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Beginner September 2019

Help!

Olivia, on May 3, 2019 at 4:39 PM Posted in Planning 0 16
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Hi! So right now we have a wedding for 100-115 people set for fall of 2019 (no save the dates yet) but are still considering just our parents/siblings or planned elopement. Very torn between wanting a private moment just us (were a bit more introverted than extroverted) and wanting to share that moment w our family and friends. I don’t want to miss out on having a wedding day and regret it later but at the same time I am worried I’ll regret spending so much money for just one day. Ugh!

Yes, I’ve scoured the forums for A looong time about big/small weddings, elopement, regrets, etc. looking for people who had this predicament and what their final decision was.

16 Comments

Latest activity by Clíodhna, on June 27, 2019 at 7:25 AM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    Having a small intimate wedding doesn't make it any less of a wedding day. As long as you're getting married, you're having a wedding day. Have you considered something in between immediate family only and 115 guests? Maybe 30-50 of your closest friends and family?

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  • Jasmine
    Master August 2021
    Jasmine ·
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    We originally planned on having about 50 and for us things got a bit out of control. We then decided to just have our immediate family with us on our day (10 of us total) and having a dinner reception afterward. Every one is different though. It will still be a wedding. The amount of guests or lack there of, doesn't make it less of a wedding day. Do what's best for you. If you do elope, you can always have a bigger renewal ceremony later down the line with more friends and family. Good luck.

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  • Mandi
    Master October 2020
    Mandi ·
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    I'm going to a party for FILs that eloped and are throwing a celebration. If that helps at all.
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  • earias
    Champion December 2017
    earias ·
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    We had 40 guests at our wedding and were able to splurge on them the whole weekend in Sonoma. It was phenomenal and we loved every minute of it, and our guests really enjoyed being pampered. Due to keeping the guest list small, we really got to enjoy quality time with each of our guests and the atmosphere had a cozy, intimate feel that made our wedding even more special.

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  • O
    Beginner September 2019
    Olivia ·
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    I wish for that # but Unfortunately 30-50 wouldn’t work! 80/115 are aunts/uncles, cousins, siblings, parents. No extra first/second cousins, and no kids etc. —big family! Lol. Step below would need to be just siblings parents grandparents and that’s about 20.
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  • O
    Beginner September 2019
    Olivia ·
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    This is what FH wants. He would prefer dinner party for immediate (or even 100) with no dj/dance atmosphere. I feel if I’m gathering 100 people then I’m damn sure going to have dancing! When’s your wedding?
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  • O
    Beginner September 2019
    Olivia ·
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    Yes definitely, I wonder how it will be. I see many people on the forums say that guests to those events won’t think it’s a wedding and will think it’s a “gift grab” but I disagree. It’s still a wedding- you just weren’t there in the moment they said “I do”.
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  • Jasmine
    Master August 2021
    Jasmine ·
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    See, if it's just immediate then dinner reservation is perfect. If it's 100 people, like what else would you do besides having a reception with a DJ??

    Our wedding is April 17th, 2021. It's in Hawaii but we're waiting because we also want to make it our little honeymoon trip as well. Neither of us have ever been so it'll be a lot of firsts together which makes it extra special to us.

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  • Mandi
    Master October 2020
    Mandi ·
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    I hardly even know these people, and I don't think that at all.
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  • O
    Beginner September 2019
    Olivia ·
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    That sounds AMAZING! And very exciting. I agree with you. I bet fh would love to do Hawaii as elopementmoon (is that a thing lol?).
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  • Jasmine
    Master August 2021
    Jasmine ·
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    Yes ma'am. I'm super excited. We got to fully customize our ceremony and add traditional Hawaiian ceremonial parts into ours.

    It's a thing if we say it is so yay for elopementmoon!! Smiley xd It's going to be gorgeous and totally worth it all. I can't wait.

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  • Devoted August 2021
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    How’s the planning? Did you visit the venue before booking? I love the idea of killing two birds a with one stone!!
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  • Jasmine
    Master August 2021
    Jasmine ·
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    We're pretty much done with the planning as far as the ceremony itself is concerned. We still have to get the Airbnb, airfare and car rental. Unfortunately, we weren't able to physically visit the venue because we live in Vegas and the venue is in Hawaii.

    We've seen quite a few photos from professional photographers that actually did sessions there and got a lot of positive feedback about having our ceremony there from there and also from a planner that we've been talking to.

    We're going to be on an isolated black sand beach on the Big Island of Hawaii called Kiholo Bay. We will have to drive most of the way and then park the car and walk up the rest of the way the ceremony site.

    Help! 1

    Help! 2


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  • Devoted August 2021
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    Sounds beautiful!
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  • Jeanelle
    Super September 2018
    Jeanelle ·
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    We are very much introverts that have big families and didn't want to miss out.
    A couple options:
    1. have a small ceremony and a larger reception
    2. Elope before and just have a larger reception later
    3. Have a first look and moments together before you face everybody else
    There are certainly ways to spin it to make you comfortable and have the best of both worlds.
    We did the 3rd option and it turned out great for us.
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  • Clíodhna
    WeddingWire Administrator January 2030
    Clíodhna ·
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    Have you decided what to do yet, Olivia? Will you and your FS elope?

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