Help! My sister is not supportive

We didn't just patch things up... It has been about a year since we started repairing our relationship but I never mentioned it to her since she didn't like him. I've learned my lesson to never vent my problems with family

Maybe the lesson here was to be honest about repairing the relationship when it first happened. How is she supposed to believe it's fixed when you never mentioned that for the past year?

Agree with Jeanne. If you were my sibling and the last I've heard about your SO is that he's an ass and horrible enough you need to move out... And then I hear you're marrying him? I'd be really upset.

I'd be freaking livid if I took my sister in and she was lying for a year about being in a relationship with someone. You're 29, go live on your own for a while and figure out how to be honest and mature about your decisions, then rethink getting married.

This is really confusing. You started dating when you were 18 and he was 27, and you've been lying about half living with him and being in a relationship? And why don't I have a puppy car?

This is why you keep issues in your relationship IN the relationship and seek counseling from a professional. When you involve outsiders (family and friends) they rarely forgive and hold a grudge.

With that said, your sister and best friend do not have to like him nor do you need their approval be with him or marry him. Just be prepared for negative vibes when they are around.

I would be PISSED if my sister lied to me about something as huge and important about getting married!!

Yes I was 18 and he was 27 when we started dating. I agree that she has a right to be mad. I just wish everyone got along so I could be happy about getting married.

I should've kept her in the loop but didn't want the negativity. Last thing I want to do is hurt her or our relationship but am I really supposed to put my life on pause because she's upset? She bluntly told me to not marry him

18*

It's not about putting your life on "hold" to make her happy. It's about sitting down to reflect on whether you are prepared to get married. You say that you've spent 1 year repairing your relationship but, that really is not a long time at all.

If I were you I would wait and have a longer engagement. It doesn't have to be long but atleast long enough for you to start integrating him into your family. Him being an introvert has nothing to do with him not mingling with your family. It's something he has to get used to. What will he do if you have a baby and the whole family wants to come visit?

What does his family say? Are they O.k. with your marriage?

If you've been together for 11 years it isn't unreasonable for your family to expect him to show up and participate in family activities. Especially if you're going to get married and he's going to officially be a part of the family. I feel like there's more to this story.

I am sure your sister just wants to see you happy. In her eyes you separated for a reason.... it's hard for others to see him the way you do because they are not in love with him. Give it time and never speak badly about your fiance in front of family.

You say you didn't want to hurt your sister, but it sounds like you already did by not telling her that you and your now fiance were working things out a year ago. If you had mentioned this to your sister a year ago, she would not have been as angered about the situation as she currently is, and probably would have worked through most of that anger by now and could even be on board with your wedding.

Agree with @gonefishes... You need to reevaluate getting married. If you're need to hide it from you're sister, I don't think you're mature enough to get married....

1) Why do you need your sister's approval?

2) Do you think she's looking from it more rationally and its not a good idea to get married?

I agree with OriginalKD 100%!

I seriously need more info on this puppy car thing.

About the puppy car... We bought a 3rd car (xterra) to transport our doggies so the pups can travel comfortably. I also do a lot of "dog" rescues. If I ever see a dog running on the street I pick them up to return to owners.

@ Karina- I Need/want her approval because aside from my fiancé, she's the most important person in my life

Aw man this is a tough one. Your sister probably feels betrayed because you started dating fh in secret after telling her all of the horrible things the 2 of you went through. And you sort of blind sided her by only telling her about the wedding 17 days beforehand. I don't think you'll be able to get her to come around in time for the wedding. Fh will have to make an effort as well. If she sees evidence that things really are changed between you and him and you really are ready to be married, she might come around. But it will take time to rebuild the relationship with your sister just like it took time for you to rebuild with you fiance.