Head count dilemma

Pick a number and stick to it. If you actually want all those people there, then budget for them to be there. If they respond no to the invitation then you get to come in under budget. You can also talk to your venue about adding on extras. We are able to upgrade on items up to one month before the date. So if people can't come, I plan on spending that money on upgrades.

You could choose a venue with different options - Ours has 3 rooms and they just open up the rooms based on how much space you need and adjust your Food/Beverage minimum based on how many rooms you are using

How many people are you inviting/sending STDs to? What is the issue with numbers? Is it space at the venue or budget per head?

I agree with Erin and L&G. We are inviting 165 ppl - but only about 95 are probably going to come. So we have the option to move the bars into the room, or have things to make the room seem smaller if a bunch of people bail. But you do need to plan for everyone you invite.

When FH and I started the process, we first made a list of all the people we would like to invite. Then we started checking around at different venues to see what their capacity was, and what their approximate catering costs would be. Once we found our venue, we were then able to determine the maximum number of guests we could invite to stay within our budget.

Being seven months away, I understand why your guests could be having a difficult time committing. You should definitely look for venues though, I found that to be the one of the most difficult to find a place we wanted, within our budget, for our date.

The thing is though, life happens and things change. A rough headcount this far out is not likely to end up that close to reality. I sent out STD and already found out 1 person I thought for sure was coming, won't be and another that I was sure wouldn't be is planning on traveling across the country to be here. I'm not holding my breath on that because I know things change. Next door neighbor and good friend just found out she's pregnant and due like 3 weeks before the wedding so there's another one probably out.

All you really need to know at this point is your venue's capacity vs your guestlist count. Plan as if 80-90% were coming.

You need to book a venue PRIOR to asking people to save the date- you do not have a date if you do not have a venue! You are less than a year out, so you may not actually be able to get the date you want. You need to decide how many people you would like to invite and pick a venue that will fit that number. Plan as if everyone you invite is coming.

^^oh good point! I hadn't even considered that annakay! Now that you mention that, you're right. Some of the venues will be booked for dates that she may be wanting.

Yeah, NEVER send a STD before having the venue. What if the date and/or location change? (And yes, location is necessary-- people need to plan ahead for travel.)

Once you find a venue, you'll get a price per head (most likely, or be able to figure it out). That will help you figure out how many people you can afford to host. DO NOT invite any more than that number.

Well my date is set regardless due to we are going on a Southern Caribbean cruise that leaves on the 24th. I guess my issue is I have a few options for venues and my mother is really pushing the head count. My top 2 venues are both available. The issue is that my guest count is relatively small maybe about 40 invited. Hearing that most of these people are having issues or are back and forth on coming at all I don't want to shell out $6,000 on a wedding when only 20 people might be in attendance (including us, parents, and bridal party) I would just choose to something smaller or maybe even not at all. Both venues can accommodate any number of guests. I just have a hard time dropping $6,000 for a wedding if no one is going to be able to attend. If that is the case I will just do a small ceremony, dinner at a local restaurant and spend more money on our honeymoon. Does that make sense? Basically if no one can come I am not going to do the whole wedding thing. Once I make that deposit I can't get it back and I can't afford to be out all that money.

It does make sense. Unfortunately this may be something you have to make a decision with the best information you have at the time. Because there is a high likely hood that people will tell you yes today and in 6 months something has happened that has changed their plans. Also, I see brides on here talk about confirmed rsvps that no-show on the actual day.

Are both venues the same price? If one is less expensive, I would be tempted to go that route.

You simply cannot expect decisions from STDs. Even if they say no they still get invited.Base your venue headcount a bit low. Usually you can add but not subtract.

I understand were you are coming from. I have a food and beverage minimum that I need to meet, if nobody comes, it doesn't matter, I will still have to pay it. That is the risk you take sometimes unfortunately. Maybe just find a venue like a hall or community centre where it won't matter if few people come because you won't have a F/B minimum to meet?

They are roughly the same price. Hearing all this I may just be better off going to the courthouse then upgrading to a balcony or suite for our honeymoon. We just got engaged on NYE and already I am exhausted with this. I though it was supposed to be fun. I am saving all my receipts for centerpiece decorations and I have not put down any deposits yet. Luckily we are getting married on a weekday so I have a better chance of getting my date. (The weekday is not the issue with people attending its that we live in Florida and many family and friends are out of state and his family is out of country.)

Money wise we budgeted for 50... bottom line if no one can attend there is no point in having the actual wedding.

Hi Nicole,

Your situation is difficult because you have a destination wedding. It makes it more difficult for people to commit as it is more money. Usually you could guess 60-75% of your invitees will come to the wedding.

I am not sure if many people require people to send back yes or no responses to a STD, that is the job of the RSVP. Consider if you make people answer to the STD, you will have to pay for more postage for them to mail back their answer.

Regardless of the number of people, you should do whatever makes you happy for your ceremony. If you are happy with a court house wedding, then maybe just have your bridal party at the destination wedding and have a local reception once you get back from your honeymoon.

Best of luck!

Have you considered having it at a public park? Or do you have a family member with some nice property? If you're worried about dropping all the money and then no having anyone there look for something free! That's what FH and I did, and we get to use my great aunts BEAUTIFUL farm for free

Wait is your honeymoon the cruise? Or is it a destination wedding? Either way- you seriously don't have a date until the venue is booked. I know someone this happened to! Book a venue that will be appropriate for how many people you want to invite, and get everyone the information out afterwards. If someone didn't have a date actually set and was asking if I'd be coming, my answer would be wishy-washy too. You can't ask people to plan around the possibility of your wedding.

We are not having a destination wedding we live here in Florida. My parents and friends live here as well. It's just aunts, uncles, cousins, and my sister who live out of state. His mom and most of his family (not sure if we are inviting) are literally scattered around the globe from Israel, Russia, Germany, Canada, Japan, and everywhere in between.

Why don't you send an e-mail/text to your "VIPs" you're not sure if ANYBODY will attend? Parents, siblings, bridal party? If you're only inviting 40 people make it seem like you're checking if the date works, and just phrase it as "hey! Finalizing wedding details and we want to send out a feeler if the date is okay to some people we really want to make sure they can make it! We know travel is expensive and stuff, but does the weekend of May 30th work for you, do you think!?" and see what they say.