Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Dedicated August 2020

His Mom Doesn’t Want to Attend Wedding

Flag
Hide content

Chelsea, on June 17, 2020 at 1:52 AM

Tonight I have learned that my FMIL now doesn’t want to attend the wedding...a-little backstory last week FMIL texts me and ask questions regarding her dress and the flower girl dress (her grand daughter) which she decides to show me the dress that she likes for herself and I explained the dress style is similar to my moms but it’s a different color, she says that it’s okay she will continue looking. Then I sent her a photo of the dress I bought the flower girl and she immediately gets snappy saying why didn’t I tell her before she bought a dress for the flower girls.. at this point I’m upset because who buys a dress without showing the bride first. (But I left it at that and my dress is the choice we are going with) Anyhow that’s really the last time we spoke. Then yesterday I go to her home to hand deliver the invitation and she is really upset and rude for no reason to me saying that she didn’t need a invitation and slammed it down. And told me I needed counseling before marriage. So I told FH about this because this isn’t the first time she acted this way while he wasn’t around. He tries to tell me that he will handle it blah blah so tonight we are talking and I’m like well did you talk to your mom and he starts babbling about how much he just wants everybody to get along and he thinks we all should have a conversation. I said no I will not have a conversation with her because I did nothing wrong to her she is out of line. So, he then proceeds to share that she doesn’t want to come and it will hurt if she isn’t there... (to me that’s selfish of her to do) but I said how does her feelings change within a few days and he is like well I told her about some disagreements we had and I started sharing with her around May of last year. So now IM pissed because he started this whole mess and doesn’t wanna fix it (unless I help him) and I’m not because I don’t tell my parents everything about our relationship. So he says that his mom is taking everything that he told her now into consideration and doesn’t wanna come. Quite honestly I don’t even wanna come at this point!! I don’t even trust him with a conversation!! P.S we do go to consoling—-sorry really needed to vent!

Show all

30 Comments

VIP May 2020
Jai · on June 17, 2020 at 1:12 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
You're welcome love 😍
- Reply
Expert December 2020
Kayse · on June 17, 2020 at 1:15 PM
Flag

Hide content
I learned a long time ago not to overshare about my relationship with family members. Sounds like your FH might need to learn that too! Good for you for staying out of it. I hope she stops with the theatrics soon!
- Reply
Dedicated August 2020
Chelsea · on June 17, 2020 at 2:39 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Me too over sharing is too much budding in and causes a division in the relationship.
- Reply
Dedicated August 2020
Daniela · on June 17, 2020 at 3:45 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment

Either way it sounds like you win in the end - If she comes great, but if she doesn’t, also great lol! you just can’t fix crazy! Good luck lady!
- Reply
VIP March 2015
Nefetera · on June 18, 2020 at 7:29 AM
Flag

Hide content
Yeah see thats why i too learned this the hard way. He needs to speak with hus mom and retell her or reconnect to ber like "hey mom this is who I wanna be with, she is about to be my wife despite our differences we still love eachother" etc...and let her know that she should only wanna suppott him and he need her to be respectful to who he loves...something down that alley. Because parents for the most part not all well mines when i tell them somethi g about my spouse before marriage my mom didnt like him bc she felt everything i told her she took it bad instead of her just viewing it as me venting to her you know. I hope this helps a little and if he steps up (which he would have too) itll change. Good luck
- Reply
Master January 2021
Andrea · on June 18, 2020 at 8:00 AM
Flag

Hide content
In this situation, your fiance needs to stop running to his mom when the both of you have disagreements. He needs to talk to you and you alone. Or a counselor as you've mentioned. That's it. His mom probably gets a kick out of her son running to her, telling her both of your business. It isn't right. Unfortunately mother in laws can be this way, I know mine is too. I don't entertain stupidity. It just makes my stomach turn. There is nothing my fiance's mom can do to try to make me fold. There's nothing she can do to break my spirit. If she wants to act rude and entitled, she can do that alone, because we're not entertaining it. Too many times people bring their negative energy around me, and it makes me very uncomfortable. So, I just stay away and not talk to people until they decide they want to behave as an adult, and not as an overgrown child. I'm wishing you all the best girl!!
- Reply
Dedicated August 2020
Chelsea · on June 18, 2020 at 8:54 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Thank you!
- Reply
Dedicated August 2020
Chelsea · on June 18, 2020 at 9:22 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Great advice ! Really keeping my distance because it isn’t right especially if I come correct around you...and there is attitude for no reason
- Reply
Dedicated October 2020
Nahnie2552 · on June 21, 2020 at 12:26 AM
Flag

Hide content
It is okay to vent here. MILs can be tough at times and it's hard to convince your FH otherwise. Remain cordial and pleasant, no matter what; even when you don't have the strength to be nice. This is a lifetime relationship that doesn't stop at the wedding. I'm hoping she'll come around.
- Reply

Dedicated July 2019
Ashley · on December 1, 2020 at 12:36 PM
Flag

Hide content
Sis as you noted so thoroughly - all of this really stems from him going outside of the bond that you guys have and relaying issues that are and should stay in your relationship. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. Maybe you guys should have a reaffirming discussion on if you still need time to work out your kinks because you don't want to get married at least one paper with that dark cloud hanging over you guys at least be on one accord and understand that there will still be arguments that's just going to happen with two adults that are trying to commit and stay committed to each other and be in a relationship but I don't know if there can be not an ultimatum but a finite line that we do not go outside of this relationship to gossip or console others who are not our designated therapist who we were approved of when we have issues.

As far as the Mother-in-law goes you can totally leave her in the dust if you feel like you need to protect your peace. Your peace is the most important thing it's going to help you be the utmost mother partner wife friend sister what have you
- Reply