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Jessica
Savvy October 2023

How are you saving money?

Jessica, on January 1, 2023 at 5:05 PM

Posted in Planning 45

This is primarily for the couples who, like us, are paying for the entire wedding themselves. I need advice and ideas, pretty please! My partner and I live in NYC, so there's no way in heck we were going to drop literal tens of thousands of dollars for one day. That's insanity, and we can't afford...
This is primarily for the couples who, like us, are paying for the entire wedding themselves. I need advice and ideas, pretty please!


My partner and I live in NYC, so there's no way in heck we were going to drop literal tens of thousands of dollars for one day. That's insanity, and we can't afford that.
So, we found a venue a ways away that's far more affordable and is mostly inclusive (food, decorations, etc are baked into the cost). That said, we're doing the math now, and we're currently looking at spending close to $27,000 for the entire event. 🙃 The goal was to stick to $15,000!
So, some background information. We do not have anyone in our circles that owns enough land or space for us to just use their area for the event. We already have cut our guest list to 60 people max. I'm trying to get it down to fifty, but the fiance has a larger family than I do, so it's a little difficult.
I already bought my dress--a sample sale for $350. My fiance is planning to rent a suit.
I've suggested we consider a full cash bar. We had originally discussed doing an open bar but only with wine and beer. I've also suggested we do like a Costco cake or something similar. Literally nobody is going to remember the cake, and I just want it to taste good lol. We're not doing a huge afterparty or rehearsal dinner. We might do something informal for both of those where everyone pays for themselves if they want to attend. Frustratingly, out floral vendor has a minimum of $2,500 for us to hit, so I'm trying to get us to right around that number so we're not spending any more.
The DJ was relatively affordable at around $1,400ish. The photographer is only going to be there for about three hours because we really aren't people who care about having a wedding photo album. We're likely never going to look at all of the photos after the event anyway.
For decorations, I'm probably going to DIY as much as I can with the help of my amazing bridesmaids. They're far better at crafts and are much more artistically inclined than me. One bridesmaid has also very generously offered to do my makeup for me, so that's one less expense.
But outside of that, I have no idea where else we can cut costs. It's gotten to the point where my fiance has said he needs to think about if he's willing and able to spend this much money for an event that'll last only a day. I don't blame him at all; I just wish he had decided this before we put down deposits on our vendors.
So what are ways you guys are cutting costs? How do you think we can make this more affordable?
Please no unhelpful comments like, "weddings are always expensive," or "have your family help pay." We don't all have the luxury of having family that can help, and we don't all have the ability to fork out thousands of dollars for one day, regardless of what the day may be.

45 Comments

  • Irene
    Just Said Yes December 2024
    Irene ·
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    My fiancé and I are having the same issue and we’re in Florida! Being from NY though, I’d say the fact your costs are coming to $27,000 is on the lower end, especially for NYC.


    It really depends on what’s most important to you both. If venue is your number 1, then expect to cheap out on the other vendors. Weigh the pros and cons of going cheaper for specific vendors. For example, if we have to cut anything, I plan on doing fake nails and my own makeup, plus my fiancé would do his own beard. We’d also go cheaper by doing fake flowers. We’re also looking into venues that are inclusive with DJ, Catering, Decor, and Cake. We are just at our budget by doing an inclusive wedding. But if you are okay with not really doing a wedding, courthouse is the best option and doing a lunch or dinner afterwards. We aren’t doing this because I really want to have the special day and feel a courthouse is too simple. So we are both working more to compensate the higher wedding cost. Our budget is $25,000 and that’s if we didn’t both get second jobs, we could afford that.
    Again, it depends on what you’re willing to do and go through to have the day you want without being in debt afterwards!
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  • E
    Devoted February 2023
    Elycia ·
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    I'm with everyone on the cash bar situation. At the very least offer a free keg of something or do hosted beer and wine and have liquor be cash. If youre going to do cash, please please PLEASE put it on an insert in the invitation. I have found so many times where i've ended up at a wedding without any cash on me or didnt expect to be paying for things and then couldnt enjoy a couple drinks with friends because i didnt expect to be paying.

    We're paying for our wedding completely on our own as well. Im in my 20s, have school debt, all the same excuses you gave and we still managed an open bar because its the kind thing to do for your guests.
    As far as further saving money its really hard to determine because we dont know where all that additional cost is coming from. Is it venue price? Are you footing the bill for groomsmen suits or bridesmaid dresses? Do you have to travel? Are you including a rehearsal dinner in that? IDK how you got to 27k from the prices you listed unless your catering cost is super high.

