His sister as my bridesmaid?

Glad that you are standing your ground and that FH is on the same page with you. I agree that it's his responsibility to tell his mom that she needs to let it go, if you are giving her the option of having something to do and if she doesn't wish to partake in that way then she doesn't have to. My FHs mom's only request was that we have his siblings in the wedding party. She's not contributing $ wise to our knowledge but if it's the one thing that will make her more comfortable at our wedding then I am fine with that.

It's your wedding and you get to choose who you want in your bridal party.

First, I have had my wedding party picked since we got engaged almost a year ago! So, I totally understand having it planned out so early also, stand your ground! It is important that you surround yourself with people who are going to bring you joy and happiness on your big day!

I know the feeling I have a cousin I haven't seen in over 13 years and who is really quite older than me and has tried to pressure her way into being a bridesmaid. she went as far as to involve dead relatives wishes!

I told my family and her I would like her to read a poem or make a heartfelt speech but my bridal party is going to be the women closest to me who I have a deep bond with.

Gotta stand your ground on this one.

My MIL wanted her younger two daughters to be the BP I said no because they weren't old enough and we I already had one of my FSIL in the BP. I used the excuse that my FH didn't have my brother as a groomsman so I shouldn't have to have his family as a bridesmaid.

No is a complete sentence. Being that far out I would not worry about it right now. Just because they are family doesn't mean they have to be in it.

No. Even if FMIL is paying she cant tell you who stands with you. If FH wants her, cool, if not, she can be a guest.

OP, talking about your wedding party early is fine. I'm probably in the minority as someone who didn't start thinking about that until recently. The issue is with asking them too early. It's great that you have everything done over a year in advance. That doesn't leave you any room to change your mind. Which is fine as long as that doesn't bother you down the road when trends and tastes change.

Yeah, "no" is all you need to say. Your FMIL doesn't get to decide who's in your BP. If she and FH were close it would be different.

Firm no- only your nearest and dearest is in the bridal party if you don't want trouble

Date twins! You definitely do not have to include his sister in your bridal party. My FH has two sisters, his younger one who is 14 is going to carry our rings and his older sister will just be invited as a guest.