Help! My sister is not supportive

Why is she not supportive? Because you guys were separate and now are back together? Sometimes the people closest to us see things that we don't want to or can't see.

Why do you need your sister's approval?

Your sister AND your best friend not being supportive of it is a red flag that something's not right here.

Honestly, it's probably because of the things that happened between you and your FH in the past. If things were so rocky that you moved out she is probably thinking there is a bigger underlying issue and that it'll get bad again, and she doesn't want to see you go through it. I know that's how I am with my sister. She had a BF who was a complete jerk to her during their "rocky" times. They got through it but I never really liked him again because of how he treated her and what happened. So they are probably just being over protective.

This is why you have to be careful when venting to friends and family about your SO. You forgive much quicker than they do

My sister and mom were skeptical when my FH and I decided to have a baby/tie the knot, and my sister especially was not supportive. FH and I broke up for about a year in the middle of our 8 year relationship and we both had some growing to do. My sister is very protective of me since I'm ten years younger. I did what I believed was best for my life and asked her only to respect my choices. I didn't need her approval or even her support, just respect. I think you need to decide what you really need from your sister. She's probably seen all the crying and hard times you went through. Put yourself in her shoes, would you jump on the bandwagon if your roles were reversed?

She's not supportive because she doesn't like him. She feels that he should be social and go to family Events and chat with everyone. My fiancé is a bit of an introvert and a homeboy. I don't care that he doesn't want to be super involved in family parties Etc.. We have been together 11 years.

I really do want my sisters approval. She's more like a mom to me and took me in when I moved out. ??

She's not supportive because she doesn't like him. She feels that he should be social and go to family Events and chat with everyone. My fiancé is a bit of an introvert and a homebody. I don't care that he doesn't want to be super involved in family parties Etc.. We have been together 11 years.

I really do want my sisters approval. She's more like a mom to me and took me in when I moved out. ??

Why doesn't she like him?

I once dated a guy my mom didn't like. My mom is the coolest person I know. So if she doesn't like you or senses something off, I take that into account. I didn't see it at first, so I kept dating him. Well two years later and some vagina pictures in his text messages, I saw what my mom was talking about. He was an asshole.

Be honest with yourself. If your sister's opinion is important to you, talk to her about it. And remember if you decide to stay with this guy, your sister will have to get over it and respect your decision.

A homeboy or homebody?

I got homeboys. I love those guys, lol.

@jessica- thanks for your response.. I complete agree with what you said, I'm just feeling that I need her approval because she took me in to live with her rent free... In that year, he and I have been working Thing out in private so I can imagine that she feels a bit angry since she didn't know we were thinking of getting married.

I told her 17 days before I'm supposed to get married. I can see why she's not fond of him but I'm the one that is going to be married to him, not my sister.

If I marry him without her approval I think it will hurt my relationship with my sister

If she had front-row seats to the implosion of your relationship, helped you recover, and is now seeing you dive back in with an even bigger commitment only months later....I can see why she'd have major reservations.

I sympathize a bit, my fiance is an introvert and a homebody too. But he still comes to family events with me, because he knows it's important and I love them. If your guy won't budget even a little out of his comfort zone for you, and is going to become part of a family he's actively avoided getting to know? Yeah, that's a red flag for your family, and rightly so.

@emilyg

She definitely had front row seats and helped me out when I needed a place to go but She never saw me cry.

He does go to some family events but since my family is HUGE and Mexican we have parties a few times a month. He will attend big events such as wedding, graduation etc.. Sigh. I just don't know how to handle the situation with her.

As a protective older sister myself I can see where yours is coming from. She helped you out in a big way when she thought you were struggling and then was blindsided by the fact that you guys are getting married like 2 weeks before it happens. If I were her I would feel angry, lied to and used. I think you really need to sit down and talk to her about this, she probably is skeptical that you were able to change things around so drastically in a short amount of time and doesn't want to see you hurt again.

May I ask why you waited only 17 days before the wedding to tell her?

She just found out you're getting married? Yeah I can see why she'd be upset, coupled with the fact that if he's not coming to family events then she probably views him as uninterested in getting to know your family. Even if someone is an introvert (DH and I both are) that doesn't excuse them from developing relationships with future family members.

You are probably quicker to forgive his faults. Obviously the issues were bad enough that you moved out.

I'm wondering why you decided to get married instead of trying to live together again.. From what I understand you're still living with your sister?

Wait, you only told her about the wedding 17 days before it is suppose to happen? I would have serious reservations about my sister getting married to someone who she just patched things up with.

What's the rush to get married? Try living together first to see if that works before having a legally binding relationship.

I live at both places. Im living with my sister still because I was afraid she'd be mad if I moved back in. We have a whole life together with 3 dogs and we bought a 3rd car together (the puppy car)

You should respect that she has been there for you in a terrible situation and continued to give you space to heal and figure out what you wanted; then you spring a wedding on her in less than 3 weeks. Seriously, that is disrespectful of your relationship with her. You should re-evaluate why you think this behavior is acceptable and when you figure that out, you will know how to move forward with her and your friend.

Puppy car? Who do you have these shared responsibilities with?