    We're planning a wedding for about 85 people, doing full open bar and ending up around 20k including the rehearsal dinner. Our biggest costs are catering, photography, and venue. Alcohol is actually fairly low on the list.

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  • Anna
    Beginner July 2027
    Anna ·
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    Wow I have a bank account 1.9 billion dollars

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  • H
    Just Said Yes June 2023
    Hay ·
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    Newly engaged and just starting research before really beginning the planning process. I have a question about your brunch/lunch reception comment. Does this mean you’d have a morning ceremony? I’m a more light and bright day time party person I love the idea of a beautiful garden brunch vibe however I worry about asking people to come for a morning ceremony. What kind of times sound good?
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  • E
    Just Said Yes August 2023
    Emily ·
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    Rather than trying to cut more costs is there ways you and your fiancé could try to make a few more bucks to feel better about spending the money? I used to live in nyc and would often pick up babysitting gigs, walk a dog, house/dog sit…just a thought. Good luck with everything! I’m also shocked at the cost of open bar. If you feel like cash bar is best and you write it on the invitation people will come prepared. I disagree with a lot of the comments on here about that being so rude and a bad host. If it was my friend or my family member I’d have no problem paying for my drinks at the their wedding.
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  • Jm Sunshine
    Jm Sunshine ·
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    Hi Halie,
    My daughter's wedding ceremony started at 11:00 am. (about 20-25 min long). Guests started arriving at 10:30 am at venue, so there was a gourmet coffee/tea cart available before (and after the ceremony before brunch reception). Most guests were local and those who did travel stayed in hotel near venue. Both ceremony and reception (tented) were outdoors in a lovely garden setting with a violinist/cellist who played before/during ceremony and reception--then dj kicked in after that. It was especially nice that it ended by 4:00 so that us older people could go home and still have evening to relax while bridal party and friends then rented a party bus for a night in the city.
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  • H
    Just Said Yes June 2023
    Hay ·
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    That sounds so beautiful and best of both worlds! Thank you for sharing with me; I am adding this to the list of possibilities Smiley smile
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  • V
    Rockstar July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    If you have large bridal party, I would encourage you to think about how early you will have to get up for hair and makeup and getting ready if you have a brunch wedding.
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  • Paige
    VIP October 2022
    Paige ·
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    I'd opt for a dry wedding over a cash bar. Not sure if bar service is included in your all inclusive venue, but maybe they'd be willing to lower the price if there isn't the need for a bartender and alcohol. The liability is also lower if there isn't alcohol on the premises. Might be worth asking your venue about that.

    If you haven't paid a non-refundable deposit for your florist, I'd cut that and just have a local grocery store put together a bouquet and boutonniere for you and your fiancé (or whatever "must have" florals you're after). Silk flowers are an option, but they're not always cheaper. I haven't looked into rental flowers, but those might be a cost-effective move.

    I'd also try to find "regular" items vs "wedding" items. For example, "wedding shoes" tend to be marked at a higher price vs "regular shoes" simply because they're going to be used for a special day.

    On the other end, try to take a look at your non-wedding budget and see if there's anywhere you can cut costs. That could be things like hair appointments, eating out, groceries, etc. You could also try to pick up gigs with Rover, Uber, or other places that hire on a part-time/ temporary basis.

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  • H
    Just Said Yes June 2023
    Hay ·
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    Absolutely, we’re just playing with ideas for now.
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  • Dorian
    Just Said Yes December 2023
    Dorian ·
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    Oh… I definitely know the feeling of having to foot the bill yourself. Surprisingly, I was able to get my dress on Amazon ($80) with his suit that he is going to wear. (3 piece $60) A lot of what I have been doing is getting my decorations once they go on sale. My main colors is somewhat a Christmas color so I've been able to go to a lot of places to get decorations on sale. I decided not to do a cake for everybody, I just decided to do a personal cake for us. We don't drink so we will definitely be having a dry wedding with Welch's White Grape Sparkling Drink. I would also suggest possibly not having as many Braidesmaids and Groomsmen (if possible) I would say if you can't get around that then possibly do a potluck for the rehearsal dinner to try to cut costs with that. Most of my decorations I'm going to be making myself. I've gotten a lot of my artificial flowers from the Dollar Tree that I'm going to be using for my centerpieces.
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  • A
    Just Said Yes November 2023
    Angelina ·
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    Yeah I’m planning my wedding too! I’m in south Texas. I think I’ll be spending about $15000 total for 100 people. I do have my dad helping me a lot but damn everything adds up sooo quick!! And these wedding planners want $1000+ just to be the day of coordinator. That’s $125/hr. I need to switch careers. Nursing just ain’t it! 🤣🤣


