Help! Can i ask the guests to wear certain colors?

Just to add...I don't want people to know that I'm not wearing white, but I don't want then to wear the same color as I. Also, I think a black and white party would look cool as Hell

I think its generally frowned upon to dictact what guests wear.

Yeah, it’s generally considered rude to dictate what your guests wear.

It's generally a bridezilla overreach to tell guests what to wear color wise unless you're doing something super formal like black tie.

The weddings I’ve been to, the bride has let guests know her wedding colors, if they choose to coordinate.

I included my wedding colors on our wedding website, because I’ve gotten asked by friends and family what color to wear so they don’t clash.

View Quoted Comment It is black tie...

I actually think it's fine to ask guests to dress in certain colors! Gold is a little tougher, but black and white would be very easy for your guests - and I think people would have fun with the color combo in general. Just make sure that you don't give anyone a hard time if they ignore your request and wear different colors instead.

I think that it's totally fine to ask your guests to dress in a certain color! Whether or not they show up in the actual colors is a whole different thing haha. I've been to tons of weddings where they asked the guests to dress a certain way, including one where they asked the guests to "dress for a funeral" and everyone showed up in black! There were a few people who didn't of course, but overall, it worked! I thought it looked really cool in the photos and added another element to their wedding. Plus, asking for them to wear black, white, and/or gold isn't a super needy request - - I think most people will have something in one of those colors in their closet! As long as you're okay with the possibility of someone showing up in hot pink and neon green, I don't think there is any problem with requesting that!

I'd have fun following with the gold, black, and white theme especially if it is black tie. However, this might make some uncomfortable as they may need to purchase something new.

Maybe you could rephrase it as a question to make it optional. "Dare to be bold? Wear black, white, or gold."

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This is a great idea! That way you're not "forcing" guests and they can choose to have fun and participate!

I've been back and forth on this myself...we're considering having guests wear white to our destination wedding. People usually buy new outfits for weddings anyway and if they're informed in advance I don't see a problem with it. And guests that I've ran this by are on board with it and thinks it would make for awesome pictures.

No, you can't.

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PP is incorrect, you don't get to tell your guests what color to wear for a black tie wedding either. It's perfectly acceptable for a man to wear a dark suit to a black tie event if he doesn't have and can't afford a tuxedo, for example. Men don't actually have to wear black. Women can wear whatever color they want in a formal dress.

View Quoted Comment Back tie doesn’t mean that everyone has to wear a certain color. Black tie is a level of formality, but mostly a level of hosting that includes butler passed apps, valet parking, a band, etc. Are you actually hosting a black tie event or do you just want to be able to tell people what to wear?

View Quoted Comment Yes it's actually black tie, I know what it means, lol.

And I'm not a bridezilla. Yikes. I thought a black and white event would be fun. That's all. If I were actually going to force people, I wouldn't have asked on a forum.

In my area if you're invited to black tie the bride can tell you no prints/colors. So perhaps it's regional.
That being said if you want a black and white event you could mention it. You can't really force people to wear anything but you can encourage it. I think gold is too open to interpretation myself, someone could show up in yellow.

Are you going to pay for their attire? If not, no you cannot demand they wear a certain color.

In my area it's okay to ask the wedding guests to wear specific colors as long as RSVPs are sent out well in advanced and you aren't going to freak if someone doesn't conform.

I don't see anything wrong with wanting a certain look for your wedding. It's your vision. Here are several articles from reputable wedding sites that can help you in wording what you want without seeming pushy or demanding.

https://www.theknot.com/content/monochromatic-wedding-attire

https://www.brides.com/story/how-do-i-ask-my-guests-to-wear-a-specific-color

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much. This is really helpful!