My fiance and I are getting married next Fall 2020. As such, we have made it clear to family and friends (along with posting all over our website) that we would like this to be an Adult-only ceremony and reception. In other words, no kids for any reason.
There are many reasons for this:
1. It is an hour away and at night. We figure your child may not be the happiest camper for both of these reasons.
2. There is a lake and people will be drinking. So there is a safety component here.
3. Personal preference. My fiance and I prefer not to have children at our wedding, point blank.
4. Other deeper level things. Not to get into too much detail but I have had a child in my past that was given up for adoption. As such, children are a sensitive topic for me and I prefer not to be reminded on the day of my wedding of this.
The last reason is not widely known nor do I want it to be. However, my fiance's brother has a newborn with his wife. By the time of the wedding, this baby will be about 1 year or so. As of now, the baby does not like the car/cannot do roadtrips and are borderline colic.
I learned recently that my future sister in law has been talking with my future mother in law about bringing the baby to the wedding. Not to the ceremony or reception apparently, but just for family pictures. Apparently her parents are willing to drive 1 hour there and 1 hour back for the baby to be in pictures for a few minutes.
Am I petty for wanting to say no to this request? My reasoning is as follows... it is my wedding and I have requested no children. I feel like this is disrespectful, especially because she did not address this with me directly but rather planned it with my future mother in law and then addressed it with my fiance first. I also do not think it will be JUST pictures. I think it will end up being ceremony and/or reception, and I do not even know her parents nor do I want them there. I also have family and friends with babies who will question why she was allowed to bring one and they were not. Above all, I feel like I have made it clear and that this is being ignored. Again though, am I being petty? I want to be mature, but I feel turmoil about allowing this to happen.
Any and all perspectives/feedback will be helpful. Thank you in advance.
