horrible sister/maid of honor problem

ALSO: I really HAVE to have the wedding party even. 4 bridesmaids. 4 groomsmen. And this is going to throw it completely off. Because I don't have any friends who are a perfect size 2 to fit into this red dress.

I think you should talk to her, as a sister. Maybe go some time NOT bringing up the wedding and get your relationship with her back on track before you ask again about the wedding. Show her you're there for her and see if the attitudes change.

Sometimes we get caught up in our weddings and forget that as much as most people are happy for us, our wedding is NOT the MOST important things going on. We are "obsessed" with our weddings but everybody else does not see it that way, spend some time with your sister and do NOTHING wedding related. It will show her you really care about her as a person and are not there only to fill a spot on your wedding party.

If you're picking attendants to keep your wedding party even, or to fit the dresses you want, you're going to have even more drama as time goes on.

Ok on top of being date twins! I also have the same problem. My cousin (who was raised as my sister) and I made a promise to eachother to be the other's MOH when we were young!! She was all gung ho at the beginning but then her own life started spinning out of control and now I can barely talk to her about the wedding!! I asked her if she was coming the day we were coming to pick out bridesmaids dresses and her response was IDK I guess so! Another bridesmaid of mine has been gracious enough to host my bridal shower, bachelorette party and has basically stepped into the position of my MOH! I am sorry you are going through the same thing!

I either think you guys need to work it out or you need to suck up the whole not-even thing. I've been to lots of weddings where they were uneven, and it really doesn't make a difference!

Or you could pick a new MOH and order her a new dress?

My sister and I have never really had the "sisterly" relationship. She's 3 years younger than me, and acts like everything is about her. She went with my FH to pick out my engagement ring, and ended up looking for rings for HERSELF. I try to talk to her as a human being, but she treats me like shit. We have shared a bedroom for 18 years and she goes through my stuff and takes my stuff without asking. She has a "me me me" attitude, and has since the day she was born. If it's not all about Katie, it's not important enough for her to care.

I'm not saying that I want my sister in the wedding because it will keep the numbers even. I want her there because she's my SISTER. I don't necessarily want her as my MOH though, because she's a bitch, to put it lightly. The number thing will bug me, but it's not something that's a MUST.

I agree with Tach, if you can talk to her on subjects not regarding the wedding, you may be able to get underneath the issues. Speaking from experience, I had similar w/my sister, MOH. I'm 27, She's 20. I too was extremely wrapped up in my wedding stuff that I wasn't considering her life goings-on. Not only that but she's never like FH. According to her, he's not a real man (our relationship has been rocky - mostly fixed now ). Yet, the hs boys she's dated all are exes now.

So she proclaimed herself as MOH, then shortly denoted herself cuz she didnt have time to be there for me - her words literally. After some bold sometimes cruel advice (on the knot, yeah) I thought, ok maybe it's me. Nope not me, underneath it all she's selfish, disrespectful, & hateful. Long story short, I had to have a long talk to find out she just doesnt care. Have a talk w/ your sis. She may be having something go on that's upsetting her life. Or she may just need an attitude adjustment

My sister doesn't like my FH, she thinks I could "do much better" and "deserve more." Even though I adore him, and he's seriously my other half. She always compares him to her on again off again piece of CRAP ex boyfriend.

I do try to talk to her about things OTHER than the wedding. If everything isn't 100% about Katie, she's not interested. That's how she's always been.

I would say then that you have some decisions. My sis denoted her MOH status, & after months of her BS, I said screw it. currently, we haven't talked for months & I'm not inviting her.

Now, you dont have to go that far. Wheter you take her off MOH, or just let the bs go & deal w her attitude, remember it's your day. You make it what you want. Decisions are hard, and having family fights really do suck.. Just make sure you are making the right decision for you

I want her in the wedding. She's freaking out and saying she absolutely will NOT be in my wedding at all now. And because our mom paid for her dress, she's going to attack our mother first thing in the morning (while I'm asleep - because I don't have to work in the mornings) and tell her that I kicked her out and it's my fault that my mom wasted her money buying the dress for my sister. I mean I get my fault in this - telling her I'd prefer her to be a bridesmaid. But because her dress is the only red one (the rest are in black) I would still name her as MOH on the programs and everything.. But after that she started freaking out on me telling me to ask my other BMs to be my MOH. And that she wants nothing to do with my wedding.

it sucks. =/

Sorry to hear it's gone so bad. Really does suck to fight with family. On a side note, I have no idea about how it will actually look but:

I may have a lone BM. Not surprisingly, FSIL declared herself a BM - after I only met her a 2nd time. I went along w/it, I really dont mind. But now I find myself a GM short, FH doesnt have too many friends locally (his home town is in Minnesota).

I wouldnt be too worried about an odd number. It may seem wierd, & I dont know if you'll have the GM escorting the BM. But I know alot of people have the groomsmen already standing up by the altar w/ the groom, and the BM walk down the aisle, so if there is an odd number, they are all walking solo to the front

I wanted to have the GMs walk the BMs down the asile. But looks like that little dream of mine isn't happening... I mean it could, since I don't have a MOH, and the Best Man would already be up with my FH.... So idk.. But still the problem of not having a MOH is bugging me. I have accepted my bitchy sister telling me she was MOH, and now that she's refusing to be in the wedding, I feel weird without having one..

She's saying that she wants nothing to to with your wedding, but you want her to be part of it.

There will have to be a compromise somewhere.. but I just wanted to say that I picked a "good" friend of mine as my BM when I shouldn't have. She made sarcastic comments on the day before the wedding and all day during the wedding (AND post-wedding!). She's a lovely person, but somehow she just went overboard with her dry "humor". To this day, I still remember all of it.. well it was just a couple months ago, but nevertheless, I don't think I'm quite over it. She really put a negative note to a beautiful day.

I'm afraid my sister will do that... I'm just not sure if it will be worse if she's in the wedding or sitting as a guest.

My goodness Bree... I thought I was reading a post about myself...honestly! My sister is my MOH... and thankfully she lives 1500km away and I don't have to put up with her as much. We weren't that close growing up, we also shared a room for 10 years, but once she moved away, we became closer and chat online, by text or on the phone daily. BUT, she has the same attitude as yours sister... it is all about Beth!!

My sister has made many comments about how she needs to look "HOT" at the wedding and that aside from me, she will be the most important person that day.... she doesn't like it when she doesn't get her way and always likes to have all the attention. UGH

It is crappy that your sister is acting like this... and even crappier that she will probably act inappropriately during the wedding out of spite...... I have no real advice, just to let you know that your are not alone....

I get that she's upset with me. But to blow it all out of proportion is just... well it's just like HER.

I want her to be in my wedding (she looks AMAZING in the red dress we picked - and she knows it) she IS my sister after all... I mean I've decided I'm going to try to leave her alone about it for a few days (i hope this is possible) and then bring it up again in a little while.

But she has really been the worst possible MOH ever. My BM Dena has done EVERYTHING with me. Flowers, dress, registries, helping my mom with my shower, and so much more. She's acting more like a MOH than my sister was. In October my sister told me she was going to talk to our aunts and ask if they would help her set up an engagement scavenger hunt party.. It's MAY now, she still hasn't talked to them. So I guess I'm either not having an engagement party, or I'm going to have to talk to them myself - which I do NOT want to do. =/