Holiday conflictions

Hell yes it will cause problems, but it also depends on how far people will have to travel to get to your wedding, and how far they travel for the holidays. I wouldn't be able to go in between November and December for that same reason if I was invited. Just ask your guests to know for sure! November is definitely one of the busiest times of the year because of the holidays. However, if you're okay with guests possibly not being able to make it, then who cares, do it.

But definitely keep that in mind.

These are the months I am most pressed for money, so it would be hard for me to travel. But, if it was someone I really cared about, I'd make sure to be there - no matter the date, time or place. You can't keep me away from a wedding I was invited to!

Some people only have limited PTO so if they take a week to travel for Thanksgiving/Christmas then they can't take another week to travel to a wedding around the same time. Plus money is tight for a lot of people during the holidays.

Do you have a lot of OOT guests? If so, then yes it will cause problems if they are taking off for the holidays as well. The other issue is that your wedding is on a Sunday and many of your guests will want to take off of work the following day. Around the holidays, some jobs don't allow you to take off. I'm a teacher and in November and December I'm expected to provide documentation if taking off. I think if someone is already saying there is an issue then you should ask around and discuss it with your FH as to if you think it's worth changing the date.

I think it depends on how far the travel is; if you can drive there or it's a short flight, I think most people can make it work. However, if it's in Costa Rica, that makes it a bit harder. However, if you are a close friend or family member, I will do what I have to to be there! I think you should stick with the date you have, you send out save the dates months in advance giving your guests time to plan and save if they are interested in attending!

Unfortunately, yes I could see this causing problems esp with people having to take off work when they probably need money for Christmas. Also it's probably harder for people to afford wedding gifts so close to Christmas

If people are on a budget I'm sure it would. They would be stuck deciding if they will travel for your wedding or Thanksgiving.

My youngest is getting married the same weekend as you. Thanksgiving was a concern as is the fact that I have another daughter getting married in July so our OOT guests are being asked to travel twice next year. One could argue that pretty much any month could be inconvenient based on holidays, vacations, school breaks, weather concerns, etc.. Fact is no matter when you schedule your day it could be an issue with someone on your guest list. You can't please everyone, so find a date that works for both of you and go for it!

If your wedding is really on Veterans' Day, that could also affect some folks. But yeah, I probably wouldn't be able to travel out of town for a wedding a week or two before Thanksgiving.

We're smack in between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Most of our OOS guests declined, mostly because of money and travel or having to take kids out of school. We had to learn to be ok with that, even when people initially told us how excited they were to come. However, almost all of our local and in state guests said yes. So it really depends on your location and OOT/OOS guests.

Who was this "one person" who told you to change the date? Was it a VIP that has a genuine conflict (e.g., your brother can't take off more than one weekend in November)? Or was it your 2nd cousin, twice removed who may not even be invited?

If all your VIPs (parents, siblings, grandparents, BFFs) are ok with the date, then stick with it. And let the rest of your guests decide if it works for them, but don't stress out about making the date work for everyone. It is nearly impossible to find a date that will work for everyone.

It would depend on if it is a destination for most or not. If I had to fly and get a hotel and all that, I would have to really be close to you to attend because we are on a serious budget through those months because of all the other expenses.

Our wedding is the week before Christmas. We had a higher than expected acceptance rate (only 5 people declined out of 116, except several couples only came as one person because they both couldn't take off, and most people did not bring plus ones). 90% of people were oos and would take either more than 10 hours to drive or would need to fly. I honestly don't think the declines would have been different in another month knowing those people, but more people would have brought their SOs or plus ones at another time.

Granted I don't know other people's finances, but I plan mine throughout a year so that spending money for something from savings in one month is no different than another month and I've already planned Christmas budgets. So I get that people may be busy then (and that was the reason for a lot of SO declines), but I don't understand the finances as an issue compared to any other time of year.

We also sent stds 8 months in advance.

I agree it depends - FH and I just got invited to a wedding in his hometown (6 hour flight/ travel from us), it's immediately after the holidays and we wont be able to attend due to finances not allowing it.

For a holiday wedding during the thanksgiving/christmas time - we would certainly try to go if it was local - but if it was very far out of state we would not be able to attend due to budgetary concerns.

You know what? You schedule your wedding when it works for you and if they can come they do. There are excuses for every time of the year; Memorial Day, summer, no more PTO, too close to Christmas, AP exams......if people really want to come to your wedding, they will. If it's not that important to them, they won't.

This is something that continues to confuse me.....if a wedding isn't important enough to a guest to take time off, budget for the money to get there, then they can say no. Not expect the hosts to find the ultimate convenient day for everyone, which may not even be possible given the speed at which venues book. The sad truth is that a wedding is not as important to all the guests as it is to the couple. And if it's not, it the BBQ they go to every year, or Superbowl or some other yearly event is more compelling than yours? They pass.

For the record, our Novembers are getting busier every year (value pricing at our venues has something to do with it) and none of our couples recently have seen radically smaller numbers. I did a wedding on Friday night, and they literally had six people RSVP no, out of just under 100.

Do what works for you.

We didn't have many issues but ours was a DW so if it conflicted it wasn't just because of holiday travel, it was more because of overall funds.

Close to the holidays, you have to expect conflicts. It's par for the course.

I know I personally would not be able to take time off of work (to travel super far) after the first week in novemeber . I also work retail though. But if it's only a couple hour drive for your out of town guests then it shouldn't be a problem really

Here's how you plan a wedding:

STEP ONE: Find a venue.

STEP TWO: Get possible dates based on venue availability and discussing with VIPs (those you can't imagine not being at your wedding) if that works for them.

STEP THREE: Nail down date based on the availability of your VIPs and venue.

Who told you they can't make it? Was it a VIP? Did you ask your VIPs? You need to. Sunday weddings can be inconvenient for out-of-town guests, so I would not advise having one at such a busy time of year. A random Sunday in September or October? You're good. A Sunday in November or December will be tricky.

ETA: I have to 100% disagree with the notion that if a wedding is important to you, you'll go. It doesn't work like that. A wedding could be incredibly important to you and you may still not be able to go for any number of reasons.

It just depends on your guests. I only have 2 families on the guest list who are truly OOT. The one family has already verbalized they plan to fly out for the wedding. Worst case scenario my wedding was inconvenient for 8 out of 200 people, I'll take those odds. FH and I live in WI and we are planning our wedding in IL because that is where we are from and where most of our family lives.