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Dedicated June 2021

Help Breaking the News

Doxie Mom, on February 7, 2020 at 1:39 PM Posted in Planning 0 7
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Hello All!


Getting married next June and starting to

think about my bridal party. I will be having my best childhood friend as my MOH, my FHs sister as a BM, and my best friend from later life as my last BM.


The problem is I have 5 other close friends that i love dearly (whom I met my best friend from that will be standing in wedding) but we just aren’t as close as me and my other friends. Those whom I was not planning on asking, I stood for in their weddings and they have been hinting at asking if they would be standing in mine , some almost assuming they would be.


I am a people pleaser and want everyone to be happy, but I feel 8 people standing are way too many for our style wedding, and to pick some and not all is hurtful. Plus my FH is not close with that many people and we want ppl standing that we KNOW will be in our lives forever.


My question is it rude to have stood in a wedding and not ask them to stand in yours (I’m a sensitive person and probably would be hurt but want others opinions) and I need nice ways to explain to my other friends that they won’t be in the wedding (even though in theory they are!)


Thanks for any advice







7 Comments

Latest activity by Amanda, on February 7, 2020 at 5:35 PM
  • Amber
    Master February 2020
    Amber ·
    • Flag

    It definitely isn't rude to not ask someone to be a bridesmaid just because you were a bridesmaid for them. If they ask you directly, just explain to them that you and your FH have decided to have a small wedding party.

    • Reply
  • Anna
    Super August 2020
    Anna ·
    • Flag

    Not rude at all. I wouldn't go out of your way to explain why you didn't have them in your bridal party- unless they ask!

    • Reply
  • Kristen
    Rockstar November 2020
    Kristen ·
    • Flag

    I agree with the pp that you are not obligated to but they may be disappointed. I would just say you wanted a small wedding ceremony and you would still love to see these ladies for all the pre wedding events and the day of.

    • Reply
  • Fleur
    October 2020
    Fleur ·
    • Flag

    I think you said it well in your post - just summarize for them..... After much discussion and soul searching we have decided on a small event with a very small wedding party. I love each of you dearly and your friendship means more than you know. While I can't have you as "bridesmaids" you are beyond bridesmaids in my heart. I can't wait to celebrate this day with each of you!

    • Reply
  • D
    Dedicated June 2021
    Doxie Mom ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Love this thank you!
    • Reply
  • Mary
    Savvy December 2021
    Mary ·
    • Flag

    Not rude! I've been in 3 weddings where none of those brides will be in my bridal party. Only sisters in law and a cousin for me Smiley smile.

    • Reply
  • Amanda
    Dedicated January 2021
    Amanda ·
    • Flag

    Not rude at all! I agree with Amber, if they ask you then just explain to them why you made that decision. Otherwise if they are your friends they should just be happy for you and your FH Smiley smile

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