Help! How did you get your wedding party and mother to pick a dress shopping day?

How large is your bridal party? If you have a very large group, logistically its going to be really difficult to get everyone to agree on a single date due to other commitments, work, vacations, etc. Just pick the date most convenient for everyone. You can even make two trips if you need to, and can definitely make your mother's shopping trip separate from that of your bridesmaids. If your wedding is next July, you've arguably got at least nine months of possible shopping time, so plenty of runway left to find a day that works!

Give them the option of 3 dates and times, pick the one that works for most people, and go with it.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for replying Stacey! My bridal party is 7 women but 6 live locally. Most of my party are sisters. I did already divide the party into 3 groups and my mom, MIL is a separate trip. But I am still having issues getting dates selected. I know I have lots of time and have extended the time frame as well. I just would like to get the dresses selected as soon as possible since many people will be getting married next year due to postponing their wedding with Covid.


I am really looking to get multiple perspectives on this to help me find a good solution or to be told I found the best solution already and am too in my head about it 🤦🏾‍♀️😅

View Quoted Comment Hi Caytlyn!! Oh my gosh I could definitely try that. Thank you for the idea!!

Are bridal salons in your area even allowing that many people right now due to Covid? I'd just go with your mom if the girls can't seem to agree on a date.

View Quoted Comment I would be mindful of not going to early because styles can change and sell out, and it is not a good idea to order the dresses to far in advance because peoples bodies change and a dress ordered now may not fit in over a year.

That said, Caytlyn's suggestion is what I would do as well. Give a few options. Whoever can make it, can make it.

View Quoted Comment Hi Sara, In my area we are still limited to a max of 5 people at a time which is why I made 4 groups. But there are still issues picking dates. My mom is actually the main one with issues for dress shopping dates with me. But I am going to use some of the advice from others and list a few dates and times and go from there.

View Quoted Comment Thank you Hannah!! That is definitely something I am keeping in consideration, for the dress shopping the first time around is for finding styles they like on themselves to narrow selection and then we would go again to officially find there dresses 4 months before my wedding. My hope for the first round of browsing is to find my dress and get a feel for everyone elses styles or at least that's the hope.


Right now my goal is to dress shop between late May and September. Then again between February and April in hopes of ordering there dresses that fit them best.
Glad to have more input on the selected date and time idea! I am definitely going to be doing that.

Pick a date you are available. They can choose to attend or not. Also, many shops have a limit of 1-2 people allowed to accompany you due to Covid. So someone will need to take part in a video call.

For bridesmaids dresses, another option is going through Azazie. The dresses are good quality (better than David's Bridal I think), reasonable priced, and they have tons of options. Also, they have try at home options and you can create an online showroom for them to choose from if you want to narrow it to a certain look.

Do what's right for you! Multiple groups and dates sounds stressful to me. (we're all different of course, but I just brought two friends for one appointment and then bought a dress from the store's inventory that I didn't even try on! My mom was super disapointed not to go, but I was in a rush to buy an old style they were selling off, and she got over it as soon as she saw the dress on me when it came in the mail!)

They may be dragging their feet because your wedding is more than a year out and you’ve already planned bridesmaid dresses to be a multiple trip event?! As someone who didn’t like committing to a wedding dress a year out, the plan to commit to a date in September (6months away) to find dresses for an event next July (15months away) would be a pretty low priority...
Maybe just focus on the special day for you to find your dress and don’t add too much on them at once?

View Quoted Comment

Good eye! Yes you don't need to pick bridesmaids or dresses before 6 months before the wedding. Plus dress styles change every seaon and bodies change over time.

This happened with me. I was so determined not to become that bride that orders everyone around and tried to give free reign to everyone but it ended up backfiring. So I had to become that bride, and I called all the shots and things got done. It honestly depends on your group. Some work best with little structure and free reign within your set guidelines. Others you need to tell exactly what to do and when it needs to be done by.

TV shows make great drama over having everyone together. In real life, it is a terrible idea. For your wedding dress shopping, take 1 or 2 people Ideally, a third if you must. You may think you know what you want. But the sometimes pouffy and very stylized dresses are not familiar to most. And you may find one or two types you thought awful, turn out to be very flattering. And those you pick, some great and some terrible. So the best starter is for your consultant to have a quick try on of all the basic types.
And a few more of your favorite types. Then your second appointment, you will go in with some styles in mind, and see what details you like. Slim chances you will buy on the first time out. It is very important you NOT have anyone who will talk over you and push their opinion over yours in the first 2 appointments . So it is really great that they are only slowly picking. Take the first 2 people who asked for a date and go.
Second trip may not be at the same place, but for that one take a couple people, maybe mom. See when appts are available, ask a couple and go. You may only have 2 trips or you may have 6. But particularly the first two, do not take anyone who might possibly push you away from what you like to what they like. It is you who will wear i. It is best not to order yours until 9-10 months. And your ladies, in the 4-5 months range, as they arrive 2 weeks to 12 weeks after they are ordered. So take advantage of your ladies and mom scheduling disagreement, snatch 2 and go.

I would pick a couple of dates that work best for you. Throw them out in a group chat and see which date works best with the most people. If they can't attend the dress shopping, maybe they can go with you to pick it up and you can try it on for them then!

View Quoted Comment Oh man, so glad to hear I am not alone in this type of situation. Thank you for that. That makes sense, I don't want to be controlling either, it's never been me so I wanted everyone to pull together especially since I gave a big heads up to allow it to work better for others as I know everyone has their stuff to do so I really wanted it on the books to be worked around. Just would like to come first instead of last for a change.

View Quoted Comment I completely understand and no you’re not alone. I gave my bridesmaids a heads up a year in advance. Sent a nice welcome letter with all the information chose Birdy Grey as the store as they are affordable and I chose the color and material. I let them know they could choose any dress in that color or material on that site since everyone has different styles and comfort levels and I told them to let me know their choices. Six months later I checked back in and no one made any selections some felt overwhelmed by too many options. 2 of my bridesmaids told me individually to just pick. So that’s what I ended having to do. Sometimes the choice of endless options can actually make people feel overwhelmed as well especially if they have so much in their personal life to going on and in a pandemic, the extra job of picking a dress could be stressful, I can only imagine. I’m also the same who would prefer clear cut instructions and expectations. So I guess you feel your way out and see what works best your you and your group.

View Quoted Comment Judith, thank you! That does make sense. The more I think about it the more I come to the conclusion of going alone the first or even second time. I did find a date my mom and mother in law can all make with some adjustments and help from my mother in law to make it happen. The picking people who are not pushy towards their ideas does not include my mom but my mother in law will even that out. I am also bringing my dad since we have always been close and he seems to get my style more than my mom. A bit odd but I think it will work out well for a balance of thoughts.


As for the bridesmaids I am definitely going to take the advice and use it to my advantage! Thank you for that positive note and reminder.
I've definitely been the one to work around others schedules to make things happen so I figured others would act similarly with me but not everyone is like that.