Help me understand bridal showers

Im in the same boat.. so BUMP!

But like you ive been told 95% of the time its actually kitchen gifts or home gifts.

And that a bach. party is for the sex stuff and lingerie. I hosted my sisters Briday Shower and the did get a mix of both.

We registered at Amazon and Kohl's for household upgrades like a new KitchenAid Mixer, plates, silverware, serving platters, etc.

I think lingerie is supposed to be given at a bachelorette party or lingerie shower.

Being as we had a co-ed shower with 80% family and 60ish people, imagine how horrified I would have been if I pulled lingerie out of a bag in front of everyone!

Bridal showers are centered around the bride, wedding showers are centered around the couple. You get lingerie at a bridal shower and home goods at a wedding shower.

Some people do "theme" showers. Ex:

Lingerie showers, (get the bride lingerie), showers based on the time of day, (get something that corresponds to a time of day. ex: 2:00pm, 1:00 am, etc...), showers that correspond to seasons, (get the bride something she would nee in August, June, etc...)

I personally am not having one like that. Mine is more "anything goes". My registry includes things like new bed linens, baking/cooking things, random stuff I want but really wouldn't pay for. I registered at BB&B and JCPenney.

The sexy stuff is for your bachelorette party. Your bridal shower is usually for stuff for your house and new life together (at least where I'm from). We registered at Bed Bath & Beyond for house stuff and Dillards for luggage.

Bridal showers are household things, lingerie showers are for intimates.

Well, you can have all kinds of parties.

Bridal shower is usually rated PG. I registered at Belk, Target and BB&B. My FMIL threw my shower. We sat and ate finger foods, mostly her relatives (my new relatives) and her church people came. But they brought me nice gifts (house stuff).

My BM threw me a surprise lingerie shower with the girls. There, I got sexy lingerie, whips, boobie tassels and such.

Well, I'm thinking if bridal showers are for you and your fh's future life together, it would be a shower for the both of you. I don't want household things. I think thats what the wedding registry is for. Otherwise, I would get double everything

My Bridal shower was 2 weeks ago. I got a ton of lingerie and some wine related gifts. I have a registry at Crate & Barrel & Target. I did get a few items off it. But most time your registry are for your wedding gifts that are either mailed to your home or given at the wedding. It really depends on what type of shower you have. Mine was 50 owomen. I had about 4 gifts mailed to my home so far.

It depends on the comfort level of you and your guests! Super conservative? Better just have a party where they shower you with gifts for your house, and leave the sexy stuff for the bachlorette party.

Super casual and not offended by anything? You can make it sexy and have them shower you with gifts for your wedding night.

I'm registered at Macy's, Bed Bath and Beyond, Target, Etsy, and thinkgeek.com.

I didn't register anywhere and my guests liked that idea. It turned out to be a competition on who could get me the most creative gift. I loved the way it turned out because I got really cool things.

We registered at BBB, Target and Macy's. My FMIL kept telling me people would be bringing racy things like lingerie but thankfully no one did. My one cousin did give me massage gel/lube and pregnancy tests but I was ok with that because it's something we'll actually use! lol

The wedding registry is for the showers AND the wedding - you don't have a separate wedding registry. I guess you can, but that's a lot of work.

I registered at BBB and Sur La Table. Many things were bought for the shower, and many things for the wedding. Same registry.

Showers were traditionally for the women of the families - for them to get together and get to know each other to celebrate the bride. In my area, if you are invited to the shower, that's where you give your present (not at the wedding). It's changed over the years now, and it's two functions. But some will still give you their present at the shower so that they don't have to bring it to the wedding.

Depending on how many showers you have depends on the style. Usually, if you have one - it's no theme. But if you have several, you can have a kitchen shower, a lingerie shower, a couples shower, etc.

I had two - one with women and one at work. My sister had three - one for friends, one for work people, one for family.

We're registering for things for the home. I'm having a small bridal shower. For us, there's no difference between bridal shower/wedding registry. I'm just registering at Bed Bath & Beyond. We already live together, so it's not going to be a big list.

Wow, this really seems to differ based on area of the country perhaps?

Here in Minnesota/Wisconsin everyone I know makes registries at one or more places (Target, Crate & Barrel, amazon, etc). Both wedding gifts and shower gifts are purchased from those registries. Traditionally I see showers thrown by friends of the mother, future mother in law, best friends, etc. I see almost all gifts come from the registry, handmade items, etc.

All the sexy stuff I've ALWAYS seen at bachelorette parties but never at bridal showers. I guess this depends on traditions in your area and what group is attending the party.

^This, it seems. I'm from South Texas and you only have one registry where people buy their gifts from so they are usually house related. They get removed when they are bought so you won't get double. Also, if you buy a gift for the shower, you don't have to bring one to the wedding where I'm from, and vice versa. Like I just went to a shower a few weeks ago for my FH's cousin and I didn't bring a gift because we are giving them a gift at the wedding. Some people do a gift for the shower off the registry and money for the wedding, but it isn't really expected here, it's just if they are feeling generous and want to.

A bridal shower and a wedding shower are the same thing. They are just interchangeable terms.

A traditional shower is to give gifts to the couple to help them start their lives together - mainly things for the home (dishes, flatware, serving ware, bed linens, towels, etc.). You would register at stores with home goods (BBB, Macy's pottery barn, crate and barrel, etc).

Sometimes there are theme showers in which specific items are encouraged for gifts - lingerie shower, travel shower, etc. It should specify on the invitation whether there is a specific theme. I have never seen a lingerie registry though.

Thanks everyone!

Thanks Emily, that really helped a lot

Every shower I've ever been to has been for home stuff, not lingerie. I registered at BBB and Macy's for home stuff.

@Emily hit the nail on the head for the best explanation and what every shower I've been to is about and what the 2 showers I had were.