help Parents are getting married three days before my wedding???

They've been together 32 years. I don't think anyone will care that they are getting married. They have been living like a married couple for so long, it's pretty much a formality at this point. People might say "congrats" to them out of politeness, but your marriage will be the event and you will be the bride on your wedding day.

If anything, I wouldn't be surprised if guests are a bit put-off by your parents choosing to do it 3 days before your wedding. If your parents call a lot of attention to themselves (invitations, announcements, a party, etc) before your wedding day, they may end up getting some icy responses to their rather selfish choice. If they didn't feel like marriage was necessary for the past 32 years, they can wait for one more. If they insist on doing it during their daughter's wedding week, I hope they are doing it quietly.

Do they plan on making a big announcement? If not, since they’re eloping, why would the timing matter? Perhaps your wedding is what has inspired them to finally tie the knot. Trust me, the day will be all about you regardless of what they do. Your day won’t be any less special.

That would kinda bother me. I mean yeah it's great and I'd be happy for them, but for them to wait 32 years and then up and decided they HAVE to do it three days before your wedding is kind of ridiculous. I would just ask them not to talk about it with family until after your wedding, I doubt they'd be willing to wait another year if they've finally decided on getting married.

If they’re doing something private, I wouldn’t say anything. Yeah, it’s really odd that now after all those years they’re ready to marry, and marry immediately. But maybe they’re feeling some sort of way about you getting married before them. I would talk to them about it, but if they’re just going to discreetly marry I don’t see how it would really impact your spotlight.

I think you'd be surprised by the lack of people interested in their wedding. My FH's aunt/uncle did a surprise elopement not too long ago, and I have yet to hear anyone "congratulate" them at any family function. They already had a civil marriage simply for legal purposes since they lived together and tried super sneaky about their elopement, but no one showed any real emotion.. it was interesting to say the least. I think this will be a similar situation for your parents. 32 years is like a common law marriage.. I definitely don't understand why they are choosing 3 days before your wedding, perhaps your planning is what got them to thinking! I would talk to them, but don't let it ruin YOUR DAY!

Actually I think it's rather nice if you take the initiative to congratulate them at your wedding. I don't think it's a bad thing. Sure their timing is off but I don't think it'll steal your thunder at all.

I would try to let it go. Your wedding likely won't be outshined just because your parents are getting married as well!

Personally I think you are being a bit selfish. Your parents arent choosing that day to be difficult or to steal your thunder but because it has significance to them.

If they’re not throwing a big competing party, it really doesn’t seem like it will matter at all. What they’re doing is filing paperwork, formally sealing a deal that has been unofficially sealed for a long time, which is to say....it really won’t matter much. People aren’t going to be super fazed. It's not a big thunder stealing moment. No one will be more excited by their finally signed marriage license than the wedding they are AT.

You *could* ask them not to ANNOUNCE it at your wedding. But it would be unreasonable to ask them not to do it (it would be selfish, and it’s unfair to think they don’t have their own reasons for wanting this particular timing).

personally though? I’d want to celebrate a big moment for them. I’d go out of my way to announce them as a new mr & Mrs and maybe even present them with a cake or something. It wouldn’t steal my moment or glory at all.

It is not a competition for a limited quantity of attention. There is plenty of love to go around. . . . Try being generous to the people you love, not trying to focus everyone, all the time, on you, you, you. It is the day you get married, with a ceremony focused on you, and a party with some activities or traditional things focused on you. It is not your kingdom to control for the day. . . I don't know how many weddings you have been to and not been wedding party. But in the half hour or so before one, time in cocktail hour or waiting for people to finish the photos, and all but a out a half hour of the reception, people are talking about their jobs, the kids having recitals or graduating from school, the sports that interest them, the funny thing they saw by the side of the road, who is having babies, getting fired, and the same things they talk about on the bus, at work, and any time they visit family or friends not seen recently. Aside from watching dances, or listening to speeches, they may spend 10 minutes early on, and 15 minutes sometime later, talking about the couple. That is all. I have been in a wedding more than sixty times, a guest at over a hundred more, and stood around conversations over food and drink no less than 500 meals over time. People pay attention to the couple intermittently. And the rest of the time, they talk about anything and everything else.
So your parents elope, congratulations are due. Yes , people will stop talking about TV shows and toilet training their kids, to talk about your newly wed parents. It takes nothing away from you. They were talking and thinking about things other than you before they started talking about your parents, and 20 minutes later they will be thinking and talking about different things than either parents or you . . . . I assume you won't get upset if people talk about what they will be doing for the fourth of July, or Christmas. Why be upset that everyone spends a few minutes talking about your parents ? Be a better person. Be happy when the people you love do good things .

Honestly I think you're freaking out over nothing. The wedding will be all about you. Even if people congratulate them, so what? What if your friend got engaged a month before and people said congrats to them at your wedding? It's not going to take away from your moment and honestly it sounds a bit selfish of you to act like they are out to get you and trying to ruin your wedding. They love each other, they decided it's time, congratulate them and move on. You can even make an announcement at the wedding about it. Something funny like "they FINALLY tied the knot, congrats mom and dad". It would be cute and show grace and love.

I can understand why you're upset, but I wouldn't say anything. I agree with others who have said that a lot of people probably won't care that much or be overly excited because they've been together for over 3 decades. And think of it this way - at most they'll probably get a congratulations, a hug, and get asked a few questions. If this is a conversation that's had when you aren't even there, you won't know anyway!

I also can relay a story that would probably make people mad, but maybe it will help you. My cousin got married this past December. On the date of the wedding I was a little over 10 weeks pregnant. My parents and brothers knew, as well as one of my aunts who I am very close to. That's all. I had zero intention of telling my family at this wedding. However, my mother, who proceeded to get drunker than I had seen her in a very long time, decided to do it anyway. I was pretty mad because I didn't want to take attention away from my cousin and his new wife (and because she shared my news, but whatever). I had gotten pregnant after struggling with fertility treatments and my mom was just excited but she still shouldn't have done it. However, all that I got were some hugs, a "congratulations, when are you due?" and that's pretty much it. It didn't monopolize the evening. And for everyone reading this - I was NOT HAPPY that this happened at all.

So anyway, just try to remember that even if people care, it won't monopolize the evening. People still know that they are there for your wedding and to celebrate you and your new husband. Good luck!

Thanks everyone. It just really came as a shock to me for it to be so close to my wedding. Thanks for giving me some perspective.