house funds-wedding

I am not sure if this is polite (I would not do it) but some people simply do not register sending a signal that ahem cash is preferred.

Well, I registered for a few small things for my shower, and at the shower I mentioned to people that we were wanting contributions toward our first home for the wedding because it was brought up I did not register for much, and at the actuall wedding I had a card box set up and everyone eaither gave us a gc, or checks.

A friend of mine did this two years ago. On their wedding website they linked to their paypall account to give money for their home. It was done really nicely with a nice little story about hoping to buy their new home to begin their new life together. They still got some physical gifts but most people did donate. The benefit of registering is for those that insist on buying a physical gift is hopefully you'll know where to return it. We are thinking of doing something like that as well.

Good ideas do you tell everyone that you have a card box....if so do you say that in your invitations?

This is something that I would like to try to do also...but I don't want to seem like a charity case asking for money. One thing my sister did at her wedding was have a money tree by the door and the MC announced it so that ppl could clip money to the leaves etc as they were coming or going. I like that idea too but again...charity case?

@ Silhouette: I think it will only be a charity case if pass around a dish when people are sitting in the pews, or if there's a guy in a Santa Suit ringing a bell. I just read a survey that say 78% of people prefer to give cash. Who likes buying gift? Perhaps asking for cash is the most selfless thing we can do This gives some nice ideas:

http://www.wedaholic.com/archives/the_etiquette_of_asking_for_cash_wedding_gifts.php

On my website I politely stated that we did not need any items for our home because we have lived together for awhile. I said that we strongly suggest that you purchase something from our registry, which is a honeymoon registry. I also said that I except monetary gifts as well. If you go to honeyfund.com you can make any kind of registry that you desire. I hope this helps.

You can go on wishingwell.com and set up a "first home fund" or "down payment on a home fund".. Thats what were doing.

How did you explain that to your family/friends...

Put it on your registry list.. this is how we did ours, but we wanted extra $ to do fun things on the honeymoon.

http://www.mywedding.com/amandacodybruce/registries.html

A few comments for the newer people to the forum. It's considered tacky/rude to outright ask for a gift. With this in mind,you should never have registry info/suggestions/anything referring to gifts on your invitations. Also, I've never heard of a money tree at a reception, and personally consider it tacky/rude. Your guests have already spent time and money to come to your reception (and have already bought you a gift/written you a check) so to have a money tree up as well is ultra-tacky/greedy.

I like Fun Bride's suggestion- don't register for physical items and people will get the hint. If they ask why no registry, then you can politely explain that you are hoping to save for your first home. You can include information on your wedding website, and a link to the site on your invitation, but should never ever make it seem like a gift is expected. On your website, I would have the registry last and say something like "John & I are delighted to have you join us on our wedding day. the

Honor of your presence is gift enough. We are blessed to have everything we need in an household. What we want most, however, is the pleasure of owning our first home". That way it's implied,but not stated. Also have your family/ bridesmaids/groomsmen spread the word that you are saving for your first home discreetly- only if asked about gifts by guests.

Honestly, I would NOT ask for money...no matter what the cause. And NEVER for a down payment on a house! TACKY to the max.

PS....you would be asking many, who do not own a home, to help fund yours? Bad form.

Well, we already have everything for our house, so we put items like a snorkeling trip, horse ride on the beach, massage, breakast in bed, happy hour drinks, etc.. (well the money for it) on the honeymoon wishes list and it has pics, you can also go back and edit it and put your pics from the honeymoon I believe.. so were doing it. Everyone so far thinks its a great idea. Its 2010, times have changed were all not living at home and moving to our house for the first time. I've been on my own for 4 years and weve been buying stuff for our house for 6 months now, so we don't really need anything. I mean we could use a shark vaccum or whatever it is, but asking for a 300$ vaccum is more tacky to me then us having a nice honeymoon, but thats us.

All my family and friends thought it was wonderful, not tacky or rude when they knew we wanted contributions. And also did I never ask for money, it was word of mouth. they all couldent be happier, and now hubby and I are closer to owning our own home.

I know people who have done a money tree with wish tags like were doing where the guests can attach money and wish tags.. and they made $2,000. Also others that have done a money dance and made anywhere from $40-1,000.. just depends on the number of guests and how giving they are. If you're not verbally begging or telling people "did you see the money tree"..its not tacky in my opinion, but thats mine. Everyone has their own.

I like the honeymoon fund idea,as well, especially as Amanda worded it- so your guests know their $ is going towards a romantic, exciting/specific item. sicThe pics afterwards are very thoughtful, as well. Who wouldn't want you to have a nice honeymoon?

Another note, I read somewhere that you should consider registering for a few physical items as some guests are old-fashioned. Maybe just a nice towel set at Macy's? You could then have your honeymoon fund link on your website, or again, have family explain (only when asked) that you have most everything you need for a household.

I agree with registering for a few items - you certainly don't have to do too many but this will give people the option of buying a boxed gift if they prefer that. Also, if you are going to have a shower, you need to have a registry so that people can buy you gifts. You can't really have a shower if don't have a registry (a honeymoon registry wouldn't work for a shower, in my opinion).

Like PP said, NEVER mention anything about gifts on your invitations. Believe me, you would be surprised how fast word about preferring cash will spread via your family and bridal party.

The way I see this whole what's polite or what's rude is it all depends on your family and friends. Main stream society may find it rude but your family and friends may not. I know my family and friends wouldn't find it rude. Remember this is the 21st century not the early 20th century things have changed drastically since then. Do what you feel is right for you?