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Just Said Yes August 2013

Having a civil ceremony 1st then big ceremony in a year

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Karla, on May 29, 2012 at 10:58 AM

I have always dreamed of having a big wedding with all of our friends and family but my FH recently suggested the idea of first having a civil ceremony with just our parents/children present and then having a big ceremony on our first anniversary. I am torn because I know that marrying him sooner comes with practical benefits (ie. health insurance for my son and I) but I don't want to sacrifice all of the bells and whistles that come with having a large wedding (bridal showers, big wedding party, bouquet/garter toss, toasts, etc). I am most concerned because I don't want the larger ceremony to seem like a sham, either less exciting to us or to our guests. Has anyone else considered something like this? What are your thoughts/advise in handling the situation?

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25 Comments

Just Said Yes June 2017
R&R · on January 10, 2016 at 9:39 PM
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Ok if you have a civil ceremony and then have a bigger wedding in one year how would you word the invitations?
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Just Said Yes April 2016
ma · on January 7, 2017 at 8:17 AM
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I just travelled out of the country to attend a "wedding" but discovered that they were already married before. I wish they told me before I spent $3000 and taking a week off from work. I would not have attended their party if I had known. Watching two single become a married couple is much more significant than an ordinary party. My suggestion is that you be honest about what you are inviting people to.
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Just Said Yes April 2016
ma · on January 7, 2017 at 8:17 AM
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I just travelled out of the country to attend a "wedding" but discovered that they were already married before. I wish they told me before I spent $3000 and taking a week off from work. I would not have attended their party if I had known. Watching two single become a married couple is much more significant than an ordinary party. My suggestion is that you be honest about what you are inviting people to.
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Just Said Yes November 2021
Renee · on August 13, 2020 at 1:38 PM
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How did you guys handle the ring situation? Did you guys buy a ring for the courthouse ceremony and another ring for the big wedding? I’m considering doing the same but not sure how to handle the rings
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Beginner February 2025
Virginia · on April 21, 2023 at 11:40 PM
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Glad to know I’m not the only who wants to do this. I belong to a wedding advice group on FB and when I mentioned that I did a courthouse ceremony and want to do the big wedding with all the fun stuff in a couple years I was told that I’m deceptive and no one would show up or people would be angry and ask for their gifts back to find out I’ve been married all along. My wedding is in 2025 and I was also shamed for having something two years away and being told no one would commit to a fake event so far out. So seeing this is refreshing
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