His sister as my bridesmaid?

Im with you. My FH has 2 sisters and their not In our wedding. I'm not close to either of them at all and would rather have my closet friends be my bridesmaids it's y'all's big day. Make it how you want it and whoever dosent like it can hush up !

If she's not paying, stand your ground.

I went through the same thing. FMIL and FSIL felt she should be in the wedding because she's close to FH. Well, she's not close to me and has never been overly welcoming or friendly. So, nope. Tell your FH to tell his mom to lay off or FSIL can stand on his side.

I don't think it's necessary for a bride to have the groom's sister in the bridal party especially if the bride hardly knows her! Keep standing on your no and if the in laws have an issue with it, oh well. They'll have to get over it. Make her do something at the reception or as you already planned. You and your groom are creating a new family and don't have to listen to mom and dad.

I never understand why family members do this. It's non of her business who you have stand up for you. Don't pick a BM just to appease her, because it usually turns out to be a disaster for most people when there is disagreements and lack of communication since you are not close to your FSIL. Even if your in laws are contributing all or some financially, it's still your wedding and they need to be mindful of your choices. Be firm on your "no"; she really does not get a say in your bridesmaids.

Stand your ground. Sounds like FH also has your back, which I like to hear.

It's way too early to ask your bridal party

FHs sister was one of my bridesmaids, but only because it meant a lot to me to have her in the wedding.

Sounds like FMIL needs to stay out of this one. Good on you for being firm on your 'no.' if doing a reading etc. Isn't good enough for FSIL/FMIL, they can both go piss up a rope.

I'm in a similar situation but FMIL isn't pressuring me, instead FSIL always brings up that if FH doesn't have enough people then she would stand on his side

I'm with you. It's your wedding. Tell her no.

You shouldn't even be talking about who your bridal party is going to be yet. Just let it go for another year. It's not worth worrying about now. When you FMIL brings it up just say there's a lot of time before the wedding and you haven't decided yet.

I also think you are naming your bridal party a bit too soon, as your wedding is nearly a year and a half away, and your decisions and relationships may change as time passes. But what's done is done.

Regarding your groom's mother, you have to nip this in the bud right now, or you will spend the rest of your marriage being bullied by her. In this instance, since his mom is trying to dictate not just the groom's choices but also yours, I don't think it's enough to have the groom deal with it. His mother needs to know that YOU are opposed to the idea and that YOU will make all decisions related to your bridal party.

Does his sister even want to be in the wedding? I can't imagine wanting to be a bridesmaid for someone I barely know. Maybe she should be part of the conversation with you, your groom, and your future mother-in-law. Perhaps you can all decide together on some other role for her to serve in the wedding.

Really encourage them to read a poem, ( even if they don't want to) stand by the gifts, cut cake or hand out programs. It's important to stand your ground but hurt/bitter feelings can last a lifetime. See my post on the after party that none of my family was invited to. There should be a compromise somewhere.

Even if FMIL is paying, this is one of the few exceptions to her having a say in your decision. Who stands with you is extremely personal.

Reader or usher is a good role for a not-close FSIL. Somehow I'm getting the vibe from OP that FMIL/FSIL have a history of running ramshackle over FH and are trying to do same here. Nope the eff out of that.

I believe that you should have whomever you wish in your wedding.

I caved to the pressure from his parents to have his cousin (who recently moved in with them) in my bridal party, and I have regretted it every time I think about it. Don't cave.

Our situation is a little different because FH is close to his sister, but this is one of the reasons we're having mixed gender attendants. She gets to stand on his side, and I get to have the people I want on my side (one of whom is a man). It's a really easy solution if you're open to something slightly non-traditional.

Good that you're standing your ground and FH has your back. There's no reason you should be forced to put someone in your bridal party that you don't want there. Something kind of similar happened to me with all 4 of DH's sisters--they all assumed they were going to be bridesmaids, but they were not. It was awkward!

Why does she think she can have a say in your bridal party?