Dedicated October 2011

Honoring Deceased Relatives

J, on April 11, 2011 at 4:46 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 13

Hi All,

I had wanted to do something special to honor my wonderful grandmother, who has been gone for 8 yrs the end of this month.

I was wondering if anyone had any ideas or anything special they're doing to honor those incredible people who touched our lives who, unfortunately, could not be physically present with us on the happiest day of our lives.

TIA Smiley smile


Latest activity by Wendy, on October 3, 2017 at 2:29 PM
  • Panda Bride
    Master June 2011
    Panda Bride ·
    • Flag

    We are having our flower girl carry 3 white roses in her basket, and the officiant is going to mention the the bride and groom would like to honor 3 special people who are no longer with us, and she is going to walk up and put them in a vase near the stage

    • Reply
  • The Mrs.
    Savvy October 2011
    The Mrs. ·
    • Flag

    There are 3 loved ones that won't be with my fiance & i on our wedding day and i was thinking about having 3 white ballons with their names on them and we could let them go into the air during the ceremony

    • Reply
  • D
    Devoted June 2011
    Donna ·
    • Flag

    We're going to have the preacher say this during our wedding:

    Join with me as we bow our heads to observe a moment of silence to honor the memory of those who are not with us today, but are here in spirit. (Pause briefly) Amen.

    • Reply
  • Puffins
    Master November 2012
    Puffins ·
    • Flag

    My something blue is a necklace my uncle wore during his life that i'll wear on my day. he was a second father to me.

    my grandparents and great grandmother are all gone, but i only had a relationship with 1 of them past the age of 11, so i'm not sure i'm doing anything. feels weird to only include the one and exclude the rest as far as grandparents.

    But, my uncle meant the world to me, so it was a different relationship.

    • Reply
  • Thumbelina
    Expert May 2010
    Thumbelina ·
    • Flag

    I had my brother's and my initials hung from my bouquet, a tiny photo of him in my pocket, a seat at the ceremony with his name (there was supposed to be a rose there, but didn't happen) and had the band play a song dedicated to him that he used to play on the clarinet. I wore my grandma's pearl earrings and her mink coat when it got cold.

    • Reply
  • Kristen
    Expert December 2011
    Kristen ·
    • Flag

    I am having a table with 3 roses, and 3 candles on it. One for each person who can't be there. And then a song will be played at the reception in remembrance.

    • Reply
  • JackilynC
    Super October 2011
    JackilynC ·
    • Flag

    I am having a bouqet charm with a picture of my biological dad and a single red rose down in the center of my bouqet to represent him. I'm also using some of my great grandma's old jewelry in the bouqet. I am trying to choose between the pieces. At the reception I'm dancing with my grandpa to the song my biological dad used to sing to my mom.

    • Reply
  • Kelsey
    Super March 2011
    Kelsey ·
    • Flag

    I had seats reserved for my grandparents

    • Reply
  • Maria
    Super July 2011
    Maria ·
    • Flag

    My FH is deceased and he didn't want to feel sad so he didn't want anything done that was big. That is one reason we are not doing a unity candle. I wanted to put a 8x10 photo of her up at the altar with a candle but that was going to be too much for him too. So we finally will put a poem on the back of the programs to honor her. I thought it was a touching poem:

    If Roses grow in Heaven,

    Lord please pick a bunch for me,

    place them in my Mother's arms

    and tell her they're from me.

    Tell her I love her and miss her,

    and when she turns to smile,

    place a kiss upon her cheek

    and hold her for awhile.

    Because remembering her is easy,

    I do it every day,

    but there's an ache within my heart

    because I am missing her today.

    Author Unknown

    • Reply
  • Alannah
    Devoted June 2011
    Alannah ·
    • Flag

    @Thumbelina, I really like that idea and I would like to do something like that for my brother also, I was wondering where you got those initials.?

    • Reply
  • rlg510
    Super July 2011
    rlg510 ·
    • Flag

    I am doing a Remembrance Table in the narthex of the church. I will have a floral arrangement, candles in our wedding colors and place cards with our deceased loved ones on it (my parents, FH's father and brother). They may also set up a table in the hallway of the reception venue as well.

    • Reply
  • C
    Beginner April 2013
    cindy ·
    • Flag

    My stepson got marred. His mom is deceased. His dad is now married to me. At the wedding they had a large picture of his mom in a chair with her name next to my husband and I was assigned to sit on the other side of my husband. So his late wife on one side of my husband and me on the other. I was not comfortable with that. Was that appropriate? Am I being too sensitive? My family says it was mean and the picture should have been elsewhere to be acknowledged. I would love some other opinions who are not biased.

    • Reply
  • W
    Just Said Yes September 2017
    Wendy ·
    • Flag

    Both my parents are deceased, we wanted to honor them along with my husband's grandfather and friends we had both lost. Most of the poems I found online were too depressing so I wrote one myself (and had it copyrighted). We had his sister and niece read it while our string quartet played.

    Ancestral Song

    When we started on our paths

    So many rains ago

    A need was there for helping hands

    To set us on our road

    Lessons learned from those we love

    The village did their part

    Composing all their strength and light

    Into many grateful hearts

    The tune of love and knowledge shared

    To teach us right from wrong

    Each note would flow in harmony

    Their own melody in song

    Time has passed and we have lost

    Great loves along the way

    Family who raised us up from kids

    Friends we played with every day

    Though they no longer walk in step

    We can’t see them by our side

    The love that they instilled in us

    Will forever be our guide

    So on this day of happiness

    When two become as one

    Let’s pause to honor those we loved

    Their song will still be sung

    - Wendy D. Granger, copyright 2017

    • Reply

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