I need some honest advice regarding my wedding ceremony. Here's the background:
I have been in a relationship with my fiancee for over 6 years and out of the closet to my family for about 2. My family generally is ok with my relationship, but my father will not speak to me and cannot even stand to look at me. This is due to homophobia and just a generally rocky relationship. My FW and I have been very cordial with him the past few years. I have been trying to extend an olive branch, and I sometimes see minor improvements but overall there has been very little change for the better. He still pretty much hates me.
Fast forward to my wedding planning for this September. My FW and I have finally decided how we will walk down the aisle. Her dad will give her away, and I need someone to give me away.
I could ask my brother - he recently got married, and I was his only "grooms-maid" so it would be great to have a special role for him in the wedding to make sure he is equally appreciated. If I do so, I risk definitively alienating my father for good. Not to mention I would be blamed for having severed the relationship publicly ("dealing the final blow" so to speak).
If I don't ask my brother, or even my mother, I risk having an incredibly uncomfortable/bordering on terrible wedding ceremony if my dad somehow agrees to give me away just to save face in front of family/friends.
I have no idea what to do, and I cannot ask my family about this for obvious reasons. My FW votes for asking my dad to give me away as a way to give him one last chance, but she is a much better person than I am. He hasn't even RSVP'd yet.
Thoughts? Any queer engaged folks here with tips? Please help!
