Just need to vent a little. Yesterday was my birthday, my 50th birthday. I don't know what I expected, but it certainly wasn't for pretty much everyone in my life to totally ignore it. I have never been one to need gifts, people who know me know that. They know i'm more of a sentimental person. I love cards, I love phone calls. I'm not a bit texter, but texts would have been nice. Emails. Instead what I got were messages on Facebook from people I don't really know. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the fact they took time out to wish me a happy birthday.
When my brother and his wife each turned 50 I took them out to dinner and got them a small gift. Did I get that back? Nope. I didn't do that for them so they would do it in return, but it would have been nice. I would have settled for a McDonald's hamburger.
I'm not mad at my fiancee, not at all. He's a plumber and on call right now so he couldn't take me anywhere. He feels horrible for that. None of his kids, my future stepkids who say they love me and are happy i'm marrying their dad even contacted me. That hurt me more than I can put into words. My fiancee brought me home a hostess cupcake which I thought was sweet.
It's hard when I see people who i went to school with, or even my cousins who turned 50 getting surprise parties,big birthday parties, lunches, etc. I was supposed to have a mini bachelorette night with my bridesmaid that my FH surprised me with, but all she wanted to do was go to dinner and bring me home. I had no shower, no parties of any kind from her or my niece/MOH. I just really wish I had people around me who thought enough of me to make an effort like I do. I wish I wasn't so hurt. I spent the majority of my birthday in tears. I know birthdays don't have to be a big deal, but I just felt like since I was turned 50 it would have been nice for my friends, my family, and my soon-to-be family to care enough to at least acknowledge it
i'm not trying to get any pity, i'm not. I just know my FH feels so bad and I don't want to make him feel any wore. I needed to let it out so I can try and feel better
how I feel
