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Melody
Savvy April 2020

Honestly, is anyone paying for their entire wedding themselves?

Melody, on November 6, 2019 at 9:35 AM

Posted in Planning 56

They say nothing makes you feel like Oliver Twist more than wedding planning, amiright? I just saw a link on Refinery29 that discussed “real budgets,” and everyone except one person had parents chipping in at least $10K or $20K. Am I the only person here / couple here that is paying for EVERYTHING...
They say nothing makes you feel like Oliver Twist more than wedding planning, amiright? I just saw a link on Refinery29 that discussed “real budgets,” and everyone except one person had parents chipping in at least $10K or $20K. Am I the only person here / couple here that is paying for EVERYTHING ourselves? Our grandparents are dead, my dad is passed, his parents died tragically when he was young. We are paying for everything ourselves: a small ceremony and reception for 30 people. I am feeling very very alone. All I need is to hear from just one other person that they (also) don’t have the Bank of Mom and Dad funding their day.

56 Comments

  • Lenaya
    Dedicated January 2020
    Lenaya ·
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    No bank of mom and dad here! We are paying for our wedding ourselves with the exception of my mom paying for invitations. We got engaged Christmas Day 2018 and we are getting married in January 2020. We have been staying positive through the planning process because nobody can try to give their opinions because nobody is contributing in a major way. We have a guest list of 80 and have managed to keep it under 15k BUT we've given ourselves a whole year to plan and take advantage of payment plans!

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  • Suzie
    Super October 2021
    Suzie ·
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    We are paying for everything ourselves as well. Think of the upside, no family demands since they are not contributing!

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  • Tara
    VIP November 2016
    Tara ·
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    We paid for absolutely everything by ourselves, wedding, honeymoon, etc. My bridesmaids did contribute towards my shower and bachelorette party, but I paid a portion as well. Both of us have our parents alive and each had 1 grandmother, but we paid for it all on our own. We got married at a golf club and had 135 people there too. I am so proud that we paid for it on our own and I feel like we started our marriage off right!!! It was so nice getting to make every decision with just the 2 of us in mind and not having to appease anyone else.

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  • A
    Dedicated September 2020
    Ashlei ·
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    You are not alone! We both still have both of our parents/grandparents but we are paying for everything. Unfortunately my parents don’t make much money and for them to try to help would probably put them behind, and his mom is disabled so we help her out, and his dad/step are the same as my parents. A good friend of mine is getting married a month before me and their parents are paying for everything basically. When I mentioned i was doing fake flowers because florists are so expensive kind of laughed not realizing how much her parents are actually spending. I’m cutting costs where I can lol must be nice tho to have the luxury of someone paying for it all.
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  • Rickeia
    Beginner October 2021
    Rickeia ·
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    As of right now, we are planning to do everything on our own. My family can't help, and we don't feel its fair to approach his asking when my can't financially do so.

    But we think by placing it in 2021, we should be able to get everything we want by then and hopefully be able to pay for it.

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  • Alejandra
    Super March 2019
    Alejandra ·
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    We paid it all by ourselves, we did it and sometimes it was hard but we made it work. Yeah its great that you have parents that can donate $25k to your wedding but unfortunately not everyone has that. Anytime I see a post where one parent donates x amount and the other doesn't and they are so mad I'm over here thinking wow I am just happy that my mom was able to walk me down the aisle.

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  • Kaysey
    Super February 2020
    Kaysey ·
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    I promise that you are not alone! My fiance and I are paying for everything ourselves as well while we are in the beginning stages of buying a house and paying off student loans. It is very stressful but we are making it work easier than we thought with strict budgeting. Keep your head up! You've got this!

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  • Clarissa
    Savvy May 2021
    Clarissa ·
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    I mean, my parents are chipping in some money towards my wedding, but mostly me and my FH are going to be paying for mostly everything. Mom is paying for the wedding dress and my dad says he might chip in $5K which we appreciate greatly.

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  • Tammy
    Dedicated September 2021
    Tammy ·
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    *raises hand* My FH believes that family members will pay for everything if we ask, but being that we're approaching our 40s and our parents are retired, it makes more sense (to me) to pay for everything ourselves.


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  • Amy
    Just Said Yes July 2020
    Amy ·
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    We are paying ourselves, too, for 250 guest (eeek!). One positive is you get to make all the decisions guilt-free!

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  • A
    Beginner May 2022
    Angela ·
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    We are paying for everything ourselves. We are older and this is a second marriage for us both but a first wedding and reception for us both as well. We are having everything at the same place so we are saving there. His parents are deceased and mine are declining healthwise.
    I feel so alone and overwhelmed a lot. I lived out of state until 2 years ago so I have no girlfriends to help out or vent to. My bridesmaids are 2 granddaughters, my neice, his neice and my good girlfriend.
    I set a budget of $5000. I spent the most on my photographer so far but almost everything is paid for.
    I never knew there was so much that I didnt know....

    Angela
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  • Ashley
    Super October 2020
    Ashley ·
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    We are paying for everything including my dress. the only thing we are not paying for is our photographer because a family friend offered to do it for free so that he can use pictures for his portfolio because he wants to start branching out from just photo sessions and do weddings also.

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  • Michelle
    Super October 2020
    Michelle ·
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    I am lucky to have help from my parents and fiance's mom. I'm not sure exactly how much they're giving but I know my parents will help a lot.

    If they weren't helping, I would've had a very small, nice, intimate wedding which I would've been fine with! If it was just us, our budget probably would be 12k-15k. With our family I'm trying to stay under 25k.

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  • Stephanie
    Super July 2020
    Stephanie ·
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    We are paying everything ourselves as well. We are at 25K on our budget.

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  • T
    Just Said Yes February 2020
    TOYA ·
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    Ummm yes!!! long ago parents paid for weddings. Nowadays you are on your own!!!! I waited to have a wedding for our 20h anniversary. If I had a word of advice, I would say SAVE YOUR MONEY and go to the justice of the piece. Buy a house and when you reach a milestone such as the 20th or even the 10th have a wedding. Just my opinion. Enjoy whatever you decide.

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  • Future Mrs. B
    Devoted August 2020
    Future Mrs. B ·
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    Present! I honestly thought that the parents paying for the wedding was a myth until I started telling people that we were financing our own wedding. Good luck!

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