    So I’m cutting out decorations beside the bare minimum. We have our main table, something for the sign in table and our ceremony arch! NOONE except you will remember the decorations! Haha!!
    I’m sooo surprised people are so offended that you wanna do a cash bar. I’m definitely doing a cash bar. I never even knew it was frowned upon! They are getting free food! Now if they had to pay for their food on wedding day that’s a different story! 😂. I’m also opting out of the rehearsal dinner. 🤷🏽‍♀️. I’m doing my wedding on a Sunday cause the venue was $3000 cheaper for that day. My friends are doing my hair and makeup, I’m only getting a videographer. Our friend is a DJ so he is gonna DJ for us. $1400 for a DJ is a lot. Is he providing any type of decorations as well? Like lighting and trusts?
    • Reply
  • M
    Just Said Yes October 2023
    Melanie ·
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    My fiancé and I are paying for our wedding as well. We are blessed to have limited help from our parents about $2500 total. We have two kids (one from my prior marriage and one together) and my fiancé is in grad school, so we have a very tight budget. We are fortunate that we are not near NYC, so our costs aren’t as inflated. I feel your pain at trying to keep costs down. This is a second marriage for us both, so we are making conscious choices for everything. My first wedding was the big expensive day and I regret lots of parts of it (not just because the marriage ended). I am trying to apply everything I feel like I learned the first time around to not make the same mistakes this time.


    We have elected to not serve any alcohol (my fiancé doesn’t drink and I will still be breastfeeding). If we had served alcohol, we were going to limit the bar to open beer/wine during cocktail hour and dinner only. We would have considered a cash bar, but our venue won’t allow it. As long as everyone is aware that there is a cash bar beforehand, I don’t see any issue with it, but check with your venue first to see if it is permitted because there are tight regulations on the “sale” of alcohol. Also, check to see if you can bring in your own alcohol to be served and go to Costco to buy it. It can save a ton of money.
    We chose to go with Sola Wood flowers. They are cheaper and more eco-friendly than fresh. Solawoodflowers.com has DIY kits or they can make it for you for slightly more. Oh! You’re Lovely is another good source and I believe they have kits too. We are dying and making all our own arrangements. We are also DIYing all our decor. All told, I believe flowers/decor combined are under $1500.
    If you still want the look of a cake, get a small cake for cutting and then go with the Costco sheet cake for serving. We are getting a small cake for us and the kids and then having cupcakes for the guests (we have several who are keto, GF, and/or sugar free, so they give us more flexibility).
    Rather than giving favors that get thrown in a drawer/out, we are making a donation to one of our favorite charities in honor of our guests. It also saves money because we decide the exact amount and it gives us a tax deduction.
    We saved a ton of money on our stationary by getting a suite on Etsy (I recommend rosdigitaldesign), editing it ourselves, and then printing it on CatPrint.com. It was a fraction of the cost for all our paper works.
    It is hard to save in inclusive venues, look at the food options carefully. Go with chicken/vegetarian meals as they tend to be less costly. Also a buffet tends to be less expensive than plated service.
    I wish you the best of luck.
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  • M
    Just Said Yes October 2023
    Melanie ·
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    I forgot to mention that all our decor will be reusable after the wedding (flowers included).
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  • N
    Just Said Yes April 2023
    Natalie ·
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    My guy and I are in the same boat. Expenses just keep piling up for things. The florist was so much more than we ever expected, especially for as little as we are doing. That is something I wish we had done on our own instead. Trader Joe’s has really inexpensive greenery and flowers that can be done at a few hundred dollars. We didn’t know the decor wasn’t included in our all-inclusive package and that’s been a little bit of a spender. Although party city and the dollar tree has really saved the day. I recommend for your invites using Truly Engaging. I spent less than $150 on 80 invites which included personalized envelopes and RSVP cards. For the groomsman attire we went through a place here in CA that does rentals for about $230 each for almost everything included (Suit, pants, shoes, tie). And they do alterations on the pant length and sleeves.
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  • Ivory
    Just Said Yes August 2023
    Ivory ·
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    My sister did fake flowers and all the bouquets and everything look wonderful in the pictures and she has a keepsake. My friend bought her flowers and greenery in bulk through Costco and that worked out very well too. Both options cut costs a ton rather than getting a florist.. Also my friend did a potluck for her wedding because who cares right? Her and her husband and immediate family just determined who would be in charge of cooking specific dishes so that way they'd have some guarantees for types of food.
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  • Naomi
    Just Said Yes June 2023
    Naomi ·
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    I totally agree with your sentiments on the cash bar. Weddings are expensive, if people like alcohol so much then I don't see what is wrong with having a cash bar. The food is paid for and you are there to celebrate the couple, not to get drunk.

