Honoring parent that passed away.

My FH's mom passed away and two of my grandparents and a great aunt who was like a grandparent have all passed and I was thinking of doing something like this, but I haven't gotten his ok yet. He's very sensitive when it comes to his mom and I don't think he'd even want it, but it is nice I think. If you go on Pinterest and type in "wedding memorial ideas" or "wedding memorial table" signs etc. there is a lot that comes up. Sorry the photos are so ginormous

We had a photo collage of people that we wanted to honor at the reception, and we noted FH's parents' absence on the ceremony program. Other than that, it was a celebration. You will know in your heart that your mom is there with you that day.

I'm wearing my Mom's veil. I'm also putting out a table with photos of everyones wedding (his parents, my parents, etc.) We are including live relatives so its not "the dead table." heh

I know what you mean. But you are sooo thoughtful to want to honor them! My dad passed away 3 years ago, and i'm already tearing up every time i think about father daughter dance and walking down the aisle. My mom suggested putting his favorite baseball cap or a single rose on one of the chairs or making a memorial on one of the tables, but I think just seeing that would make me cry that day.

instead I'm going to do the picture pendant on the bouquet instead and maybe sew a heart shape from one of his own teeshirts on my gown, that way i know its there but I don't have to see it too much. Either way I know its gonna be a hard day without him.. I would be careful with big flashy things like the sign or the pictures.. if it were me i know it would make me sad.

I am struggling with this too. I think I will do a photo on my bouquet. I will be thinking of her so much, and be close to tears if I think too much.

Big hugs xx

We are doing photo charms on my bouquet and his bout., and also mentioning his mom in the wedding program.

My mom passed away in October 2013 and I really want to do the photo charm on my bouquet. It is simple, but meaningful. I am sorry for everyone who has lost a parent/grandparent. It is an awful feeling.

I know some people will say that they don't like x,y,z or that it can upset guests, but we did the following and it went fine. It was just over a year since my mom had passed when we had out wedding.

When my mom would've been seated that 'started' everything. Instrumental music started for somewhere over the rainbow and my brother walked a corsage down to where she would've sat and placed it on there and then walked back. I didn't want things read/said I wanted to go for the 'actions speak louder than words'. In the reception we had a memory table. I had a picture of her and I framed, a framed poem and then a candle vase in the middle with a floating candle. They venue forgot to light the candle and I noticed it once, but then got busy and forgot. I feel bad that I forgot and didn't make sure it got lit, but I know that I need to not be so hard on myself. I also had one of her rings fixed and wore that and a bracelet that I was going to give to her when we were trying to move our wedding up last April before she passed.

Less is more on this one. No empty chairs please; it IS upsetting to many people though o one will tell you.

I've seen charms, brief mentions, photos, mentions in programs and more subtle things like playing a favorite song or using a favorite flower, wearing apiece of jewery.

I absolutely agree with Celia!! My dad passed away at 64 after battling cancer. He was the youngest of 3 siblings. My aunt, his oldest sister, still hasn't gotten over the loss of her baby brother. I've decided I'm not going to make an obvious memorial because I would not want to make my aunt sad on such a happy occasion. I am going to play a song he would have liked (he was a part-time musician/mostly hobby) - his family will know by the song that it is a memorial to him without an obvious dramatic memorial. I also think I am going to put a nice picture on my bouquet like others are doing. But no memorial table or candles lit or empty chairs, and no verbal mentions. Something subtle.

When it comes to something like this, you need to do what feels right for YOU. This is your wedding day and you have the right to honor your Mom the way you see best. I don't like when people say to not do something because its upsetting to others. She is YOUR mom and if you like an idea then go with it. You will never have everyone agree with you. I love my mom about a year and a half ago and am thinking of ways to include her in our wedding as well.

Its a hard thing, planning a wedding without your mom. So I strongly feel that you should go with the ideas you like and not worry about others!

To each their own, some people like the idea of leaving a chair for a loved one and some don't. Its not wrong either way. Its just a personal opinion and feeling.

I personally like the idea of saving them a seat. I am also planning on getting the charm for my bouquet and possibly any other ideas that I come across.

Its your day, and she will be with you no matter how you decide to honor her.

and she will be so proud and happy! Good luck!

I thought about doing something for my dad but i decided not to. This is supposed to be a happy day for me and that will just make me and my siblings/mom/other relatives sad. I want to keep the mood light and not bring people to tears

H's died passed away when he was 12. We had a bouquet of carnations and baby's breath at the altar (those are the flowers he would get for my MIL). Originally H didn't want to do anything but then the priest suggested it and he felt more comfortable doing something vs. nothing.

I'm with Celia. Less is more. I've been to weddings where my mother was honored and no one cleared it by me. It made me sad the whole wedding.

Think of your other guests comfort.

'This is your wedding day and you have the right to honor your Mom the way you see best. I don't like when people say to not do something because its upsetting to others. She is YOUR mom and if you like an idea then go with it.'

No, no, no and just no.

This is something I feel very strongly about and this is just bad advice. The whole point is that it isn't just YOUR (general you) Mum. She is also someone's sister, someone's aunt, someone's daughter, someone's wife, and also probably someone else's Mum too.

I lost my Dad last year - and by your logic if I wanted to do the empty chair thing I should just do it, regardless of the fact that it would reduce my mother to a sobbing, emotional mess. But he's MY father, so I should just honour him how I want right?

Besides the fact that grief is private. There is no need to make a spectacle about it. I will never understand the need people have of making their grief public. Something small and subtle, that means something to you, that's all you need.

My FH doesn't want anything to honor his father and grandfather because it's a happy day and he doesn't want sadness involved. His father was a very tragic and sudden loss and too many people will be upset that he isn't there even without a memorial. That will be a hard bump in the road on the day of the wedding. I know he will lose it.

When it comes to this situation, it really is your decision. If you choose to do anything display wise, it should have meaning. For my mom's wedding, her FW had a table setting at the head table next to her mother with a sign that said, "Reserved in Memory of: Father's Name" who passed away when she was 13. Both FW and I have had our fathers pass away. We mutually decided we would do the same on each end of the head table where they would have sat. FW hasn't been insistent on much but she made it clear that we will do this regardless. For us, it's our way of having them there and we both feel we need that comfort.

My mom passed away 4 years ago and my dad passed away last year. I'm not having anything special said during the ceremony. We're having a memorial table with my parent's wedding picture as well as a picture of my uncle (who was like a second father), my cousin, FH's grandmother and his cousin. I'm also sewing a piece of my dad's shirt into my dress.

We are putting a single white rose in the bouquets for FSILs and for my best friend whose mother passed away when we were young (her mom was like a 2nd mom to me). I also am donating my hair after the wedding to pay respect to my late mother-in-law to-be, since she passed from breast cancer. She passed before he and I met so it's difficult. I'm still having the pictures too.

I think something small and sentimental to your family would be perfect. FH lost his dad 10 years ago and he plans on wearing a pair of his cufflinks and (probably) an old tie of his, that his mom kept.

We have been thinking of doing a donation to the Heart and Stroke Foundation of Canada (his dad died of a heart attack), instead of gift favours, but we haven't decided yet.

But something simple, and more of a "this is for you mom" instead of a full-blown memorial, as to not take away from the beautiful day? Incorporate her love into different ways, and know she will be watching and so happy for you!