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Savvy September 2014

Hindsight tips for the newly engaged...

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Jodi, on August 2, 2014 at 12:15 AM

Posted in Planning 23

This is probably not going to be a popular post by those that follow etiquette. If it helps a newly planning bride though... so be it. My biggest struggle and advice to you - scrutinize your guest list. I sent out 100 invitations. I have an RSVP of 220 when I only planned for 160 (this included...

Completely where I went wrong and my fault. Initially planned to make them very specific and send in waves. I had an A, B, C list. They were going to be specific to "J. Smith 1" or "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" with no option to add guests. The A list would have a different reply date than B, and B than C. Once I had my numbers from A, I would send B, etc. Many reasons why I didn't and I wish I had. People who I allotted 2 seats for RSVP'd with 3-5. I love kids. I have kids; but if B&G do not know your kids, why bring them? I could go on with more but have few characters left. Scrutinize the list!! Spend $ on the specific RSVP. Saves $ in other areas.

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23 Comments

Savvy September 2014
Jodi · on August 4, 2014 at 2:07 AM
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Again, I can't thank everyone enough! I really thought maybe I was being a jerk (apparently it's in my nature) but I've yet to hear a suck it up response. A lot of great input on how to handle and support from "strangers" instead of making me feel like I am being ridiculous. My sweet FH plans on stopping by a few of his friends and have a face to face, heart to heart so to speak so I don't have to make a phone call. His delivery skills surpass mine - even as a supervisor of service he still seems to trump my charming skills!
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Expert May 2014
Shannon · on August 4, 2014 at 2:21 AM
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I wholehearedtly agree with Celia. We were married in the UK, where it is common to invite guests just to the evening part of your meal. They get a buffet and the bar and live music, but aren't there for the ceremony or the formal sit-down (read: more expensive) meal. So that evening list tends to be the wider circle of work colleagues, family friends, parent's friends and colleagues. I just remember being on the dance floor and looking around and thinking "who ARE you people?".

A lot of them even my DH didn't know because they were his parent's guests so it was quite awkward to walk up to them and thank them for coming while simultaneouly trying to determine who they were.

I think now is the time to start calling people to try and reduce your numbers - the children are a good place to start. Nothing wrong with your children being there - we had the children in the immediate family present but didn't invite the rest. It doesn't have to be about the kids, just make it about your budget.
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Savvy September 2014
Jodi · on September 3, 2014 at 11:06 PM
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Just a little update for anyone who is paying attention Our 220 is down to 200. Some, I didn't even have to get firm with - I just started the conversation with I wanted to talk about their RSVP and before I had to go any further they remembered they had plans or they wouldn't have the kids, etc. Which is good. Trust me, I have no problem being firm but at the same time I can also be a people pleaser depending on the person and situation. I prefer email and text because I can do a thrice over and come across more polite and reasonable. I don't like to get firm, but was afraid of totally coming across like a jerk, especially if they would've said something off the wall. The fight between the jerk and people pleaser in my head probably is what leads to my indecisiveness at times Someone warn the FH!!
I have some more calls/texts to send tomorrow so I'm feeling much better about the whole situation. Thanks again everyone who supported and gave such great advice and wording. Some of it has been used!
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