    Also I have to say everyone is entitled to their own opinion for sure but Jessica's post clearly said keep your opinions to yourself. Her decision is already to have a cash bar so, are your opinions about how rude that is supposed to help her ? What's the point of those opinions when she asked for you to keep them to yourself? You're not invited to her wedding so why are you so offended? How about you have your open bar and keep it pushing and don't judge cash bars just because that's not something you want. Everyone is going through LIFE, ok? And it's all in the middle of planning our weddings which is one day . One . It's stressful. The last concern I personally have is if you think it was rude you had to spend $10 for your alcoholic beverage that you didn't need to have but you wanted it....and on this one day it wasn't free at this wedding.

    Anyways Jessica, I can relate to your situation because we have similar budgets. Our venue allows us to put a certain amount down for alcohol and then the bar will go to cash so we are putting $500 down for alcohol.. We have a 15000 budget as well and are paying for everything and things are heading upward of 20,000$ so far . Stress girl. I agree with another comment to not worry about extra decorations if your venue covers them. This is something our venue offers as well and we are taking advantage of that.

    Happy planning, I really hope it works out for you guys the best way possible.

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  • R
    Just Said Yes December 2024
    Rebecca ·
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    Hi there! I've too found that florists are soo expensive! My fiancé and I are in a similar situation, both in our twenties, we both work full time, and I'm still a college student with accumulating student loan debts, trying to plan and budget a wedding being paid for completely by ourselves. One thing that I found is saving a ton of money is trying to cut out the florist as much as possible... amazon has a TON of beautiful artificial flowers. I've been planning to make my own center pieces, bouquets, etc. with artificial, and then if anyone wants to take something home at the end of the day as a keep sake, they can and it'll last forever! I hope this helps, and I wish you nothing but the best of luck!

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  • S
    Just Said Yes June 2023
    SH ·
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    Here are a few ideas. I think most couples struggle with where to cut expenses. Some vendors/venues will let you try and sell the deposit/date. Check with the vendor first.

    I wish you the very best!

    - Join local Facebook wedding groups - This is where I have seen the deposits /dates being sold with the vendors permission. I have also purchased a lot of cylinder vases from a couple different groups.

    - Create a free e-mailed invitation and send up to 50 free. There are premium options that cost but can be done for free. https://www.paperlesspost.com/

    - Depending on your floral deposit try and get out of the contract. There are a lot of rental faux flower companies that are beautiful and look real.

    http://www.somethingborrowedblooms.com

    https://www.weddingflowersforrent.com/

    https://viviangracecreations.com/ - Out of Minnesota. Lots of Options

    https://www.bluegrassbloomsbythebox.com/

    - DJ - May be worth dropping the DJ and losing the deposit. You can have someone put together a nice playlist and most venues have a sound system you can use.

    - Skip the traditional rehearsal dinner.

    - Cake - Cut a small one for the photo op. Have sheet cake cut in the back and brought to the dessert table. This is a very common practice.

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  • Pamela
    Savvy April 2023
    Pamela ·
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    Does the venue require you to use that floral company? If not I would find another option. There were mentions of going with other floral ideas. You can DIY floral too, there are tons of online floral companies that provide cost effective DIY . I almost did that myself. Also, believe it or not COSTCO has a wedding floral bundle. I disagree with having to do an open bar. I am providing cocktail hour and wine on the tables. There are plenty of non-alcoholic options available as well.

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