HELP!!! Pre-Wedding Party (No Shower) before Destination Wedding???

"So having a party to celebrate US with the people we care about is what they are trying to do"

That's called a wedding. You chose to have a DW. That was your choice and one of the results is less people will come.

The BEST way to save up for a house is for you and your FH to put money into your savings account from the JOBS the two of you have.

Have the shower. Don't make a registry or mention anything about money. If people ask your dad or sister what gifts you would like, your family is welcome to say that you don't need anything but are saving for a house. Attend said party and be happy to be around so many people who want to celebrate your love, regardless of what they do/do not bring as gifts. Send gracious thank you notes for any gifts received.

My MOH a co-ed shower in the form of a cocktail party. Its a little less traditional but we wanted to get friends together and my family is already hosting a traditional shower.

I think having a get together before with all the people who can't make the DW is fine! Lots of people do it and people like going to them, I am sure all your friends and family would still like to celebrate the two of you nothing wrong with that!

However dont mention anything about gifts, since these people are not attending wedding theres no reason for them to gift anything however I know people especially close friends and family will still want to get you something in which case maybe your sister can give them guidance.

I think since they are not going to actual wedding the typical cash gift is not the best suggestion but how about gift cards to Rona, Home Depot etc those places?.. I am sure once you get new home you will need paint, new stuff to reno etc.

We are inviting almost 300 people to our DW (to include everyone and not hurt anyone's feelings). We know not everyone will make it, a lot are elderly. So we are having a shower a couple months before so they can attend a wedding function. We will only invite 150ish close relatives. It's to make the parents happy basically. We don't want an after wedding reception bc that would be another 30k cost for 300 guests. So I think it's perfectly fine. ETA; I know that's a lot of people for a shower. I, too, was soooo shocked but that's just how large of a fam his side is. I don't think I know that many people lol!

People are so mean! Im
in a similar situation. Recently engaged and planning my wedding for May of next year. Itfalls on a Thursday and I live in California while most of my family lives in Arizona and many of them can not make it to the wedding because of anotherfamily wedding and the fact that it falls on a week day. I don’t know what to do so I was thinking of having a party? Of some sort in Arizona before the wedding. Don’t care about gifts just about the people I love celebrating with us. Also! We don’t need many items but cash for a honeymoon and our future home. I’m not going to ask for it, just wondering what u ended up doing and how it all worked out?