Horror stories

Parts of this wedding were just--off. The wedding was supposed to start at 1:30--Catholic church about a 40 minute drive from my house. We left the house late and drove like maniacs to make it on time--we arrived at 1:22. The wedding didn't start until 2:10--the bride overslept because she stayed up half the night to make little furry jackets for her BMs because it was December and she thought they might be chilly. By the time the wedding was over, the vestibule of the church was full of members of a youth sports team and their parents and coaches--they were having a special service to wish them luck in their big tournament. My BIL was their photographer and he said the bride was supposed to get to the church at noon for first look photos and bridal party photos but because she wasn't there, all he was able to do after the wedding was about 4 photos of the bridal party at the church.

At the reception, the bride's sister sang a song she wrote for the B&G's first dance--her voice wasn't that great, the song was about 5 minutes long and it was very hard to understand the lyrics because she held the microphone too close to her mouth. People got very bored.

The cookies on her cookie table were some of the worst cookies i have ever eaten. Usually people take home a little plate of cookies---I didn't see one person leaving with cookies.

So, not horrible, just some really "off" things.

I went to potluck wedding last month bc I was so curious how potluck weddings work. It was a disaster!!! I wrote a whole post about it. There was too much food bc almost every guest brought something, no one really ate, they had friendors a try of rice was spilled on a bm, the cake never showed up, it was beer and wine for cocktail hour then transformed to cash bar. It was a big unorganized mess.

I just have bits and pieces of horror stories:

I was the MOH about 4 years ago. The MOB did the dress alterations. She didn't take mine in enough at the top. The back of the dress totally slipped down as I walked down the aisle. Also, the music for the ceremony was a coworker who wanted to sing while her husband played piano. As we waited to walk down the aisle, we couldn't quite hear the music for our "cues" to walk (nor was there a coordinator). So the BM before me, myself, and the bride walked down the aisle to no music. The officiant spoke with a southern twang (not his real voice) and chewed gum the whole time.

About 10 years ago, the guy I was dating's brother got married on the Canadian side of Niagara Falls in "secret." The ceremony was held in some weird public space that smelled like pool chlorine. When the officiant asked the groom if he takes his bride, he came up with "Uhmmm-hmmm." The officiant gently told him to say "I do." For the "public" wedding a few weeks later near their home, when it came to cutting/feeding each other the cake the groom smashed cake in the bride's face so hard, she fell backwards. Not a teeter. Not a stumble. Fell on.her.butt.

Last December I went to a coworkers wedding. The whole way through the ceremony, all I could focus on was her chewing gum. I can't imagine what she did with it when it came time to kiss her bride!

I attended a potluck wedding a few years ago in the basement of the church. The bride and groom contributed partially reheated hamburgers and hotdogs that were made the day before and stuck in a crockpot. The ceremony was (badly) decorated with a roll of that crepe paper party stuff and nothing else. Also the reception had no alcohol or music other than karaoke. Despite the fact that my FH was a gm, we left rather quickly.

Good God Spazzy I've never heard you tell that story but wow.

I have a few annoy wedding stories, but nothing that was over the top terrible:

1. My brother's wedding was outdoors in a garden. The weekend they got married was over 100 and there was no indoor option. No one thought it would be that hot in October.

2. FH cousins wedding was outside in a park. The most annoy part of that was his best man's speech where he cited the entire Fox in Socks Dr. Seuss book from memory. It was so weird.

I was in college, young and stupid, when a friend was married. Dinner was a buffet and catered. The food looked and smelled delicious. She asked a few friends to serve the food. I was one of them. I agreed because, as I said, I was young and stupid. We were told the serving sizes and it was pretty simple to give them a piece of meat or a spoonful of whatever. We ran out of food before all the guests were served. Of course, the servers didn't get any food either. Brides mom gives the servers nasty looks and made several sharp comments about the servers giving out portions that were too large. Ends up, the bride and her mother didn't order enough food for the number of guests. Guess the bride's mom had forgotten that the caterer had left behind a copy of the order paperwork. Easy for me to calculate the number of guests by the number of tables/chairs. Yeah, you don't order for 100 when you have 130 guests attending. Those without food all left.

