen but for 162 people and budgeting restrictions as you mentioned it seems very limiting and I don't think you want to be limited for your own wedding celebration.

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  • K
    Expert September 2019
    K.glass ·
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    We are not having a DJ, or hair and make up. We will just be doing it oursleves, all of our decorations will be DIY, all flowers will be DIY, our photographer we found on fb, and our baker we found on fb. My dress we will be ordering. Flower girl dresses will be hand made, bm dresses will be bought after prom sales, same w guys wear, or goodwill. We are doing a taco bar for food, our wedding will be at our church and the reception woll be at a park. We have 3 teenagers and bills, so we r cutting costs everywhere we can, our guest list is at abt 175 mostly family (i have 13 aunts/uncles) so of the guest list it is mainly family. I am a part of a local home ec club that i am going to talk to about helping woth the food and keeping stuff full, i will eother pay them or make a donation to the club. I know must of this goes against the thoughts of most ppl here but it is wat we can afford, we also are not doing a DOC, STD, or wedding favors. Our budget is 5-6k. You could always look at town parks and places for ur ceremony or reception, they cld b free. Also if you know someone woth a big enough backyard that would let u use it for one or the other that could be an option also.
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  • Denise
    Devoted May 2019
    Denise ·
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    What about a part time job? Could you wait tables a couple times a week? Do you have skills you turn into a free lance gig?


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