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Just Said Yes October 2024

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Emily, on February 13, 2024 at 4:21 PM Posted in Planning 0 8

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My fiancé and I are planning an October 2024 wedding. We got engaged this past week and are trying to get a guest list together. I really wanted a tiny and intimate wedding. We are doing it on the beach infront of our house. I only wanted people present in my life aka parents, siblings, and both of our grandparents. That’s it! But now both of my parents are saying I have to invite my mom’s siblings who I haven’t talked to in over a year and don’t have a relationship with. My dad is wanting me to invite his sister who takes care of my grandma who I see once in awhile but again don’t have a friend/relationship with. His sis I get the most but after I told them what I want my mom she said “well we are paying for it” and “I would be very sadend and hurt if my siblings don’t even receive an invitation” which I am not expecting them to pay for it. because it’s so small I would pay for it I don’t care about the payment.

What do I do?

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8 Comments

Latest activity by Jacks, on February 14, 2024 at 7:10 PM

Super January 2024
Andrea · on February 13, 2024 at 5:36 PM
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If you’re not expecting them to pay, respond to Mom with “We plan to pay for it ourselves, and we want to include only a small number of people who are important to us both.” Every time she brings it up, say those words exactly and change the subject.
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Champion December 2022
Michelle · on February 14, 2024 at 1:38 AM
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Offer to help your parents arrange a family reunion picnic at an unrelated time in the future. Be firm that you don’t plan to invite extra people that you don’t have a relationship with. Say it once and then walk away or hang up the phone when they repeat the topic. If you don’t allow them to overstep the boundaries you have set, then they have no power over the situation.
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Dedicated June 2018
Rae · on February 14, 2024 at 10:30 AM
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No pay, no say. Tell your mom that's kind of her to offer to pay but you plan to pay for the wedding that you and FH want.
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Just Said Yes October 2024
Emily · on February 14, 2024 at 2:59 PM
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We are having a celebration of marriage party after the wedding for the people that we don’t invite because we’re wanting it so small. I’ve told them that anyone they want to invite is welcome there but they don’t like that idea and want them at both
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Just Said Yes October 2024
Emily · on February 14, 2024 at 3:02 PM
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We are having a celebration of marriage party after the wedding for the people that we don’t invite because we’re wanting it so small. I’ve told them that anyone they want to invite is welcome there but they don’t like that idea and want them at both
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Champion December 2022
Michelle · on February 14, 2024 at 4:32 PM
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Repeat no like a broken record and don’t back down.
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Super December 2022
LM · on February 14, 2024 at 4:35 PM
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Why would you have two parties just to appease your parents? Assuming you are all adults, adult relationships are two ways meaning both you and your aunts/ uncles had opportunities to build friendships over time. Seeing that none of you chose to do so, and your parents didn't even promote closeness even when you were younger, this idea is purely founded in your parents' own guilt-ridden loyalty. Don't back down and if it's because it's at your family home, then find a different venue to get the wedding you truly want.
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Champion November 2054
Jacks · on February 14, 2024 at 7:10 PM
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You're on the right track for sure. Pay for the event yourself and hold your ground. Just keep saying "No". Don't give reasons or excuses, because then they will try and "fix" the perceived problem, like offering money.
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