Heart broken - dad doesn't want to do the dance

Dance lessons? Most of the dance studios around here have monthly dances, where you get to show off what you've learned. So if you guys took lessons together, and then practiced infront of people at one of these dances, the father-daughter dance won't be a big deal for him.

That is a good idea Michelle. I'll have to see if I can find something close. We are from a really small, rural town and I am not sure if I can find something.

Maybe tell him you'll pick a short song and it will be very slow, people will be awing at you, not laughing at him. or if that don't work, tell him that so and so..somebody he doesn't particually like will be standing in for him for the father daughter dance, but the dj will have to announce that he is not your father, hopefully he will see that as looking "more" foolish and that dancing a slow dance isn't really foolish. good luck..

I'm not trying to be harsh here, but...so what if he doesn't want to dance?! I TOTALLY understand not wanting to dance in front of 200 people! I become super shy when all eyes are on me, sure I'll dance all night with my girfriends at a club but it is much different when the DJ specifically tells everyone to gather round and watch. Don't take it so personally, count your blessings darlin', at least you have a father in your life.

This sounds like a good job for FS! Next time your dad and FS are together, slip out for a minute so they can talk alone. Have FS tell him how upset you are (which true) and were crying the other night because your father refused to dance with you (which might be true) and ask if there is anyway he could concede to make sure you are happy on your special day. No dad (or mom, for that matter) wants to feel like their child's spouse is a bigger person then them. If that doesn't work, I think you'll need to bring the tears yourself.

Jessica: *like*

Thanks Jessica. I was thinking about having my mom talk to him too. FH does work with dear old dad, so that might be beneficial too.

@Ms. L - I am totally thankful that I have a dad in my life. He has been amazing and supportive my entire life. I understand that he doesn't really want to dance in front of 200 people, but we are still 7 months away and I am hoping that it is something we can talk about before the wedding

You have some time maybe he will change his mind about it. Or you can hope he does. As the wedding gets closer and closer he might change his mind especially if he knows how important it is and how much it means to you.

However I do understand the not wanting to dance with 200 eyes watching you.

I have no suggestions, only empathy.....my dad doesn't want to either. It sucks.

Hmm I'd be upset too, like if you have a good relationship with your dad, which it sounds like you do, the father-daughter dance is like THE thing (well besides walking you down the aisle) that dads do..Maybe swing it this way; (and i know this is totally basic and it shouldn't matter); but has he thought how it would look to guests if you did not dance together? I get the shy/nervous thing but honestly being a parent means doing things you don't exactly want to do sometimes for your kid (within reason for course) not to mention its the most special day of your life! I'd go the route of having your mom talk to him, or try having a heart to heart with him directly. But at the end of the day, you can't make him do something he refuses to do. Good luck! :-)

I'd say don't pressure him too much. You've still got a while, and if he feels like he's being pressured by everyone he might be even more against the idea. I don't think that having a dance is THE number one thing a father does if he has a good relationship with his daughter. I have a great relationship with my dad and we aren't dancing, nor is he walking me down the aisle. Does he know how important this is to you? My advice would be to talk to him in private and don't get your FH and mom to bully him. Talk to him in private and see if you can come to a compromise.

Thanks for all your help ladies. I know not to push him. I know the kind of man my dad is and he doesn't take too well to people pushing him into things. I talked to my mom about it tonight. She just says "you know how your father is". But I also know the relationship that my dad and I have too. I'm his baby daughter and the apple of his eye. Currently I am back at school since I was just visiting for the weekend. I think sometime when I am down again I will have a heart-to-heart with him.

My dad doesnt either Nor does dear FH! I have a bunch of no-dancing goofballs in my family! But my FH is so much like my dad that I knew it was going to happen. I guess i will make a spectacle of myself, announce the "Father-daughter dance" and go dance with myself LOL, and on my first dance too! Then maybe they will feel bad and join me! LOL. I hope you get him to agree to one dance. Good luck!

@ Lindsey - FH is the same way too. He was very anti-dancing. But he agreed to do it for me since it was important to me. Hoping the powers of persuasion work on dad too.

So forget about the father-daughter dance and do something crazy like a mother-daughter dance. I mean, he's walking you down the isle right?? So give mom a little recognition too and dance with her!! I think it would be a really fun thing to do, and would make mom feel really special!

I figure if the FH is persistant enough to say "NO" then he can't get mad if I dance with someone else LOL

You can always combine the parent dances. That's what we did. pick a nice song that works for both. we used "i hope you dance". i danced with my dad while DH danced with his mom. that way no one has all eyes on them the entire time.