I went to a wedding on Valentines Day outside in a field.

February in Australia is on average 30-40 Celcius (I think about 100 F).

The ceremony only had 10 chairs for 80 people.

Only 50 of those people were invited to the reception.

There was a THREE HOUR gap between ceremony and reception. FH and I went home and he changed out of his suit and mowed our lawns, most people went to the pub and got absolutely shitfaced though.

When we got to the reception, the air conditioning had died. (See photo... FH's shirt was drenched in sweat)

The venue went and bought portable air conditioners so the guests took turns standing in front of them.

No one wanted to eat/dance/do anything because of the heat. Most people left after the cake cutting.

Oh. Just though of another one. My Dad and Stepmom went to an outdoor barn wedding last weekend. It's been very very hot here in Pennsylvania. They told me that there was no air conditioner or fans in the barn. They said people were leaving right after the meal was served or getting a change of clothes. My Dad said that his shirt was drenched a few hours in. Also, they said that the "aisle" was a sloping gravel hill DOWNWARD and the BMs were slipping and sliding in their heels.

While I wasn't at this wedding, my least favorite person in the world had a self catered wedding. Meaning his mother and grandmother cooked for 400 people. And it was an outdoor ceremony and reception in the middle of a field in July. And the bridesmaids gifts? Bride paid for hair or makeup. Groomsmen got nothing but they did get the honor of wearing hideous outfits that weren't honestly deemed good enough for our annual salvation army donations.

At a different wedding I was at I was a bridesmaid to a bridezilla. I had spent closer to $2.5k in preparation wedding festivities and attire and then the day of the wedding, we were told not to leave the hotel room all day so no guests see us before the ceremony. She was particular about where she had her bridal shower and bachelorette. She required certain shades of makeup and a particular mani/pedi. Needless to say, none of the bridal party is friends with her anymore and her sister/MOH refuses to speak to her. She's who I think about when I read the *it's MY day* posts. She is also the person I think about before any bridal party decision I make just so I know I don't turn bridezilla and loose my loved ones.

Someone I know sent out invites to everyone that said dinner and dancing to follow the ceremony, but after sending the invites out, decided they didn't want to pay for catering. She sent a follow up note saying that the reception had been moved to a sports bar near her ceremony site. Everyone had to pay for their own food, including the bridal party.

I was a BM in my MOHs wedding. She made us all sleep at her house the night before the wedding. I had to share a queen sized bed with her and her sister. Hot hot hot church. 2 hours of pics outside in the dead of summer. Cash bar. BP was in charge of "tear down"

Reading these 44 days out from my own wedding makes me feel SO. MUCH. BETTER. about everything.

Thank you! As B.roo said: *insert crying emoji*

Lasagna story is the best one! I died laughing.

Some of these stories actually frighten me!! Lol. I was a BM in a wedding. We decorated reception venue on Thursday evening for Saturday wedding. She didn't buy linens (chair linens might I add) that came steamed, BP job to do it. Spent 8 hours doing it, between 5 of us. Then, at said reception, food was not good, and they ran out. buffet style line, and DJ called tables to go up and get food. Some tables were loud, and didn't hear, so they were mad that they didn't get to eat. As the night went on, there was a table of younger adults, they tried to stack all their empty beer cans on the table to see who drank the most. They were being obnoxious, and the venue ran out of alcohol because it was brought in. So they went to get more, but it was warm. Then at the end of the night, the venue had their people go around and dump people's beer into buckets before the reception was even over at 10:30pm. Started ripping down tables. Taking tablecloths and centerpieces off. Then the WP cleaned up. And the other bridesmaids cut her cake for her.

I cracked up reading @remdgmllionaire's post lol

I'm still laughing at the Lasagna !