Having a courthouse wedding

Why are you doing the courthouse? I think we need to know more. Typically, people going to the courthouse skip a lot of the traditions, but there are other ways to make this feel like a wedding.... I mean, it WILL be a real wedding, but if you're having a tiny group in a courthouse, some of the other things might not make sense.

Tell us more.

Hi

I agree please tell us more

I also agree, tell us more. I find it weird that you're having a courthouse wedding a year from now. To me those are the "lets get married today" kind of weddings, but like I said that's just me.

We are having a courthouse wedding because we are paying for the wedding ourselves . We have a lot of bills and would rather use the money to buy a house because right now we rent. I work a full time job and am a full time student right now. We have looked at venues and can't find anything cheaper than 3k which we know we can't afford. Money is just a big issue with us right now.

Sure you can. Find a nicer little restaurant. Invite your closest family members and very close friends; 20 tops. Find a fabulous officiant like me (okay, okay, you KNEW that was coming, lol) and have a wonderful, romantic, sweet wedding. It will be just as real as any other wedding is, and you won't break the bank. I'd bet you can do the whole thing in a classy, fabulous way for under 3 grand.

I'd skip the engagement party but sure; register so you can tell people where to go if they want to gift you.

I did a wedding yesterday that was just like this; 40 guests, ME!, iPod music, simple dried wreath centerpieces; it was really, really beautiful.

Celia said everything I was pretty much going to say.

People are probably going to ask you about gifts. You could always make a little registry if there are things you want/need.

Why don't you have the ceremony at the same time as your BBQ? Unless it's a matter of wanting it to be really intimate. (Sorry, I know it's none of my business. It's just pure curiosity)

I would say no to an engagement party, but go ahead and create a registry if you wish. I am having a courthouse wedding too. We have been together several years, own property, are not religious etc. A big wedding was not something either of us wanted to deal with. My dress is off the rack. Our engagement is only 3 months long because we figured why wait, let's just go to city hall (if it weren't for the fact that I hate hot weather we would have done it even sooner, but I did not want to get married in the summer). We will have a very small celebration (seriously- a 10-15 people max dinner) a few months later. Since you have a year, you should be able to save and plan for a nice little party.

Etiquette typically frowns on throwing your own engagement party, bridal shower or bachelorette party -- even if you're having a traditional wedding.

I think an engagement party and bbq would cost just as much as what Celia described. I think it would make my scratch my head if friends had a bbq to save money, but then were also able to throw an engagement party. You can register, especially if you do a small wedding like what Celia described. Try asking about prices for lunch/ brunch, too!

Why not get married at the BBQ? At least then you'll be surrounded by more people and it can definitely feel more like a traditional wedding than at a courthouse. You can wear the white dress, etc. but just have a super casual reception, which is fine!

Like other posters, I'm confused. The reception is the expensive part and it sounds like you're planning on doing that anyway? There's nothing wrong with getting married at the courthouse but I'm just confused that your budget is the reason when you plan on having a reception anyway.

Skip the engagement party. It's fine to register but don't advertise it anywhere.

I have one of two thoughts, both of which were already mentioned:

Get married at the bbq. You'll already have your friends and family, just tack on an officiant and voila! It will be fun, sweet, and intimate. And you'll be married (mission accomplished). Actually, my friend had an engagement party that was at a local state park, it was a bbq, and at the end of it, she was like "why aren't we just married now, this felt like a wedding to me. Food, friends, and cake."

Or like Celia said, have a wedding in a restaurant. What she described is beautiful.

I actually personally prefer one of those two options (probably option 1) for myself. I'm only going bigger to please FMIL's side of the family. He's the baby and kinda the last to get married before the next generation. His mom is really looking forward to attending his wedding and being a part of it all (her other son eloped and she has no daughters).

The short answer is you shouldn't throw your own engagement party. You can register at places but you shouldn't volunteer the information unless asked. Engagement parties are pre-wedding related and if people are invited to that, they must be invited to the wedding.

After reading @Ashley C. 's comment I have to share my friend's wedding with you. She had been married before and didn't really do a big wedding thing for that one either. She has a very small horse farm and her horses (and motorcycle) are huge parts of her life. They invited all their friends over for a BBQ wedding at the farm. She even wore jeans and a simple white blouse. Truly one of the most stunning brides I have ever seen. You don't have to have the gown and pro hair and makeup to be a stunning bride. Just the look on their faces from their photos (taken by friends at the wedding with their own cameras) was breathtaking. Everyone invited knew it was a wedding and it was a jeans type BBQ at the farm. Didn't cost an arm and a leg. Mom and grandma made a few desserts to replace the uber expensive traditional wedding cake. It was awesome.

There are ways out there to include your friends without breaking the bank. Since you are already hosting a BBQ I would just get married there. It isn't the tulle, flowers, and other wedding paraphernalia that make a wedding - it is the committed couple. It will be a real wedding wherever you decide to do it.

^^^ I agree with all of the previous posts! Where were you planning on having this "party"? The party is the most expensive part, if you were already planning on throwing one just get married at the party.

Yeah, dude. We had our backyard BBQ wedding for under $3k. Just hire an officiant for your BBQ/party and get married at the party! :-)

I only wonder why wait a year to have a courthouse wedding? Either way for ideas most brides go to pinterest.

We just got engaged and want to enjoy being engaged for awhile. That's why we are waiting a year or incase plans change. Or else we'd be at the courthouse already. Celia you are a officiant? We are doing the bbq/party at my fiances dads house it's on the water in Essex Md, Or we were thinking mckeldin park which is part of Potomac state park in Marriottsville.

OMG! The park sounds beautiful. I haven't been there, but I am a Maryland resident. I think a bbq at the park sounds beautiful for a wedding. My friend's engagement party that should said could have just been her wedding was at one of our state parks.

Where was that Ashely C ?

I am, Nicole. If you PM me, I'm sure I can point you in the direction of someone good. It'll be so fun!