Honeyfund at a Destination Wedding

I wouldn't attend a destination wedding unless it happened to be on my vacation bucket list anyhow.

If I didn't attend I would send a card and a check.

If I did attend, I would send a card with my heartfelt best wishes.

They want you to spend thousands to attend their wedding, and they want you to help pay their way?

People disagree with me on this, but I would. Especially if its international.

Yeah, this is tough. I probably wouldn't be able to give them a huge monetary gift due to the expenses of flying and staying at the destination. For me, yes, it would affect the amount I gave.

Any gift is appreciated. You should do what you can afford. Don't do anything you're not comfortable with, financially.

I've never been to a destination wedding, but I probably would ignore the honeyfund and give them 50-100 bucks. 1600 is more than I spend on 10 days in europe and I wouldn't be spending it to fly to a weekend wedding.

It would definitely affect how much I spent on them. I would never spend that much to attend a wedding unless it was close family or my best friend. I think it's tacky to ask for help funding it, and with the airfare that high they really shouldn't be expecting much in the way of gifts.

I mean the cost is the cost and you didn't have to say yes even if you are asked to be a BM...I wouldn't go on a trip that wasn't on my list if it was 1mo salary unless it was a very close friend or family member.

To answer your gift question, no I would not give my normal gift amount at an expensive destination wedding, and I would not give to a honeyfund for any reason.

Yeah Honeyfunds are a no from me, dawg. I'd still give them a monetary gift, but wouldn't feel pressured to go "all out" since you're already shelling out so much just to be there!

I'd give a small gift. I've traveled to two weddings which were in the US and one I gave money (an amount of my own choosing), and the other the bride told me they weren't doing a registry and I absolutely didn't have to worry about a gift because of the cost of traveling to the wedding - which was a very nice gesture of her to make.

For a month's salary cost to me I'd get a nice card and a small monetary gift. Small.

I'm not sure what the "proper etiquette" for this is - from what I understand you're not required go get them a gift at all - but I'll just weigh in with this. Sounds like they should not have any right to expect "traditional" wedding guest behavior like lavish gifts or even most people to attend (including those they've asked to be in the wedding party - you are never obligated to accept). Having you fly that far just for their wedding seems extremely rude to me, unless that's where some of their family is from or something and it's super important to them, in which case they still shouldn't expect anyone else to be able to swing this. They could have just gone there on their honeymoon and hosted their friends closer to home. I'm not against destination weddings but this seems over the top. I'd love to go to Australia and I have family there but I'd never expect others to shell out that kind of money for an event where I'm the center of attention. I would not go unless it was immediate family, considering Morocco is not even on my long list of places I want to go. Even if this is a best friend they'd still have no right to be mad if you decided not to go, and it sounds like your heart isn't really in this.

But if you're already set on it or paid to go, I think you could definitely go with a much smaller gift. If they're not registering for any inexpensive home items and are expecting everyone to give money, it's not in good taste at all. You're not in the wrong for wanting to save considering the situation.