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Lynn
Dedicated May 2019

help my bridesmaid is pregnant

Lynn, on May 4, 2018 at 9:06 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 25
Sooooo i just found out an hour ago that one of my bridesmaids is pregnant. She is due 3 months before the wedding. I am overjoyed and happy and excited for her and her new bundle of joy but the selfish side of me is upset because i don’t want take anything away from her and the baby because it’s my wedding. I had planned on asking her to be my bridesmaid in 2 weeks at my girls get together. Should i still consider her as a bridesmaid or not? Please be honest with me guys.

25 Comments

Latest activity by MrsD, on May 4, 2018 at 12:05 PM
  • Jennifer
    Master September 2018
    Jennifer ·
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    Yes absolutely ask her. Why do you think it will take away from her? If she doesn't want to do it she can always say no.

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  • Lynn
    Dedicated May 2019
    Lynn ·
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    I was just thinking money wise. Babies are expensive i know I’m a mother of 2 and the money she will be using for my wedding could go to the new baby. That’s kinda how i was thinking about it. Thanks for the input i appreciate it.
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  • futurmrslowe
    Super December 2018
    futurmrslowe ·
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    Why would having a baby change your mind? Especially if it’s 3 months after the baby is born ? Ask her to be a BM and go in with your other girls to throw her a baby shower before the baby comes.
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  • SB
    VIP March 2019
    SB ·
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    I would definitely ask her. She always has the option to say no. I asked my SIL knowing she's trying to get pregnant and risking the chance of her delivering close to my wedding and not being able to make it.

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  • HJKvr
    Expert September 2018
    HJKvr ·
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    Definitely still ask her. Don't worry about money - she can make that decision herself. She can always say no if she thinks it will be too much to deal with.

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  • R
    Devoted October 2018
    Raquel ·
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    Yes! Its still her choice in the end if she wants to accept. If you want her there Id ask and let her decide if she can do it.
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  • B
    Just Said Yes June 2018
    Brittany ·
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    Better to ask, she'll say no if she needs to. If you don't ask her she might think that you don't like her. Give her the option and let her decide.
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  • K
    Dedicated September 2018
    Kat ·
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    You should still ask she can always say no. But be understanding if she does say no. I asked my only sister to be my MOH over a year ago for my DW and now shes foing to be 9 months preggo in September and idny coming to my wedding at all since she cant fly. Believe me I understand feeling torn between excitement and happiness for her and also angry for my own selfish reasons.
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  • T
    Super December 2018
    T P ·
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    I encourage you to celebrate the new life your friend has created with her and invite her to celebrate your new chapter of life with you. It may be beneficial, however, to speak privately with each of your potential attendants about the honor so that you can speak openly about the costs that will be associated and the expectations of their participation before they accept of decline the role. This will give each the opportunity to consider their unique situation without fear, shame, or pressure from other members of your friends group to respond one way or another.
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  • K
    Savvy May 2018
    Karisa ·
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    I agree with everyone else. Ask her! One of my bridesmaids is pregnant and she asked me if I still want her to be one. She thought she'd ruin the photos with her pregnant belly, but I told her I'd still love to have her and if anything, the photos will just be cuter ^_^
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  • Forestwed
    Master May 2018
    Forestwed ·
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    I would defintely still ask but in private and tell her you completely understand if she’s unable to becuase of timing and money.
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  • Christin
    Devoted May 2019
    Christin ·
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    I would absolutely still have her be your bridesmaid. Life happens and part of the reason that you want her to stand up with you is that you're in this together, right? So you're going to be there for her pregnancy and becoming a mother and she will be there at your wedding as you begin your happy ever after.

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  • Mrs. Rose To Be
    Expert June 2019
    Mrs. Rose To Be ·
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    You can definitely ask. I think it would be a bigger issue if she was super pregnant at the wedding, just taking her comfort into mind. If she declines due to financial reasons that understanble on her end but she’ll still feel loved and included if you ask.
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  • Talullah
    VIP May 2018
    Talullah ·
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    I would defintely ask her. Especially since you were already going to. She will say no if needs to. You may need to give her a little time to decide because she may need to think about it. Sounds like you will be understanding of her decision if it is no. Congrats to her & new baby
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  • FutureMrs.V
    Super June 2018
    FutureMrs.V ·
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    My wedding is in June and my FSIL just had a baby last month. She's also a bridesmaid. It hasn't changed anything other than her having a sidekick now. He even came to dinner for my bachelorette party wearing a "most eligible bachelor" onesie. It was adorable. I would definitely ask her. Just be conscious of costs for her and don't pick super expensive dresses.
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  • firstoneat56
    Master August 2017
    firstoneat56 ·
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    Adults can and should make their own decisions about these things. Nothing has changed. Proceed as usual and like any other person you ask, she’ll either accept or decline.
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  • magnolia5
    VIP June 2019
    magnolia5 ·
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    Ask her! I would do it in private and without a proposal gift so she won't feel pressured.

    Yes, babies are expensive. However, I'm sure she knows that. I would give her the chance to assess her own financial situation and let her determine if she will be able to swing it.
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  • M
    Dedicated November 2014
    Mandy ·
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    Definitely ask, but when you ask make sure you're clear on your expectations. In particular, I'd say "I'd love you to be a bridesmaid. I'll make sure we pick a dress that will be easy to fit and flattering regardless of what size you are, and within a reasonable budget, and you can wear whatever shoes are comfortable and there is no expectation you'll be throwing, or even attending, and pre-wedding parties if you can't make it! I just want you to be an important part of my day. Any accommodations we can make for you and the new baby, just let me know".


    For the record, I'm pregnant with my 2nd and was just a bridesmaid at 5 months pregnant, and will be a bridesmaid again at 2 months post-partum. Luckily for that one I an pick my own dress/outfit (I'll be choosing a skirt and top) because I'll be breastfeeding. The wedding is at a hotel, so I'm planning to have a babysitter with the newborn at the hotel, and just popping in and out to feed as necessary (with some bottles prepared in case the baby needs to eat during the ceremony when I can't pop out). It'll be MUCH more convenient in a breast-feeding friendly outfit.

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  • Jennifer
    Master September 2018
    Jennifer ·
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    Ahhh I see, yes I would ask her and let her decide. I had a BM drop out shortly after me asking because her boyfriend asked her to marry him and understandably she could not see herself handling both. Lots of luck!

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  • Jen
    VIP July 2018
    Jen ·
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    I would definitely ask her! Let her decide what her finances look like and how best to spend her money. Either way, at least she'll know you wanted her in your wedding!

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