Having a hard time with fiancé’s family and am feeling very discouraged.

She probably wants to be involved during a reasonable planning period, though. Not 3 years out from the wedding.

I'm also confused by this. She can't have it both ways. I'd say she's made it clear that she doesn't want to be involved in the wedding and I would respect that. Just stop sharing wedding information with her because she will not offer the support you would like. Plenty of people can be excited with you. I'm not sharing anything with my FIL's other than the date of the wedding. If they want to know something specific, they can ask.

I know it's very exciting to plan a wedding. However, just enjoy some time with your FIANCE! Don't get right down to planning. He'll be your husband for the rest of your life. Take some time for the two of you. Take small weekend trips, learn new things about each other. Take some cooking lessons or order home chef so you can cook together. Enjoy every moment while you can. I don't know who said the wedding planning process is glamorous or enjoyable because it's NOT. It's fun in the beginning when you're searching for venues & attire but trust me, it becomes a stressful & trying. Only the strongest couples make it through. Don't speak to your MIL about your wedding until something requires you to speak to her. It's as simple as that

Now is a great time to start gathering ideas. Pin away to Pinterest boards, yes, get magazines and page through and grab dresses you like. Why not? All this research will inform your budget. How much do you want to spend, and on what? Start filling out the budgeting tool on WW (it's great, actually). Start pricing out vendors, too, if you want: sometimes you can lock in pricing when you put a deposit down - because those prices will go up in the next couple of years!

I also highly recommend starting a savings account or starting to save now so you can watch that money grow as time goes on. Every time we put money into our joint/wedding account, it got more real and exciting.

Your mother-in-law-to-be may just be the practical (and not day-dreamy) type, and that's ok. I wouldn't spend a lot of time trying to change her or make her as excited as you are (which is totally normal as well). Save your ideas now, start booking vendors 18 months out and share details as you get closer. I suspect that maybe as time goes on she will be happy to join you in your planning (i.e. things like dress shopping or menu tasting or things like that).

Probably the best option is to stop talking to her about that. She doesn't sound happy with you being engaged but it would be polite NOT to ruin your happiness with annoyed facial expressions and nasty remarks. Since she can't do that, you better avoid this topic once she is around. It is unavoidable once the wedding is around the corner but right now I'd probably stopped discussing it with her to give her some time to accept all these things, it is too early for her.

Like others have said it's probably best to leave her out of the planning process and her input will be solicited when needed. My MIL knows nothing about the wedding. She doesn't ask and I don't tell. Even my bridesmaids are clueless about the details of the wedding. The only people that know anything are my mom, fiance and wedding planner. When people ask about colors I give them generic answers, shades of blue. Heck, that can mean light, dark, navy or dusty blue. I let them figure it out. When they ask something I don't want them to know, I say "you'll have to wait and see!" Enjoy your time planning and don't let anyone take away your excitement from planning, no matter how long it is.

PREACH! I wish I would have/could do the same