Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Just Said Yes September 2016

HELP!!!! 26 year old future step-daughter still lives at home!!!

Ann, on December 16, 2014 at 11:20 PM Posted in Planning 0 8

Saved

Flag
Hide content

My FH have 2 kids from a previous marriage. The problem is his 26 year old daughter previously lived in California with her mom before the mom decided to move out of the country to pursue a job opportunity, which left the daughter with no where else to go but back to daddy. My FH says that he just want to help his daughter finish college and help get her back on track. My FH son is 19 years old and also live at home. I don't have a problem with him. The daughter hates me, she told her dad that she will never have anything to do with me and she wants him and her mom to get back together. Whenever I come around I speak to her and she ignores me. Also whenever I go to the house she calls her mom to let her know that I'm there. My FH told her that if she didn't stop her behavior she had to find somewhere else to live. Nothing has changed and I don't know what to do. My FH is trying to be a good dad by being there for his kids but his daughter is getting the best of me.

Flag
Hide content

8 Comments

Latest activity by AlexisM082, on December 17, 2014 at 11:24 AM

Master September 2014
Staci · on December 16, 2014 at 11:41 PM
Flag

Hide content
Sounds like its a temporary living situation. Id try to get through it and hope she moves out soon
- Reply
VIP July 2015
soontobeamrs · on December 17, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Flag

Hide content
Welcome to being a stepmother. Gotta deal with it the best you can and try to get through it without forcing your FH to take sides.
- Reply
Super September 2015
Jacquelyn · on December 17, 2014 at 1:49 AM
Flag

Hide content
I lived at home until I finished school to save money. I would just tough it out until then and don't mention it. Maybe things will change too.
- Reply
Dedicated February 2015
Chris · on December 17, 2014 at 4:11 AM
Flag

Hide content
You can try to get though the situation at the present, if she seems to live for a long time, I think you can talk to your husband, and let him deal with it.
- Reply
Rachel DellaPorte · on December 17, 2014 at 6:43 AM
Flag

Hide content
If she isn't out of his house by your wedding day, I think I' postpone the wedding. This sounds like a rather open-ended, "getting on her feet" deal, and if she's not paying him rent, she may be hanging around for a while. This is not a 16 year old daughter that your FH is legally required to feed, house, and clothe. This is a woman who is long beyond the age of majority. She should be depending on him less, not more, but since she is depending on him, he's holding all the cards. He should make rules and enforce them. She'll still be hostile, but it will be more passive/aggressive than overt, and that may be the best you can hope for.

In the meantime, I'd avoid her as much as possible.
- Reply
Master September 2014
Barbara · on December 17, 2014 at 8:20 AM
Flag

Hide content
Im with Centerpiece-- I certainly would not put myself in the position of having to live with someone like that! Clearly if shes 26 and thinks mommy and daddy are going to get back together, then she's far from grown up and this situation may not be as temporary as it sounds. . . .
- Reply
Dedicated June 2015
Amanda · on December 17, 2014 at 11:19 AM
Flag

Hide content
I realize she's being hostile, which is extremely immature, but maybe you can have an open, honest conversation with her and your FH and just tell her you don't appreciate her attitude, that you and your husband are happy to help her, but there has to be boundaries and mutual respect, for both your sakes. Don't be fake about how you feel about her, but just talk it out. After all, it will be your home and you don't want to start your marriage in a toxic environment. The last thing you want to do is alienate your husband from his daughter and vice-versa. She already resents you being there, don't make the situation worse by talking through your FH. Especially since he's already talked to her. At her age, she should understand that you're not trying to be her mommy and if that's not the understanding, maybe clearing the air will help.
- Reply

Master February 2016
AlexisM082 · on December 17, 2014 at 11:24 AM
Flag

Hide content
I'm with Centerpiece and Barbara. Sounds like she doesn't plan on going anywhere anytime soon. At 26 I was well aware my parents weren't getting back together and I wanted them to date! It was more important for me to see them happy than for me to stick my head in the sand and think they'll ever get back together.
- Reply