He dislikes my daughter and doesn't want to get married anymore

As the daughter in a blended family, I feel very strongly that your daughter should be your priority. It seems that his true colors are showing and it will only get worse for your kids from here. I think you should cut your losses and get out of there.

Wow. Second couples counseling, if you want to continue the relationship. And definitely tighten your purse strings. I'm sorry this is happening OP. That's just awful.

He's marrying your whole family, not just you. He can't pick and choose. Your daughter deserves a stepdad who will love her unconditionally.

#1 You have every right to feel betrayed, but do not feel stupid. It is never stupid to believe in the ones we love!! Some people (men and women) just have a knack for seeing someone who believes inherently in the good of people and they take advantage of that for as long as they can, then they move on. He is probably one of those people. You loved him and believed in him, and he betrayed your trust. That is completely on him, not on you.

#2 You need to leave, ASAP. If he is "picking on" your daughter, then he is abusing her, at least verbally and/or mentally. If you stay with him and allow him to do that, then you are allowing the abuse to continue. My sisters and I were abused as children by our mother, and sexually abused by different men, my sisters by a step-father at age 6-7, and my mother chose to stay with him and let it happen. I know this is not what is happening, but letting any kind of abuse happen will change your relationship with your daughter FOREVER. (I just put in the part about it happening to us so you would know I am saying it as an abuse survivor, not for sympathy).

#3 As PP stated, see a lawyer and find out what can be done. If you end up being stuck with all the bills, you may have no choice but to file bankruptcy in order to get out from under them. It will suck and will ding your credit horribly but there are ways to help it get better if you choose to go that route. For instance, you can keep your car or one of your credit cards and do something called "reaffirmation", which can help you bring your score back up a bit immediately, rather than waiting the 10 years for the bankruptcy to fall off. And, you can usually buy a house again after 2-3 years.

#4 Please do not put any deposits down, take that money and get yourselves an apartment and then please get some counseling for yourself and your daughter. Your daughter will probably think it is her fault since she has probably heard him say something about her "misbehaving" and she will need some therapy to realize this is not her fault, and that he has the problem not her.

Good luck to you, and please take care of yourself and your daughters!!

Hugs to you all!!!

Definitely counseling or leave

Many PP have voiced what I would say, but do not feel stupid or embarrassed. Money will come and money will go but your daughter is what should be the most important thing right now.

Why would you invest in a house that does NOT have you name on it? Cut your losses and GO.

It seems like he's an Ass! As horrible as it may see you are gonna have to chalk that pool money up as a loss. Put your children first and take that wedding money and get you and your girls somewhere to live #screwhim

Get out of it. your daughter is a part of your family unit. its all or nothing. put her first

Richard, I have to google that. lol

Coming from someone who's mother married someone who treated me poorly and to this day I do not even speak to.. please put your daughter first!! You can totally find someone else who will love you AND your family

OP please keep us updated.

Get out of there. Take you and your kids and be done with him.

I know it's too late to say this but never ever put any money into a property you do not own. I think he totally used you. I'm sorry to say this. I know you're hurting right now. But get away from this guy like yesterday.

OG Kathryn, thank you, I definitely will

I wouldn't even go to counseling at this point, your daughter should be a nonnegotiable. She's going to act out, as every kid does. I am all for counseling for pretty much anything, even infidelity, but not this. Don't be embarrassed, good luck op. Sending positive thoughts to you and your girls.

He doesn't want to marry you because he doesn't like your daughter. That is everything you need to know. No question.

Fuck that guy. My son and my fh don't always see eye to eye, but their is never a doubt in either of their minds that they are loved by the other. Same with me and fh daughter. I would never expect him to chose me over his daughter, and he would never allow me to chose him over my son.

But seriously. Fuck that guy.

That's called ridiculously conditional love and I'd say screw him. If your daughter is truly the reason for him wanting to call off a wedding and life with you, then he's shallow AF. I'm

My mom (repeatedly) chose her husband over her children and it absolutely destroyed our relationship. Also he sounds like a jerk. Run far, far away!

Thanks everyone. That's how I feel. If he truly loved me he would accept my daughters too. They are both very good girls. Not perfect, but kind, sweet, respectful and most of all loving. I know he was a bachelor with no kids forever and that was big change for him, but it was a change for all of us. If there was love, it would all be ok. That my 10 year old daughter forgets to feed the dog would not become a big deal. But everything little thing is big deal with him lately.

After reading all of your answers, and with my doubts, questions and hurts, I can see that he is after all selfish and not in love with me. He does need to grow up but I'm not his mom, that's not my job.

To top it all off, he just text me: he traded his car for a brand new very flashy Audi white SUV... if that doesn't scream "I want to be single and mingle", then I don't know... Obviously his priorities are all in the wrong places at 41 years old. I can't believe I felt for it.

@Lili you sound like a great mom and sweet person. I am glad that it seems you are seeing the light. This guy doesn't seem to be the right person to be around you and your daughter. I think is time to move on and focus on yourself and your daughters. Hugs!!