Honeyfund at a Destination Wedding

Also the wedding is on a Tuesday, maxing it the number of vacation days I have to take to attend

UO but, I’d probably back out of being a BM at that point due to the costs. I’m not going to spend 1mo salary to attend a DW, while planning my own. Heck I probably wouldn’t spend that to attend a DW even if I weren’t planning my own.

A honeyfund in this situation is ridiculous, sounds a bit greedy.

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ETA: This is embarrassing, NOW I get it.

I'll go ahead and see myself out..................

I’m doing a destination wedding. Although gifts are great and everything, we could care less if we get any. The fact that people are taking the time to go is gift enough in my opinion. In fact we are so grateful we paid for our bridal party’s airfare and hotels for the week, as well as having a welcome party dinner and a reception dinner. I want them all to know how much we appreciate them being there.

No offense but this couple seems really bratty 😭😭 I’m actually in awe that they’re expecting 200 people on a Tuesday in MOROCCO. They must be $$$. Anyway I wouldn’t expect a gift from you and and if you feel bad about not giving one I’d give a small monetary amount but they absolutely shouldn’t expect you to shell out a crazy amount considering your taking a $1600 flight also the way to Africa 😭 also if 200 people came to my wedding I probably wouldn’t even notice who didn’t give me a gift. We’re having a DW in Colorado and we’re all from Texas. It’s not that far away though 😂 reading this has me considering not having a registry at all

If you're a bridesmaid in a destination wedding, I wouldn't expect you to give a gift at all. Also, I'm sure if you wanted to, you could get a gift card for maybe $50 (if you felt you REALLY wanted to give a gift). Is this a true honey fund or did they register for gift cards?

I wouldn't go, period. A month's salary? Hell no,

As someone who is planning a destination wedding, I don’t want or expect gifts. I think our family and friends traveling to celebrate with us is a gift.

What is wrong with people setting up a honeyfund for a destination wedding! Posts like this remind me how self centered people can be during the wedding process. Your expenses are enough (that is a very expensive wedding to travel to). I think its nice to get them a gift, but it can definitely be on the smaller side (and it doesnt have to be contributing to their honeyfund!) Under 50 dollars is fine and truthfully you could get something nice in the 30 dollar range considering how much you spent to get there. I think its definitely acceptable to give less of a gift for a travel related event. People have bills to pay and budgets to follow.

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How was any of what was said, painting us as self centered?? Because most of us wouldn't want to spend over $2000 to attend a wedding, and then another $100-300 on gifts??? This DW could cost over $**** factoring in attire, hotel, and food. If you think that's alright to spend, or ask people to spend, that's your opinion, just as mine Is:, that's a little much to ask someone to pay so much to attend a wedding. One month's salary to attend is a lot... To expect 200 guests to spend such large amount of money to attend said DW, and then ask/expect them to contribute to a honeyfund is honestly surprising...

I personally couldn't afford this while planning my own wedding. Neither could any of my friends or family.

OP, could they be offsetting their costs, by having the guests pay so much? Some resorts do that for the couple. A certain amount of rooms is reserved and essentially their rooms/wedding is covered.

View Quoted Comment For what it’s worth, between airfare, hotel, attire and food, this wedding is costing my FH a and I about $9k to attend. It’s honestly impacting my relationship with the bride because she’s NOT rich and acting as if this is totally normal when I know for a fact it isn’t.

View Quoted Comment Also, no, not offsetting costs. The wedding isn’t at the hotel, it’s like a normal stateside wedding at a “wedding venue”

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There is not a chance in hell i'd spend $9k to attend a wedding. Not even for my best friend, sister, mother, father... No way. That's a lot of money to shell out to attend a wedding.. I'm.. wow that so much.

Why couldn't they do their wedding here in the states, then go to Morocco for honeymoon?? So basically they're expecting to make money back, or offset their wedding costs, but having guests contribute to honeymoon??? I can't even... my goodness thats so much..

As a bride who is having a destination wedding and has a Honeyfund, I'm not expecting anything from the 17 guests who are attending our wedding in Mexico. We know it was a big ask of those we invited and aren't expecting anything from them. The Honeyfund is more for those that we'll be sending a wedding announcement to once we get back to the states.

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I hear what you're saying, but I feel like the optics of a honeyfund at a destination wedding just really aren't great.

View Quoted Comment If you’re a Bridesmaid and already agreed to be in the wedding you should definitely be going.. unless you’re way far in advance and can tell them, “I’m sorry but I simply cannot afford the cost” but if you’re just a guest and you’re deciding to go without the agreement to be in the wedding, then I would give $50-100 in a lovely card if I felt so inclined and let them put it toward their flight that way.

Question though is the “minimum donation” amount for that category $1600 or that’s just the least expensive ticket you’ve found??

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Sorry, should been *felt* extra pressure to go.

$1,600 is the price of the tickets for people in my area to fly to the wedding, nothing to do with the registry.

View Quoted Comment I readFutureMrs.L’s post as saying that the COUPLE is being self centered for expecting lavish gifts on top of people spending that amount of $$ not the commenters. I think she was saying seeing a post about someone expecting $ on a very expensive DW reminds her how selfish people can be.

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That’s exactly what i was meaning. Not sure how it was misconstrued as MY being self centered.. lol 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

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Ahhh I just wrote this poorly! I meant the couple is self-centered for expecting people (who are already shelling out thousands to attend their wedding) to give an additional cash gift when attending.