Help! My mother hates my fiancé.

He can apologize all he wants, she is having none of it, it seems.

Hopefully in the next few months he can show her what type of person he is.

Act like adults and eventually you will be treated as such.

@Nonna - I'm not following. Do you think her FH was out of line and her mom should be upset?

Second Nonna's post.

Pepeto has spoken.

In the larger scheme of things, does it matter? You have already stated that you and your mother aren't close. She seems to have a short fuse. Nonna's right, cut her loose and leave it be.

Constance, as in many cases, they were both a bit wrong.

Love you, Jay xox from Pepeto

This sounds like a massive overreaction or there's something missing to the story. does your mom think that FH wasn't taking your safety seriously? what were the "crazy ex" behaviors that immediately would make someone want a restraining order?

in what ways is this affecting your upcoming wedding?

She needs to move on. It's not any of her business at this point and should be happy for you and your FH

Maybe your mom just doesn't like you getting married so young. I know my mom wouldn't.

Your mom needs to get a grip. If she can't be happy for you and FH maybe it's best to leave her out of wedding planning and not hold your breath about her attendance.

She is very overprotective, almost to the point of being overbearing. And she hold's grudges like the ocean holds water: Forever. I think she has this idea that because he's my FH he has to bend to her will. He wasn't disrespectful when he denied her, and it wasn't until she started cursing at him that he became upset. We are both financially independent, self-sufficient adults. I have tried to have calm, reasonable discussions about what's really going on, but they just end up in me being called names. I'm honestly just not sure what to do at this point.

@Nonna - I'm still confused. Is OP wrong because FH make a snappy remark back? I just don't think it's a tit for tat thing. Demanding a restraining order sounds like an overreaction. A lot of people call their exes crazy, but that usually is a bit of an exaggeration.

She refused to share the news with family, going as far as to say that it was her family, not mine. It hurts to think that her manipulation will cause my side of the ceremony to be almost empty. The ex didn't do anything violent. She just showed up at the church and played guitar outside, and then did the same to his house.

@OP-My FH cannot stand my mother, to be fair, most people cannot. However, no matter how much she pisses him off, and she does, he has never yelled at her. He's become snippy and sarcastic, but never yelled. Your mother overreacted, but so did your FH.

I would just distance myself from her as much as possible and leave her out of the wedding planning.

Hey date twin! Tell her to chill and that you are both perfectly capable adults. If something gets "crazy," which it doesn't sound like it will, you can take care of it. Mom needs to understand you're getting married and she won't be responsible for you much longer. Maybe this situation will help her realize that. And as far as her hating your fiance, time will pass and hopefully she will come to her senses.

@Armani well it sounds like your mom just needs to get a grip and you can't rely on her to support you on this. i'm sure that's hurtful to you, but it doesn't seem like your mom really has a problem with that. don't ask her opinion on anything moving forward. if she doesn't like something, she can kick rocks.

@JessieJV FH didn't either. It was just a snappy remark, barely even raised his voice.

@OP @MrsFall i also wanted to let you know that the oceans most likely will dry up in about a billion years....Buzzfeed taught me that today, LOL!!!!

https://www.buzzfeed.com/kellyoakes/everything-changes-and-nothing-stands-still?utm_term=.lx6BV1gKl#.fjvZ5j7YV

Mrs.FallBride I also noticed that line. haha Carrie makes a good point. Estrangement is painful and I'm in no way suggesting it because I think it should be a last resort thing. But at the very least you need to let go of your mother emotionally. It's not ok to insult and manipulate. That is not acceptable family behavior. Some healthy distance can give you peace.

The first way to do that is by not caring if she likes FH. Easier said than done but fake it til you make it. Repeat it to yourself. Mom doesn't like FH. Too bad so sad.